February 27, 2020, 05:09:34 am

How Much Orange is Too Much?

Started by TexasBEAST, March 16, 2015, 02:54:45 am

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At a NASAR FUNSAR course I attended last spring, I wore a generic orange SAR T-shirt and my 20-plus-year-old CAP BDU trousers. To complete the look, I had my orange Boonie, an orange patrol pack, and a pair of orange trekking poles. And I even sported some orange boxers, just because they made me feel that much cooler...

Well, the FUNSAR curriculum requires peeps to set up a field expedient shelter to sleep in one night. We made camp in the afternoon, had dinner, and then continued with some night searching.

During the night activities, I encountered some thorny vines and what-not, but I didn't think much of them.

By the time we hit the sack around 0100 hours, I was thoroughly tired and sore, so I plopped down into my hooch with reckless abandon. Big mistake, for I heard a little rip and tear action going on, in the process.

But at the same time, I was so exhausted, I really didn't care all that much, so I just bundled up tightly and slept soundly.

Next morning, as I climbed out of bed, I realized that my backside felt awfully breezy. I reached back there, and my pants were sporting a couple of new improvised exhaust vents, several inches long!

I pulled my giant Ziploc bags of spare clothes out of my pack, and headed to our designated male cathole to prepare to change. (Ours was a coed campsite, and the sun rose real early that morning, so I figured a little discretion was in order while actually changing.)

But not until after I proudly pranced right through the middle of our makeshift campsite, showing off my orange UnderArmours for all to see!

Afterwards, I brought the shredded pants back to our ICP and laid them on top of my orange boonie for a pic, to help illustrate what they looked like earlier that morning. And our Lead Instructor promptly posted the pic to our organization's facebook.

But all mention of thorn bushes and the pants' advanced age had been conveniently forgotten. Instead, said aftermarket air vents were attributed to the MREs that we had eaten for dinner the night before!

We titled the facebook post as "Wilderness Wardrobe Malfunction"!