Late Parents - What is the best way to deal with them????

[Garibaldi]

While I agree with you whole heartedly, I was giving you two examples that were not I hope the norm.  Poor directions and no contact info given to the cadet for an event that was several hundred miles away from the home unit.  Had I had contact info, for the first event, I would have been there well before the time of pick up by hours.  But alas that was not to be and stopping to ask for directions was futile as no one asked even knew the state facility was in the next town over.  Again poor directions and no contact info for the second led to a close call of missing the entire graduation but it did put me way out of my way from where I was supposed to be.  These were not the typical local squadron events, they were wing level events.  Thankfully since then contact info has been provided to parents for wing events.  I was trying to make others aware that it is not always the parent who is at fault.

That wasn't the original intent of the OP. He was venting on parents who continually and habitually show up late to pick up their cadets. Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances that we can excuse (worked late unexpectedly, flat tire, sick child not in CAP, etc) but to the parents that habitually show up 30-45 minutes late KNOWING when the meeting ends and not offering any sort of excuse or apology, up with this we will not put.

Also, I have a feeling, based on experience, that some of the cadets aren't telling their parents the whole story. A lot of younger kids are wishy-washy with giving information out, and I haven't figured out why. I had one cadet a long time ago who didn't tell his parents what time to pick him up from an activity 90 miles from his home unit. We were stuck trying to shoehorn him into an already fully packed van so we could vacate the location AND try to get hold of his parents to meet us to come get him. He kept giving us phone numbers that he "thought" was his parent's cell or home, or his grandparent's. None of them worked. Finally, we were able to get hold of his unit CC who met us and took him home.

So, yeah.

[spaatzmom]

While I agree with you whole heartedly, I was giving you two examples that were not I hope the norm.  Poor directions and no contact info given to the cadet for an event that was several hundred miles away from the home unit.  Had I had contact info, for the first event, I would have been there well before the time of pick up by hours.  But alas that was not to be and stopping to ask for directions was futile as no one asked even knew the state facility was in the next town over.  Again poor directions and no contact info for the second led to a close call of missing the entire graduation but it did put me way out of my way from where I was supposed to be.  These were not the typical local squadron events, they were wing level events.  Thankfully since then contact info has been provided to parents for wing events.  I was trying to make others aware that it is not always the parent who is at fault.

That wasn't the original intent of the OP. He was venting on parents who continually and habitually show up late to pick up their cadets. Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances that we can excuse (worked late unexpectedly, flat tire, sick child not in CAP, etc) but to the parents that habitually show up 30-45 minutes late KNOWING when the meeting ends and not offering any sort of excuse or apology, up with this we will not put.

Also, I have a feeling, based on experience, that some of the cadets aren't telling their parents the whole story. A lot of younger kids are wishy-washy with giving information out, and I haven't figured out why. I had one cadet a long time ago who didn't tell his parents what time to pick him up from an activity 90 miles from his home unit. We were stuck trying to shoehorn him into an already fully packed van so we could vacate the location AND try to get hold of his parents to meet us to come get him. He kept giving us phone numbers that he "thought" was his parent's cell or home, or his grandparent's. None of them worked. Finally, we were able to get hold of his unit CC who met us and took him home.

So, yeah.

I work with the cadet program and throughly enjoy my time with them for the most part. 

One of my big issues is with parents who show up late to pick their cadet.  We have lives beyond CAP and need parents to be responsible and on time. 

What is the best way to deal with late parents?

Thanks All!!


In no way does he have such a limited implication of home unit meetings.  There are always at minimum 2 sides to every story and in some 3 or 4.  Those putting on the event do have a responsibility in giving accurate directions and emergency contact info to the member and parent.  The member also has a responsibility to give those running the event/meeting accurate emergency contact info.  There was a time when everyone had to show a form I think it was 60(emergency info form) to get into any event at least in Fl and have one on their person.  Again, just saying or at the very least trying to get some to not only think outside the box but actually get out of the box and look around before squarely laying blame on one part of the equation.

[jimmydeanno]

I think that a lot of these issues would be solved if our members would just communicate with parents from day one.  For some reason, all the units I've ever joined do the absolute minimum in talking with parents about CAP stuff.  There are units who don't even take the time to meet the parents once, not even when the cadet is joining or still interested.  They just get dropped off, and voila, we make them a cadet.

This type of stuff is fixed with open communication.  When the perspective cadet comes in without a parent, let them know that you need to talk to their parent.  Tell the parent what types of expectations cadets have - including punctuality, both in showing up and being picked up.  Tell them where to find a calendar of events (if you don't have one, make one).  Send out messages about upcoming events with details about where and when to meet and get picked up.  When the parents come to pick up their kids, have someone out there that can give a quick "hello" each week, or encourage the parents to come in and get them.  In my experience, parents appreciate communication about what is going on, and we usually don't provide it, or at least not effectively.  Also, if you're expecting the parents to be on time, end your meeting on time.  Nothing is more aggravating than telling someone that the meeting ends at 2030, and everyone is dismissed at 2100.  If we can't be on time, why are we expecting parents to be?

Sure, some still aren't going to get it, but I'm pretty sure it'll make a dent in the 'problem.'  We are part of their community, and communicating with them will make them feel more involved and more aware of who we are, as well as boost our reputation as being a responsible organization that people can trust their kids with.

I do a lot of talking to parents, both when the cadet wants to join, but also every time they get dropped off for meetings, activities, parents that come in for closing formation, and with our annual parent meeting (no cadets present).  We talk about what we've done over the year, what is going on for the upcoming year, challenges we face, what we do to protect their cadet (CPPT stuff), have a question and answer session, and have a good ol' time. 

Fortunately, all 45 of my cadets get picked up on time, every meeting.  I like to think its because of the communication we initiate with our corps of parents.  YMMV.

[Go_Blue]

While I agree with you whole heartedly, I was giving you two examples that were not I hope the norm.  Poor directions and no contact info given to the cadet for an event that was several hundred miles away from the home unit.  Had I had contact info, for the first event, I would have been there well before the time of pick up by hours.  But alas that was not to be and stopping to ask for directions was futile as no one asked even knew the state facility was in the next town over.  Again poor directions and no contact info for the second led to a close call of missing the entire graduation but it did put me way out of my way from where I was supposed to be.  These were not the typical local squadron events, they were wing level events.  Thankfully since then contact info has been provided to parents for wing events.  I was trying to make others aware that it is not always the parent who is at fault.

That wasn't the original intent of the OP. He was venting on parents who continually and habitually show up late to pick up their cadets. Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances that we can excuse (worked late unexpectedly, flat tire, sick child not in CAP, etc) but to the parents that habitually show up 30-45 minutes late KNOWING when the meeting ends and not offering any sort of excuse or apology, up with this we will not put.

Also, I have a feeling, based on experience, that some of the cadets aren't telling their parents the whole story. A lot of younger kids are wishy-washy with giving information out, and I haven't figured out why. I had one cadet a long time ago who didn't tell his parents what time to pick him up from an activity 90 miles from his home unit. We were stuck trying to shoehorn him into an already fully packed van so we could vacate the location AND try to get hold of his parents to meet us to come get him. He kept giving us phone numbers that he "thought" was his parent's cell or home, or his grandparent's. None of them worked. Finally, we were able to get hold of his unit CC who met us and took him home.

So, yeah.

I work with the cadet program and throughly enjoy my time with them for the most part. 

One of my big issues is with parents who show up late to pick their cadet.  We have lives beyond CAP and need parents to be responsible and on time. 

What is the best way to deal with late parents?

Thanks All!!


In no way does he have such a limited implication of home unit meetings.  There are always at minimum 2 sides to every story and in some 3 or 4.  Those putting on the event do have a responsibility in giving accurate directions and emergency contact info to the member and parent.  The member also has a responsibility to give those running the event/meeting accurate emergency contact info.  There was a time when everyone had to show a form I think it was 60(emergency info form) to get into any event at least in Fl and have one on their person.  Again, just saying or at the very least trying to get some to not only think outside the box but actually get out of the box and look around before squarely laying blame on one part of the equation.

You have well reprented the argument that there are circumstances outside the parents' control.  Especially with a large event where directions/contact information was not given.  That's a gaff on the unit - I don't think anyone is arguing with you on that.  However, I see most everyone here talking about routine, home meetings where parents neglect (on a regular basis) to pick their children up on time.  Not the occasional large or out of the ordinary event.  Weekly meetings that end at 2100, and the parents routinely fail to show up until 2130 or later.  It goes back to the need for improved communication as stated above.  Expectactions of the unit need to be made clear to the cadet AND the parent.  If the parent is incapable of picking their kid up on time (either because they are just not timely, or they have work or other committments), then they need to make other arrangements (ie. carpooling).  Thankfully from what I've seen of my new unit, they appear to be on top of this issue and have supportive parental units.

Bottom line, communication and responsibility.  It applies to big events or the weekly meeting.

[Eclipse]

Yes, the original direction of this thread was routine unit meetings and similiar activities, but I've spent more then my
share of time sitting for an hour or (more) with a militay liason and other staff waiting for the parent of a cadet(s) to pick them up from encampment - many times the answer is anything from "we didn't know it was over today", to "we couldn't find the place" to the ever popular
"we thought he was coming home with 'x' ".

Mistakes happen, and you can generally tell the mistakes pretty quickly from the disconnected, / disinterested parents.
The ones making the mistakes are usually panicked and calling constantly to make sure they can find you, the disconnected
/ disintested ones have attitude and tone in their voice that makes it sound as if "you're lucky we're coming at all".  These parents
a lot of times have no real clue about CAP, nor do they really understand that we're not employees, the sad fact is that
these are many times the cadets that need our help the most, yet just getting them to meetings and activities is a huge
undertaking because of the dramatic personal lives of their parents and family.

It will never cease to amaze me that a parent from out of state, with a 6+ hour drive can be on time, yet one from
the local area shows up late- "rush hour traffic" is another great excuse, as if we haven't had that around here for 40 years.