Late Parents - What is the best way to deal with them????

[PilotMan]

I work with the cadet program and throughly enjoy my time with them for the most part. 

One of my big issues is with parents who show up late to pick their cadet.  We have lives beyond CAP and need parents to be responsible and on time. 

What is the best way to deal with late parents?

Thanks All!!

[SarDragon]

Here's a similar thread: http://captalk.net/index.php?topic=15613.0

[PilotMan]

Here's a similar thread: http://captalk.net/index.php?topic=15613.0

This is more about dealing with parents being late and dealing with the parents directly versus the cadet.  I of course mention the problem of being late to the cadet in a nice way.  I realize that this is not their fault unless they didn't tell the parents to be there on time. 

[Al Sayre]

If it happens more than once or twice, I usually make sure that they know I live 50 miles away and have to get up at 0430 to go to work at my regular job. It's hard to do that if I have to wait around an extra hour for them to pick up their cadet...

[a2capt]

Suck 'em in. Get 'em to join. Then they won' t be late, ... they'll be part of the reason you leave late .. trying to get everyone else out first!

[Eclipse]

Stuff happens, but you have to be direct that we aren't baby sitters.

I don't think I've ever left a unit meeting on time, but that's because there's other work to do, not sit and mind a cadet with nothing to do.

Fool me once, etc...

[Garibaldi]

Maybe it's a case of "I guess it's OK that we pick Charlie up late because no one has ever said anything about it"?

I'd probably send a note home with the cadets, something to the effect that meetings are over at 2100, and we need to vacate the facility NLT 2130 due to "security reasons" or whatever. Parents rarely argue with "security reasons".   

[ol'fido]

I guess I'm going to go with "It depends". If Mom is a space cadet and can't remember to turn off Oprah or the View in time to pick up Johnny, I am going to be less tolerant. If Mom is a single working mother who is busting her butt working two jobs to try and give her kids a good life and trying to scrape together enough so Johnny can be in CAP, I ain't gonna say a thing.

[MSG Mac]

Most schools will charge for a late pickup of kids.

[PilotMan]

Suck 'em in. Get 'em to join. Then they won' t be late, ... they'll be part of the reason you leave late .. trying to get everyone else out first!

I dont want to be late..... Long day!!  Time to go home!! 

[PilotMan]

Maybe it's a case of "I guess it's OK that we pick Charlie up late because no one has ever said anything about it"?

I'd probably send a note home with the cadets, something to the effect that meetings are over at 2100, and we need to vacate the facility NLT 2130 due to "security reasons" or whatever. Parents rarely argue with "security reasons".   

I would be lying...............

[PilotMan]

I guess I'm going to go with "It depends". If Mom is a space cadet and can't remember to turn off Oprah or the View in time to pick up Johnny, I am going to be less tolerant. If Mom is a single working mother who is busting her butt working two jobs to try and give her kids a good life and trying to scrape together enough so Johnny can be in CAP, I ain't gonna say a thing.

Hate to be insensitive but...... My wife doesn't care about the other mom.  She wants her child home to feed and put to bed on time.

Make arrangements for your child and don't rely on me to remind you to do what your supposed too......

Just sayen......

[EMT-83]

Deal with it instantly when Mom or Dad arrives. "Sir/Ma'am, we dismissed 30 minutes ago and you're late."  If you're standing at your car in the parking lot when they pull in, all the better.

If they have work schedule problems, it's just plain rude on their part to not make arrangements. Maybe someone could stay later, if asked. Remember, people will only take advantage of you if you let them.

[Garibaldi]

Maybe it's a case of "I guess it's OK that we pick Charlie up late because no one has ever said anything about it"?

I'd probably send a note home with the cadets, something to the effect that meetings are over at 2100, and we need to vacate the facility NLT 2130 due to "security reasons" or whatever. Parents rarely argue with "security reasons".   

I would be lying...............

Security reasons as in "I have a life and the next time you show up late to pick up your kid no one is going to be there to watch over him, don't blame me, I don't get paid to be a babysitter after 2100 when the meeting ends."

[SARDOC]

The Local school districts here for kids that stay after for extracurricular activities, give the parents two written warnings for anything over thirty minutes and on the Third Offense they contact the Police Department and have the Police explain it to the Parents.

I know that doesn't really help you.  I just thought it was interesting.

[Smokey]

Just tell them like they do after the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyland...If you leave your kid behind we send them to be a character in "It's a small world."

[a2capt]

It's A Small World ride at Magic Kingdom

[spaatzmom]

There are times when parents may not be at fault for being late to pick up their child.  I am reminded of two instances when my son was a cadet that were out of my control.  Why do I say that?  Well because of the incredibly poor directions I was given to go get him.  The first was at a place I can best describe as you can't get there from here in the heart of Florida.  There was no CAP van to transport cadets from the Tampa area, so parents, granted there were very few of us at that time that sent our kids to wing events, had to do their own transport.  On the way there, he was taken by another family but on the way back, I had to go get him.  The directions were vague to say the least and there were no phone numbers of sm's to contact.  I stopped several times asking how to get to this facility and got very conflicting info.  So from the time I got to the general area at noon stopped for lunch and directions to when I finally arrived nearly 5 hours later, I was frazzled to say the least,n't it was getting dark and I had no clue where I was.  Finally, I received a phone call from a sm who guided me to the place.  The up shot is that those I asked directions from didn't even know it was one town over.

The second time was again a wing event on the east coast,  I had my son write down the turns we took with landmarks for me as we went to the event.  I used them for the next weekend to go get him.  What I did't realize was that most of the turns had the same landmarks that we used.  I made a turn way too early, and instead of ending up near Satellite Beach was closer to Titusville, quite a ways way.  Top it off there was construction all the way south with many confusing detours.  Finally, I arrived but missed the luncheon to honor the 6 graduates of the course and earning me the reputation of not someone who will arrive on time.  It to some degree had an effect on how others perceived my son also.  Not fair to either of us when directions are poor and no contact numbers are given.  You can bet that as soon as GPS became available for the general public, I got one.

Just saying, it isn't always the way you think it may be.

[Garibaldi]

There are times when parents may not be at fault for being late to pick up their child.  I am reminded of two instances when my son was a cadet that were out of my control.  Why do I say that?  Well because of the incredibly poor directions I was given to go get him.  The first was at a place I can best describe as you can't get there from here in the heart of Florida.  There was no CAP van to transport cadets from the Tampa area, so parents, granted there were very few of us at that time that sent our kids to wing events, had to do their own transport.  On the way there, he was taken by another family but on the way back, I had to go get him.  The directions were vague to say the least and there were no phone numbers of sm's to contact.  I stopped several times asking how to get to this facility and got very conflicting info.  So from the time I got to the general area at noon stopped for lunch and directions to when I finally arrived nearly 5 hours later, I was frazzled to say the least,n't it was getting dark and I had no clue where I was.  Finally, I received a phone call from a sm who guided me to the place.  The up shot is that those I asked directions from didn't even know it was one town over.

The second time was again a wing event on the east coast,  I had my son write down the turns we took with landmarks for me as we went to the event.  I used them for the next weekend to go get him.  What I did't realize was that most of the turns had the same landmarks that we used.  I made a turn way too early, and instead of ending up near Satellite Beach was closer to Titusville, quite a ways way.  Top it off there was construction all the way south with many confusing detours.  Finally, I arrived but missed the luncheon to honor the 6 graduates of the course and earning me the reputation of not someone who will arrive on time.  It to some degree had an effect on how others perceived my son also.  Not fair to either of us when directions are poor and no contact numbers are given.  You can bet that as soon as GPS became available for the general public, I got one.

Just saying, it isn't always the way you think it may be.

Once or twice is excusable, even forgivable, but when it's chronic, that throws EVERYONE out of whack. Someone HAS to stay until the last cadet goes home, at least that's the way it's been in our unit. No cadet left behind and all that. But like I said, if it's an ongoing thing, people will start to think that it's OK to be late, someone will watch Johnny til I get there. And that's BS. We're not babysitters once the meeting is over. Pick up your cadet on time, and if you can't for whatever reason, they have a piece of paper that says "Meeting ends at 2100. Please have your child picked up no later than 2130" and make it for whatever reason you feel comfortable giving.

Maybe have a meeting with the parents before the meeting stressing the importance of timeliness as part of their cadet's career. Being on time is a big part of CAP because if I say "we're leaving at 1800 hours, please be here at 1730" and I'm still waiting on one cadet at 1815, I leave a note on the door saying so sorry, we told you to be here 45 minutes ago, we had to leave to be where we had to be on time. If I don't get a phone call saying "Sorry, we're running a hair late can you wait?" then I assume they don't care about being at that activity enough to show up on time.

[spaatzmom]

There are times when parents may not be at fault for being late to pick up their child.  I am reminded of two instances when my son was a cadet that were out of my control.  Why do I say that?  Well because of the incredibly poor directions I was given to go get him.  The first was at a place I can best describe as you can't get there from here in the heart of Florida.  There was no CAP van to transport cadets from the Tampa area, so parents, granted there were very few of us at that time that sent our kids to wing events, had to do their own transport.  On the way there, he was taken by another family but on the way back, I had to go get him.  The directions were vague to say the least and there were no phone numbers of sm's to contact.  I stopped several times asking how to get to this facility and got very conflicting info.  So from the time I got to the general area at noon stopped for lunch and directions to when I finally arrived nearly 5 hours later, I was frazzled to say the least,n't it was getting dark and I had no clue where I was.  Finally, I received a phone call from a sm who guided me to the place.  The up shot is that those I asked directions from didn't even know it was one town over.

The second time was again a wing event on the east coast,  I had my son write down the turns we took with landmarks for me as we went to the event.  I used them for the next weekend to go get him.  What I did't realize was that most of the turns had the same landmarks that we used.  I made a turn way too early, and instead of ending up near Satellite Beach was closer to Titusville, quite a ways way.  Top it off there was construction all the way south with many confusing detours.  Finally, I arrived but missed the luncheon to honor the 6 graduates of the course and earning me the reputation of not someone who will arrive on time.  It to some degree had an effect on how others perceived my son also.  Not fair to either of us when directions are poor and no contact numbers are given.  You can bet that as soon as GPS became available for the general public, I got one.

Just saying, it isn't always the way you think it may be.

Once or twice is excusable, even forgivable, but when it's chronic, that throws EVERYONE out of whack. Someone HAS to stay until the last cadet goes home, at least that's the way it's been in our unit. No cadet left behind and all that. But like I said, if it's an ongoing thing, people will start to think that it's OK to be late, someone will watch Johnny til I get there. And that's BS. We're not babysitters once the meeting is over. Pick up your cadet on time, and if you can't for whatever reason, they have a piece of paper that says "Meeting ends at 2100. Please have your child picked up no later than 2130" and make it for whatever reason you feel comfortable giving.

Maybe have a meeting with the parents before the meeting stressing the importance of timeliness as part of their cadet's career. Being on time is a big part of CAP because if I say "we're leaving at 1800 hours, please be here at 1730" and I'm still waiting on one cadet at 1815, I leave a note on the door saying so sorry, we told you to be here 45 minutes ago, we had to leave to be where we had to be on time. If I don't get a phone call saying "Sorry, we're running a hair late can you wait?" then I assume they don't care about being at that activity enough to show up on time.

While I agree with you whole heartedly, I was giving you two examples that were not I hope the norm.  Poor directions and no contact info given to the cadet for an event that was several hundred miles away from the home unit.  Had I had contact info, for the first event, I would have been there well before the time of pick up by hours.  But alas that was not to be and stopping to ask for directions was futile as no one asked even knew the state facility was in the next town over.  Again poor directions and no contact info for the second led to a close call of missing the entire graduation but it did put me way out of my way from where I was supposed to be.  These were not the typical local squadron events, they were wing level events.  Thankfully since then contact info has been provided to parents for wing events.  I was trying to make others aware that it is not always the parent who is at fault.