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CAP Talk  |  Cadet Programs  |  Cadet Programs Management & Activities  |  Topic: Cadets Dating
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THRAWN
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,904

« Reply #20 on: December 11, 2018, 01:05:00 PM »

Further to this, consider the times in which CAP exists - not the days gone by
where cadets went home after a meeting and were removed from other members
and various pressures, but one where many cadets are intimately involved in all aspects
of each other's lives thanks to social-media, and even worse, the
hyper-sensitive nature of that same media in which the most minor transgressions and
well-intention-ed mistakes become grounds for the pitchfork mobs.

Which makes preventing, regulating, prohibiting, or frowning upon relationships between members (cadets and SM) even more impossible. It's prohibited by an actual LAW with real consequences in the RM. Doesn't seem to stop it from happening. How do your local schools handle bad break ups? Mine offers a schedule change, but in a lot of cases, the participants are both a part of the same social circles or academic or athletic teams. Can't keep them out of the same airspace at all times. Same with CAP. So what is the answer? CAP is ill equipped to offer relationship counseling or advice (see our relationship with the USAF as an example of why), can't really effectively keep cadets away from each other....In larger units, they could offer a change of assignment (i.e make Suzie the Cadet ES Assistant and Johnny the Cadet Admin Assistant) but that's about it. Much like the real world that CAP is a microcosm of, teens are gonna teen....
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Strup
"Belligerent....at times...."
AFRCC SMC 10-97
NSS ISC 05-00
USAF SOS 2000
USAF ACSC 2011
US NWC 2016
CAPDepCom
Member

Posts: 55

« Reply #21 on: December 11, 2018, 02:16:20 PM »

CAPR 265-2, Page 31-32
https://www.gocivilairpatrol.com/media/cms/P265_002_91CF616EC6FAD.pdf


"SUMMARY
In this case study we saw a cadet struggle with choosing the right person for the job or choosing a
personal friend. In some cases, the friend might also be the right person for the job. But this opens
you up to the appearance of choosing favorites. In other cases, if the friend is not the best person for
the job, this can put a strain on your relationship.

REMOTIVATION
Friendships and dating relationships can confuse our choices in CAP, especially when those close
friends are above or below you in the chain of command. The best choice is always the one that puts
the needs of the squadron ahead of personal desires. "


Page 46:

"OBJECTIVE
The objective of this lesson is for cadets to discuss the hazards of fraternization."


"REMOTIVATION
While Civil Air Patrol does not want to invade the private lives of its members, there are some
relationships that must be prohibited or discouraged for reasons of safety, decorum and unit
efficiency."


Clearly indicates what NHQ considers as the best practice, banned or not.

Further to this, consider the times in which CAP exists - not the days gone by
where cadets went home after a meeting and were removed from other members
and various pressures, but one where many cadets are intimately involved in all aspects
of each other's lives thanks to social-media, and even worse, the
hyper-sensitive nature of that same media in which the most minor transgressions and
well-intention-ed mistakes become grounds for the pitchfork mobs.

None of this is permission for senior members to tell cadets they can't date each other outside of CAP or to take on the role of a parent/family member.  When you think about it, doing so is crossing a boundary and, while not against regulations, it's a real dangerous road to go down.  Be a mentor but don't attempt to parent or replace parents/family by advising on matters not directly related to CAP.  Doing do is unwise and quite unprofessional.  Leave the subject to be dealt with by the chaplains and CDIs through character trait tips/curriculum presented during meetings.
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abdsp51
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,613
Unit: Classified

« Reply #22 on: December 11, 2018, 02:54:17 PM »

CAPR 265-2, Page 31-32
https://www.gocivilairpatrol.com/media/cms/P265_002_91CF616EC6FAD.pdf


"SUMMARY
In this case study we saw a cadet struggle with choosing the right person for the job or choosing a
personal friend. In some cases, the friend might also be the right person for the job. But this opens
you up to the appearance of choosing favorites. In other cases, if the friend is not the best person for
the job, this can put a strain on your relationship.

REMOTIVATION
Friendships and dating relationships can confuse our choices in CAP, especially when those close
friends are above or below you in the chain of command. The best choice is always the one that puts
the needs of the squadron ahead of personal desires. "


Page 46:

"OBJECTIVE
The objective of this lesson is for cadets to discuss the hazards of fraternization."


"REMOTIVATION
While Civil Air Patrol does not want to invade the private lives of its members, there are some
relationships that must be prohibited or discouraged for reasons of safety, decorum and unit
efficiency."


Clearly indicates what NHQ considers as the best practice, banned or not.

Further to this, consider the times in which CAP exists - not the days gone by
where cadets went home after a meeting and were removed from other members
and various pressures, but one where many cadets are intimately involved in all aspects
of each other's lives thanks to social-media, and even worse, the
hyper-sensitive nature of that same media in which the most minor transgressions and
well-intention-ed mistakes become grounds for the pitchfork mobs.

None of this is permission for senior members to tell cadets they can't date each other outside of CAP or to take on the role of a parent/family member.  When you think about it, doing so is crossing a boundary and, while not against regulations, it's a real dangerous road to go down.  Be a mentor but don't attempt to parent or replace parents/family by advising on matters not directly related to CAP.  Doing do is unwise and quite unprofessional.  Leave the subject to be dealt with by the chaplains and CDIs through character trait tips/curriculum presented during meetings.

You've got to be tired of this SJW agenda by now.
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CAPDepCom
Member

Posts: 55

« Reply #23 on: December 11, 2018, 03:03:09 PM »

You've got to be tired of this SJW agenda by now.

Trying to follow the non-sequitur here.  Care to explain and/or elaborate with clarity on what you're trying to say?
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Pace
CAPTalk Moderator
Dark S'Member Lord
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Posts: 762

« Reply #24 on: December 11, 2018, 03:47:27 PM »

I'm about to shut this one down if it spirals anymore. There is a clear difference of opinion here. If we can't agree, then agree to disagree and move on.
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Lt Col, CAP
Former C/Lt Col
Former this & that
Squadron guy
TheSkyHornet
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,689

« Reply #25 on: December 11, 2018, 05:12:09 PM »

Bottom Line:
Suggestions and discouragements are not mandates.

Cadets may date. Seniors can address boundary concerns and internal issues that result from cadet relationships when necessary to benefit the parties involved in their participation in CAP and to protect the privacy of their members.


Examples of when it might be appropriate for seniors to intervene in cadet relationships:
- Cadets are holding hands during an activity that does not warrant physical contact
- Cadets in a known relationship are having frequent semi-private discussions during meetings
- Cadets in a relationship are serving on one another's review board and/or common staff pairings where command authority and professionalism may be jeopardized
- A cadet is sharing personal information or photos of another cadet with others
- An older cadet in a higher staff position is suggesting a junior cadet dates him/her to advance in the program

Examples of when it really isn't my business, as a senior, to intervene:
- Cadets are standing outside after a meeting talking in a polite, professional manner while waiting for their rides home
- Cadets are in a public relationship outside of CAP activities but show no emotional attachments during CAP activities


Really, if there's nothing to say what's occurring inappropriate or unprofessional, and it isn't demonstrated at CAP, it's not my concern.

If there's an issue outside of CAP to where I think inappropriate activities may be occurring which jeopardizes the safety and/or well-being of the persons involved, then I can bring it up.

Honestly, if there's hanky panky going on with cadets outside of CAP, I don't want to know. Leave it at the door. Don't make it my issue by bringing it up at CAP.

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Pace
CAPTalk Moderator
Dark S'Member Lord
*
Posts: 762

« Reply #26 on: December 11, 2018, 06:26:47 PM »

Nice summary. Let's stop while we're ahead. If someone feels there is something else significant to contribute, PM me.
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Lt Col, CAP
Former C/Lt Col
Former this & that
Squadron guy
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CAP Talk  |  Cadet Programs  |  Cadet Programs Management & Activities  |  Topic: Cadets Dating
 


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