February 22, 2020, 01:12:31 pm

Coming Out as Transgender (Senior Member)

Started by abbynormaled, August 21, 2019, 03:20:32 pm

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MSG Mac

Abbey

It must have been a difficult decision  to undergo the years of hormone treatments, therapy, and finally the surgery entailed in sexual reassignment. Take the steps necessary to obtain your CAP goals and don't let anyone stop you.
Michael P. McEleney
Lt Col CAP
MSG USA (Retired)
50 Year Member

bd5av8r

What issue? Get them the appropriate unform for them, have them complete level 1 and encourage them to participate the same as anyone else. :)

Greetings from SC!

SciFlyGal

September 11, 2019, 02:18:13 am #22 Last Edit: September 11, 2019, 02:28:20 am by SciFlyGal
Hi there Abby,

You're where I was last summer, transitioning in CAP is totally doable, but you have to be a bit flexible. I came out to my then CC last May, about a month before I started living as a woman full time. He was very supportive, however he was on his way out due to a new job. He sent it up the chain, and the group and wing commanders were supportive. We had a "coming out" in July, I only had one person who gave me any trouble, and he ended up leaving the unit that fall. Since then everyone's been great, it was a little awkward at first, and they still misgender me a lot, but a lot has to do with the uniforms being fairly unisex, plus I had been appearing as a guy for two years to most of them, none of it is malicious.

A note about the uniform waiver from CAPP 1-10, for me it just went off into the ether and I never heard about it again. I am lucky that I live in a state where changing the gender marker on your DL is just a doctors note. You have to show a new ID for them to change it in the system. One issue is that CAPP 1-10 just says "medical documentation " or something to that effect, they really should just a have an official form.

Feel free to DM me with any questions.

TheSkyHornet

Quote from: SciFlyGal on September 11, 2019, 02:18:13 am
They still misgender me a lot, but a lot has to do with the uniforms being fairly unisex, plus I had been appearing as a guy for two years to most of them, none of it is malicious.


This was my point in another similar discussion.

Anticipate that you're going to run into people who just don't know/aren't aware. It's not ill-intended, but it's going to happen. If you're more masculine-looking, even if you're a female, you're going to get called "Sir" from time to time. The reverse can also occur.


As for the matter of a Commander saying "I'm not going to deal with this," that's problematic. That's what Commanders signed up for--dealing with their people's issues, for better or worse. You have to take your personal opinions and emotions out of it. Run off the regulations and guidance, and do what you can to support the mission (the mission includes taking care of the people who execute).


SciFlyGal

Which uniform you use matters as well. The OP didn't mention what type of transition they were doing, so I can only really mention my experience transitioning from male to female. Earlier this year I went to a region conference, and wearing a skirt with my aviator shirt pretty much eliminated all misgendering. I'd wear it more (I actually look pretty good in it) but it requires pantyhose which constitute a form of torture. Furthermore, skirts are impractical in an airplane. This does have an annoying side effect where if I'm at a SAREX, I can have half the room gendering me as male, and half the room gendering me as female.

A lot of this will vary based on whether your needs are more physical, or social.

abbynormaled

I'm transitioning MtF. I'm out publicly since my original post, and full-time presenting as a woman everywhere except at CAP for the moment. I have an appointment with a healthcare provider next week to get my CAPP 1-10 letter to send up the chain. Here's hoping it doesn't take too long in the CAP bureaucratic channels [ <--- couldn't do that with a straight face ].

TheSkyHornet

My recommendation is don't poke the bear and start name-calling.

The "CAP bureaucrats" are on this forum; although, I assume there's enough integrity going around at NHQ to follow process and not inject opinion too much.

abbynormaled

Quote from: TheSkyHornet on September 11, 2019, 08:43:36 pm
My recommendation is don't poke the bear and start name-calling.

The "CAP bureaucrats" are on this forum; although, I assume there's enough integrity going around at NHQ to follow process and not inject opinion too much.
I'm not sure where the name calling came in. A bureaucratic channel is, by definition, "relating to the business of running an organization, or government."

That things often move very slowly through those channels was my point. We have an officer waiting 7 months with completed paperwork for his CDI to go through...

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


HighEagles

There is what the 10-1 says, and that is the policy.

But there is a huge Moral and Integrity issue with this, that i think should not be dismissed, in any discussion.

jeders

Quote from: HighEagles on November 24, 2019, 06:35:58 pm
There is what the 10-1 says, and that is the policy.

But there is a huge Moral and Integrity issue with this, that i think should not be dismissed, in any discussion.


While I'm sure you felt you were adding something to a thread that had already peacefully died two months ago, I think we'll go ahead and call it. If anyone has anything of substance to add to this discussion, please let one of the mods know.
If you are confident in you abilities and experience, whether someone else is impressed is irrelevant. - Eclipse