Just Announced

[lordmonar]

From my Wing Commander

NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS CIVILIAN AIR PATROL
DDR Section 16
Maxwell Army Air Corps Base
Montgomery Alabama
1 April 2016

TO THE MEMBERS:

As all members of the Civil Air patrol are aware, Drug Demand Reduction is a large focus of what we do as members of this great organization. In the past we have successfully removed high energy drinks and other similar substances from all activities involving cadets. Studies have shown these horrid drinks to be detrimental to the health and well-being of our youth, and we have banned them from the cadet program.
It's time to take the next big step. The complete and total elimination of caffeinated drinks from CAP activities.......
Studies show that caffeine usage to stay awake, tolerate cadets, and put up with higher ranking officers is not a good solution to the problem when counseling and other alternative means are available. The increase in blood pressure from these drinks exceeds the amount needed to actually just deal with the situation. This leads to an increase in heart rate, clogged arteries, and is just a bad thing all the way around. The Spaatz Association is leading the campaign on this effort stating "If we can put up with Senior Members during our Banquet, they should learn to put up with us without caffeine."
Imagine the impact that is has on our youth when Senior Members stop at service stations and convenience stores to load up on coffee. What's more several of these locations sell abominations of coffee that no more resemble coffee than water does! Ordering a $35.00 triple latte double caffeine chocolate with triple cream and sugar and a cherry on top is just nuts. On top of the fact that it demonstrates poor fiscal management. Soda's containing caffeine, coffee, tea, chocolate, High Energy Drinks, and any other form of caffeine is now banned from all CAP activities by all members. There are non-caffeinated versions of these drinks available.
In addition we expect to see a reduction in vehicle maintenance costs as drivers get over their caffeine addition, there should be less shacking of the steering wheel thus reducing the amount of wear on tires. This is expected to also reduce the need for barf bags during long trips.
On line courses such as "Surviving Encampment without coffee", "Driving under the influence of Water", and "How to maintain your cool without caffeine" and "Self Control – Yuban" are available on the e-services Online Training Site as of this morning. Anyone attaining a perfect score will be turned over to the Inspector General for investigation since it will be considered Prima Fascia evidence that you drank caffeinated coffee during the course. Our own Chaplain Corps has agreed to be available to assist members suffering from withdrawal symptoms of this vicious addition, as soon as they have undergone treatment themselves so they can stand to talk to other members again.

Sincerely,

//SIGNED// Major Maxwell Folgers, CAP
DDR Commander

[stillamarine]

  :clap:

[MHC5096]

He has a good sense of humor. 

[SkywalkerRA]

I believe this was an initiative pioneered, in part, by Major Sanka as well?

[Chappie]

Thank goodness that this was a April Fool's joke otherwise I would have lost my Mission Coffee Officer's rating -- which I highly value

[Майор Хаткевич]

Thank goodness that this was a April Fool's joke otherwise I would have lost my Mission Coffee Officer's rating -- which I highly value

You can take our uniforms, our planes, our grade, but for the love of everything CAP Senior Membership stands for, don't touch the coffee!

[Garibaldi]

Thank goodness that this was a April Fool's joke otherwise I would have lost my Mission Coffee Officer's rating -- which I highly value

You can take our uniforms, our planes, our grade, but for the love of everything CAP Senior Membership stands for, don't touch the coffee!

Or donuts.

[Майор Хаткевич]

Thank goodness that this was a April Fool's joke otherwise I would have lost my Mission Coffee Officer's rating -- which I highly value

You can take our uniforms, our planes, our grade, but for the love of everything CAP Senior Membership stands for, don't touch the coffee!

Or donuts.

To be fair...since cutting out sugar, and now my creme...I'm just about ready to give up this coffee.

[Chappie]

Thank goodness that this was a April Fool's joke otherwise I would have lost my Mission Coffee Officer's rating -- which I highly value

You can take our uniforms, our planes, our grade, but for the love of everything CAP Senior Membership stands for, don't touch the coffee!

Darn Straight, Skippy!!!

[Chappie]

Thank goodness that this was a April Fool's joke otherwise I would have lost my Mission Coffee Officer's rating -- which I highly value

You can take our uniforms, our planes, our grade, but for the love of everything CAP Senior Membership stands for, don't touch the coffee!

Or donuts.

To be fair...since cutting out sugar, and now my creme...I'm just about ready to give up this coffee.

What?  How could you defile the sacred cup of java with abhorrent ingredients???   No sugar...no cream...no foo-foo blends...man up and drink it as it was meant to be, black (and not that unleaded stuff either)     

[Майор Хаткевич]

Thank goodness that this was a April Fool's joke otherwise I would have lost my Mission Coffee Officer's rating -- which I highly value

You can take our uniforms, our planes, our grade, but for the love of everything CAP Senior Membership stands for, don't touch the coffee!

Or donuts.

To be fair...since cutting out sugar, and now my creme...I'm just about ready to give up this coffee.

What?   How could you defile the sacred cup of java with abhorrent ingredients???   No sugar...no cream...no foo-foo blends...man up and drink it as it was meant to be, black (and not that unleaded stuff either)     

I'd just rather not. I'll stick to water.

[Eclipse]

I'd just rather not. I'll stick to water.

[Garibaldi]

I'd just rather not. I'll stick to water.

DROWN HIM WITH WATER!!!!

[Майор Хаткевич]

I'd just rather not. I'll stick to water.

DROWN HIM WITH WATER!!!!

He went the way he lived. Stay thirsty my friends.

[Chappie]

I'd just rather not. I'll stick to water.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[Chappie]

I'd just rather not. I'll stick to water.

DROWN HIM WITH WATER!!!!

Looking through the CAPTalk guidelines to see if there was something I may have missed regarding waterboarding those who are responsible for offending posts,

[MHC5096]

Black coffee is the ONLY way to go. I've been drinking it that way for the past 28 years. 

[Chappie]

From my Wing Commander

NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS CIVILIAN AIR PATROL
DDR Section 16
Maxwell Army Air Corps Base
Montgomery Alabama
1 April 2016

TO THE MEMBERS:

As all members of the Civil Air patrol are aware, Drug Demand Reduction is a large focus of what we do as members of this great organization. In the past we have successfully removed high energy drinks and other similar substances from all activities involving cadets. Studies have shown these horrid drinks to be detrimental to the health and well-being of our youth, and we have banned them from the cadet program.
It's time to take the next big step. The complete and total elimination of caffeinated drinks from CAP activities.......
Studies show that caffeine usage to stay awake, tolerate cadets, and put up with higher ranking officers is not a good solution to the problem when counseling and other alternative means are available. The increase in blood pressure from these drinks exceeds the amount needed to actually just deal with the situation. This leads to an increase in heart rate, clogged arteries, and is just a bad thing all the way around. The Spaatz Association is leading the campaign on this effort stating "If we can put up with Senior Members during our Banquet, they should learn to put up with us without caffeine."
Imagine the impact that is has on our youth when Senior Members stop at service stations and convenience stores to load up on coffee. What's more several of these locations sell abominations of coffee that no more resemble coffee than water does! Ordering a $35.00 triple latte double caffeine chocolate with triple cream and sugar and a cherry on top is just nuts. On top of the fact that it demonstrates poor fiscal management. Soda's containing caffeine, coffee, tea, chocolate, High Energy Drinks, and any other form of caffeine is now banned from all CAP activities by all members. There are non-caffeinated versions of these drinks available.
In addition we expect to see a reduction in vehicle maintenance costs as drivers get over their caffeine addition, there should be less shacking of the steering wheel thus reducing the amount of wear on tires. This is expected to also reduce the need for barf bags during long trips.
On line courses such as "Surviving Encampment without coffee", "Driving under the influence of Water", and "How to maintain your cool without caffeine" and "Self Control – Yuban" are available on the e-services Online Training Site as of this morning. Anyone attaining a perfect score will be turned over to the Inspector General for investigation since it will be considered Prima Fascia evidence that you drank caffeinated coffee during the course. Our own Chaplain Corps has agreed to be available to assist members suffering from withdrawal symptoms of this vicious addition, as soon as they have undergone treatment themselves so they can stand to talk to other members again.

Sincerely,

//SIGNED// Major Maxwell Folgers, CAP
DDR Commander

And of course, I will be standing by to assist members suffering from withdrawal symptoms -- as soon as my mandatory stay at the Juan Valdez Coffee Rehabilitation Center has been completed (highly unlikely since a couple of us snuck out late last night, highjacked his mule, and made our way to the nearest AM/PM market for a quick cup/fix).

[Storm Chaser]

I would quit CAP before giving up coffee. It was bad enough giving up the sugar in my coffee.

[Chappie]

I would quit CAP before giving up coffee. It was bad enough giving up the sugar in my coffee.

Sugar in coffee....yuck...that makes it taste like some kind of syrup.