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Author Topic: Senior/Cadet Dating  (Read 1236 times)
i_am_a_politician
Recruit

Posts: 23

« on: December 14, 2018, 05:44:37 PM »

I’ve recently had a somewhat reasonable shower thought/question that could be answered here.   Say that I am a Senior Member on a dating app and I match with a 20 year old.  However, I have no clue that they are a cadet.  After a few dates I find out they are actually a cadet.

If I understand correctly, that is a Cadet Protection violation even if I stop it there, cadet turns senior, or I take a break from the program right?  Will this be treated any differently than a blatant violation?
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C/2d Lt Politician
arajca
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 4,327

« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2018, 06:05:12 PM »

It is a violation. How it is handled will depend on what happens after the senior finds out. Five scenarios:
A. Cadet decides to turn senior (I turn 21 in three months, I'll just jump early).
B. Senior leaves program.
C. Cadet leaves program.
D. Stop dating.
E. Ignore CPP and keep dating as senior and cadet.

For A, B, C, or D, the issue resolves itself and should not result in actions against either party.

For E, it becomes a major issue and one or both would be kicked out of CAP.
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CAPDepCom
Member

Posts: 55

« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2018, 06:24:12 PM »

I’ve recently had a somewhat reasonable shower thought/question that could be answered here.   Say that I am a Senior Member on a dating app and I match with a 20 year old.  However, I have no clue that they are a cadet.  After a few dates I find out they are actually a cadet.

If I understand correctly, that is a Cadet Protection violation even if I stop it there, cadet turns senior, or I take a break from the program right?  Will this be treated any differently than a blatant violation?

A couple ways you could handle it before it becomes a real life scenario:

1 - Limit your online dating match possibilities to individuals 21 and older

2 - Don't use online dating apps, they are disaster waiting to happen (this is my personal opinion, you can do what you want, of course!)

For reference, here's a link to the most recent policy enhancements re: Senior Member and cadet relations https://www.gocivilairpatrol.com/media/cms/Summary_of_Enhancements_7295928BD7C1F.pdf
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Live2Learn
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 709

« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2018, 10:30:09 PM »

Interesting question.  Cadets age 18 and older can... enlist in any branch of the military.  Be accepted to any military academy.  Be Pilot in Command of an aircraft carrying passengers.  Teach other persons to fly.  Vote in many (most?) states.  Have an abortion in most jursdictions without asking permisson from anyone on this earth. Be tried as an adult in most jurisdictions.  But can't date another adult.  I guess it is a peculiar fact that a CAP regulation can deviate from other rules & law that sensibly presume if a person is old enough to die in service to our Country then they are old enough to... ???  C est la vie!

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SarDragon
Global Moderator

Posts: 10,538
Unit: NAVAIRPAC

« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2018, 10:58:25 PM »

It's been explained several times that the cadet-senior member (C-SM) relationship is equivalent to a student-teacher (S-T) relationship, regardless of age. Dating in a S-T situation is pretty much frowned upon universally, and CAP takes a strict view on it.
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Dave Bowles
Maj, CAP
AT1, USN Retired
Mitchell Award (unnumbered)
C/WO, CAP, Ret
Eclipse
Too Much Free Time Award

Posts: 29,461

« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2018, 11:04:20 PM »

I guess it is a peculiar fact that a CAP regulation can deviate from other rules & law that sensibly presume if a person is old enough to die in service to our Country then they are old enough to... ???  C est la vie!

You mean like purchasing alcohol (Nationally) or tobacco products (6 states and 380 municipalities),
not to mention the scores of school districts and / or schools that prohibit the practice?

Oh, and the military (mentioned above) bans it as well (fraternization)...

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jeders
Global Moderator

Posts: 2,142

« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2018, 11:46:06 PM »

[off-topic response which has been beaten to death and usually results in a topic getting locked]

Let's please keep to the original topic of the post and not swerve off into another "discussion" about the merits of having 18 year old cadets.

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If you are confident in you abilities and experience, whether someone else is impressed is irrelevant. - Eclipse
PHall
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 6,389

« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2018, 12:14:29 AM »

Tick - tock. The clock has started. And I predict that this thread will go as badly as the other cadet dating threads have gone too. ::)
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Eclipse
Too Much Free Time Award

Posts: 29,461

« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2018, 12:20:32 AM »

Tick - tock. The clock has started.

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CAP9907
Global Moderator

Posts: 99

« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2018, 01:11:29 AM »

Tick - tock. The clock has started. And I predict that this thread will go as badly as the other cadet dating threads have gone too. ::)

Hopefully not as discussion of the topic does have merit.

-9907
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19 yrs of service

Our Members Code of Conduct can be found here:   http://captalk.net/index.php?topic=13.0
Eclipse
Too Much Free Time Award

Posts: 29,461

« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2018, 01:14:18 AM »

Hopefully not as discussion of the topic does have merit.

It's decided, so discussing it is irrelevant.

It's very old, tired, long driven road.

Search is your friend if you are interested in the topic.
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CAP9907
Global Moderator

Posts: 99

« Reply #11 on: December 15, 2018, 01:15:15 AM »

Hopefully not as discussion of the topic does have merit.

It's decided, so discussing it is irrelevant.

It's very old, tired, long driven road.

Search is your friend if you are interested in the topic.

Your opinion is noted and appreciated.

-9907
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19 yrs of service

Our Members Code of Conduct can be found here:   http://captalk.net/index.php?topic=13.0
OldGuy
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 532
Unit: TBKS

« Reply #12 on: December 15, 2018, 02:05:54 AM »

I hate hypothetical questions.
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Trenzalorian
Forum Regular

Posts: 113
Unit: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

« Reply #13 on: December 15, 2018, 04:38:12 AM »

I hate hypothetical questions.

I take hypothetical offence that you take offense to hypothetical questions.

Insert thinly veiled passive-aggressive statement here.

Insert snarky outro here.

/thread /s
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Eaker #3363
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lordmonar
Too Much Free Time Award

Posts: 10,665

« Reply #14 on: December 15, 2018, 08:55:59 AM »

Interesting question.  Cadets age 18 and older can... enlist in any branch of the military.  Be accepted to any military academy.  Be Pilot in Command of an aircraft carrying passengers.  Teach other persons to fly.  Vote in many (most?) states.  Have an abortion in most jursdictions without asking permisson from anyone on this earth. Be tried as an adult in most jurisdictions.  But can't date another adult.  I guess it is a peculiar fact that a CAP regulation can deviate from other rules & law that sensibly presume if a person is old enough to die in service to our Country then they are old enough to... ???  C est la vie!
Nope you got it wrong.

Seniors Can 't Date Cadets.

Period.
End of Story.

It is not that the cadet is not mature enough.
It is because the inherent nature of seniors is that we cannot break the Teacher/Student.....Leader/Follower......Boss/Employee......dynamic.

Yes....we call all tell tales of how we know these relationships thrived and caused no problems.
But we also all know of those times where it was not a good situation.  It was not a meeting of two consenting adults....but a prey/predator relationship.

So.....we (CAP) has decided to err on the side of protecting a) our cadets, b) our seniors and c) our organization.

So....CAP has enacted a policy that puts down a bright line between cadets (of any age) and Seniors (of any age).   

If the cadets wants be an adult.  All they got to do is get finger printed, sign a form and send it end.
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PATRICK M. HARRIS, SMSgt, CAP
Pacific Region
i_am_a_politician
Recruit

Posts: 23

« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2018, 09:29:12 AM »

To stay on topic, since I will be turning senior in 9 months, is the chance really that big that I will end up matching with a cadet (considering my low number of matches)?

Love some advice from older members on how best to avoid this accidental “cadating“ (other than not using dating apps because to be fair its not too easy to find someone ya know )
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C/2d Lt Politician
FW
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,183

« Reply #16 on: December 15, 2018, 01:22:32 PM »

Since I'm about as old as you can get...I would opine that this question is basically "moot".  If you live in a large metropolitan area, the chances of being matched with a cadet is small, and if the match is within 25 miles of you, I would suspect the person is already known to you.  If you live in a rural or suburban area, the chances of being matched to an unknown cadet is even smaller.  If you live in Rhode Island, next to impossible....   8)
So, I wouldn't worry about this.  Just enjoy "the process", meet and mingle, and have a great time...
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C:\Users\Fred\Pictures\ribbons.jpg
NIN
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 5,071
Unit: of issue

« Reply #17 on: December 15, 2018, 04:34:23 PM »

OK, guys, we get this thread about every 18-24 months and we wargame the hypothetical death out of it with fairly entrenched folks on either side.

"But what if I meet a young lady who was a cadet for 15 minutes when she was twelve... am I in violation?"

Like the others, I believe we can give this one a rest.

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Darin Ninness, Lt Col, CAP
Sq Bubba, Wing Dude, National Guy
I like to have Difficult Adult Conversations™
The contents of this post are Copyright © 2007-2019 by NIN. All rights are reserved. Specific permission is given to quote this post here on CAP-Talk only.
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