Neil Armstrong Essay

[Flying4Him18]

I am preparing for my Neil Armstrong essay, "Explain why America's aerospace power is vital to commerce, science or national security." Advice and constructive criticism is highly appreciated!



American Aerospace: It's Significance to Commerce, Science, and National Security.

It's 1944 and the U.S. is fighting WW2. The American aerospace program is sky-rocketing. However, people around the world are debating the mass-destruction caused by aircraft. Amid cries attacking it's aerospace advances, the U.S. continued to maintain it's nation's defense as a top priority. Besides providing national security,  America gained priceless scientific knowledge of atomic energy, and commerce in aerospace grew enormously. Today, the argument is just as real. People believe that earth would be a healthier, safer, place by eliminating aerospace programs but fail to realize the importance of aerospace in providing a progressive world. The significance of aerospace in national security, commerce, and science did not end with WW2. As a matter of fact, the role aerospace plays is so vital that it affects Americans every day.

   It's no wonder that national security through aerospace is essential to the survival of our nation. From satellites providing communications, to UAVs conducting reconnaissance missions; we truly have a diverse and indispensable aerospace defense network. By taking warfare to the skies we limit close combat and demoralizing conditions on the ground, preserving the lives of numerous American soldiers. Protecting our nation through American aerospace is vital to our security.     

Commerce in the realm of aerospace has an equally significant role. In our state of Alabama alone, aerospace has been a source of commerce for over 100 years with over 400 companies employing 83,000 people in both aerospace and defense[1]. The unparalleled determination planted by the pioneers of the past, now bloom into an aerospace industry that provides futures for hundreds of thousand. Because of their sacrifice, our nation employs over 500,000 workers in aerospace science and technical jobs and supports more than 700,000 jobs in related fields[2]. The importance of commerce through aerospace is seen every day in its ability to create futures for its citizens.

   Moreover, the scientific discoveries made in aerospace are just as crucial. For example, the design of the Ventricle Assist Device, a life-saving artificial heart pump, was based on the fuel pumps of rocket engines[3]. Another example is temper foam, which was originally designed to improve crash protection for airliners, now is used in safety equipment, civilian aircraft and prosthesis for animals and humans[3]. Each day, scientific discoveries made in aerospace are saving and enhancing the lives of people around the globe.

   As you can see, the power of American aerospace is critical to commerce, science, and national security because it protects and strengthens the lives of American citizens every day. The challenges we face in aerospace are minuscule compared to the abundance of production, protection, and well-being it's citizens enjoy as a result of the aerospace program. And just as the pioneers of WW2 recognized the significance of American aerospace power, let us also gain a deeper appreciation for one of our country's greatest industries; Aerospace.                              



         Works Cited
[1] "Alabama Aerospace and Defense Industries." Made in Alabama.
   Alabama Department of Commerce. "n.d." Web. 13 January 2016.
[2] "The Aerospace Industry in the United States." The Aerospace Industry in the United States.       SelectUSA. "n.d." Web. 13 January 2016.
[3] Lockney, Dan. "NASA Technologies Benefit Our Lives." NASA Technologies Benefit Our       Lives. NASA. "n.d." Web. 13 January 2016.   



Thank you for your assistance!

[SM]

First, you need to go back to the requirement.  It says "or" not and...  Choose how Aerospace power was vital to one of the areas and focus on that.  Watch your use of abbreviations.  For example, spell out WW2 as World War II.  Watch your use of commas.  Strangely, there seems to be too many.  Don't waste space and words restating things... you have 500 words to get your point across, use them well.


Also, I would suggest you consider using the DDR Speech Contest as your speech requirement.  There could be  a cash prize in it for you!!

Also, take a look at the critique forms that will be used to grade your essay.
http://www.capmembers.com/media/cms/Essay_and_Speech_Critique_5958F3F065BFE.pdf

I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to PM me if you need more assistance.

[SarDragon]

You also need to bone up on its vs. it's.

its = possessive, belonging to it

it's = contraction of it is

If you think you need to use it's, mentally replace it with it is, and see if it sounds right. As examples:

It's Significance to Commerce, Science, and National Security. Now read it as  It is Significance to Commerce, Science, and National Security. Does that sound right? Nope. Therefore, ditch the apostrophe, to give you,  Its Significance to Commerce, Science, and National Security.

It's 1944 and the U.S. is fighting WW2. Read as, It is 1944 and the U.S. is fighting WW2. That one's OK.

Amid cries attacking it's aerospace advances, the U.S. continued to maintain it's nation's defense as a top priority. Let's try this as, Amid cries attacking it is aerospace advances, the U.S. continued to maintain it is nation's defense as a top priority. Nope. No longer makes sense. Ditch the apostrophes.

There are two more instances of it's, one correct, one not. I'll leave as your exercise to figure out which is which. The two instances of its are correct.