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CAP Talk  |  Cadet Programs  |  Cadet Programs Management & Activities  |  Topic: Achievement 8 Essay - The Difference Between Leadership and Followership
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Author Topic: Achievement 8 Essay - The Difference Between Leadership and Followership  (Read 8628 times)
samber14
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« on: October 23, 2013, 07:39:27 PM »

This is my first draft, also I'd like some feedback before I take it in. Also, any criticism would be helpful. I'd like to promote soon and I'm not sure if I exactly "Nailed It"

Followership and Leadership have been basic human traits for as long as we can remember. Followership and Leadership are both important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is both a follower and a leader. Cadets will follow or lead to some degree, but their rank and positions will determine to what extent they will do so.
   A follower is a person who accepts the teachings and ways of another. In C.A.P, being a follower requires maturity and professionalism. It is when you must be highly attentive, observing the way your leader carries out orders and completes tasks. Your leaders are the ones who guide you through learning how to wear your uniform properly or even how to recite the cadet oath.  Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. If you understand the concept of followership, you can initiate your path to leadership.
   A leader is someone who is able to inspire others. As a leader in C.A.P, you must act professional and mature and act as a follower to those higher in command. You guide the followers who look up to you itís your responsibility for they will gain respect through your commands and actions. It is up to you as the leader to motivate your team of followers. They look up to and learn from their leaders, leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. Leaders are to fight for the right decisions and actions to do so you need to inspire those who follow to be in some agreement.
   History shows leaders and followers have always been there itís a basic trait but both can make a change. ďA genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensusĒ (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.).  Martin Luther King was considered a great leader he inspired others to follow him through his speeches and preaching. Followers were motivated for a better tomorrow and a better future. Dr. King was known as a leader through such a tough time, those who got involved were considered followers of his words, but together they fought for their Civil Rights.
       Our words have the ability to inspire others whether we believe it or not. Thereís a reason we strive to become better students or become a Scholar Athlete or become the next Spaatz Cadet, we've always had someone behind us giving us that little motivation whether it was a coach, a teacher, a family member, or even a fellow cadet or senior member.
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coudano
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« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2013, 05:23:37 PM »

Word Count 442, ok.

I think that the prompt is to "Explain the difference between followership and leadership."
You have done what most people do, and tried to define each term.  I'm not really sure that answers the prompt.


Followership and Leadership have been basic human traits for as long as we can remember. Followership and Leadership are both important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is both a follower and a leader. Cadets will follow or lead to some degree, but their rank and positions will determine to what extent they will do so.

I would surmise from this that the next 3 or so paragraphs are going to be about the degrees to which cadets follow or lead based on their rank.  Is that the thesis of the paper you are going for?   --Is that what is following in the next three paragraphs?

Quote
A follower is a person who accepts the teachings and ways of another. In C.A.P, being a follower requires maturity and professionalism. It is when you must be highly attentive, observing the way your leader carries out orders and completes tasks. Your leaders are the ones who guide you through learning how to wear your uniform properly or even how to recite the cadet oath.  Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. If you understand the concept of followership, you can initiate your path to leadership.

Ok, a fairly clean definition of followership, with a transition to a definition of leadership.
I personally dislike the circular definitions of followership "followership is the willingness to follow", but the dictionary doesn't do much better, so I can't hate much for that.  How about followership is the willingness to take direction from (or obey the orders of) a leader?

Quote
A leader is someone who is able to inspire others. As a leader in C.A.P, you must act professional and mature and act as a follower to those higher in command. You guide the followers who look up to you itís your responsibility for they will gain respect through your commands and actions. It is up to you as the leader to motivate your team of followers. They look up to and learn from their leaders, leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. Leaders are to fight for the right decisions and actions to do so you need to inspire those who follow to be in some agreement.

Both of the underlined sentences are run-on sentences.  You could (should) put a period in the middle of each and break them up.

Does someone have to be in higher command, to be a leader?

You are using the word "you" here a lot, which I personally don't care for, but whether you can or not varies.
What you shouldn't do is switch between direct and passive, like you do in the last sentence.  Pick one or the other and go with it.
That last sentence is also a little redundant, right?  Didn't you already mention inspiration above?


Quote
History shows leaders and followers have always been there itís a basic trait but both can make a change. ďA genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensusĒ (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.).  Martin Luther King was considered a great leader he inspired others to follow him through his speeches and preaching. Followers were motivated for a better tomorrow and a better future. Dr. King was known as a leader through such a tough time, those who got involved were considered followers of his words, but together they fought for their Civil Rights.

The underlined sentence needs something.   Comma, semicolon, broken into 2 sentences...  something.

Is there a difference between a better tomorrow and a better future?  Do you need to say both?

When you use "through such a tough time" I tend to look for a reference to that word such.  You haven't described the tough times he lead through here.  I'd just say that he led through tough times.

Also I think it's fair to say that the followers of Dr King didn't just listen to his words for some feel-good inspiration,
they actually turned that into action, and even accomplished some goals together, right?

I'm not really sure where this third paragraph comes in though.   You gave a definition of leadership, a definition of followership, and now I guess, a historical context/application of both?

Quote
Our words have the ability to inspire others whether we believe it or not. Thereís a reason we strive to become better students or become a Scholar Athlete or become the next Spaatz Cadet, we've always had someone behind us giving us that little motivation whether it was a coach, a teacher, a family member, or even a fellow cadet or senior member.

Sure, true statement.
Can a leader inspire without speaking a word?

Run on sentence again.  You need to break that into two sentences between the underlined words.


Grammatically, you just had a couple of run-on's and some passive/active voice inconsistency.
Easy kills.  Not bad on those terms.


--Now that we're at the end, going back to the first paragraph let's ask ourselves...
1.  Was this paper what we thought it was going to be about, after reading the first paragraph?  "the degrees to which cadets follow or lead based on their rank"

2.  Did this paper answer the assignment?  "Explain the difference between followership and leadership."

3.  What was the main takeaway from this paper?  Was it stated in the conclusion?  Did it match the thesis statement from the introduction?  Did it match the assignment prompt of the essay?



So for my feedback, the answers to those questions are "no".
These are "structure and internal consistency" issues, per the grade sheet.
I'd put it back to you for revision.

Nice start, though.



Try filling out an outline with general ideas, then transferring them into sentences and paragraphs.
The S's under each main idea need to directly support or prove the main idea that they fall under.

INTRO MAIN IDEA:  Essay thesis, assigned prompt, clearly stated
supporting 1:  preview of argument
supporting 2:  preview of argument
supporting 3:  preview of argument

DIFF b/w L&F #1 (main idea): 
s1:
s2:
s3:

DIFF b/w L&F #2 (main idea):
s1:
s2:
s3:

DIFF b/w L&F #3 (main idea):
s1:
s2:
s3:

CONCLUSION:  Restate thesis
emphasize most important point
make a final point or witty quote
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2013, 05:45:22 AM »

Your essay sounded ALOT like mine.. same exact phrases...
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SarDragon
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« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2013, 07:14:01 AM »

Your essay sounded ALOT like mine.. same exact phrases...

I hope you didn't use alot in your essay. It's not a word. It's either a lot (noun phrase), or allot (verb). This is something a spell checker will catch.
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Dave Bowles
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« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2013, 03:54:00 PM »

CAPTALK is not the place to "test" your Essay. 
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Michael P. McEleney
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jimmydeanno
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« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2013, 07:23:59 PM »

More about Alots: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html?m=1
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coudano
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« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2013, 08:32:20 PM »

CAPTALK is not the place to "test" your Essay.

why not?
i think several cadets have gotten some good legitimate feedback here
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2013, 07:07:23 AM »

Did you by any chance read other essays on here? because I feel like you read mine and stole stuff from my essay. You should know that that is plagiarism and that is BAD. The essay should be written ON YOUR OWN. I posted mine about a year ago, and I'm seeing phrases from my essay....
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a2capt
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« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2013, 07:31:25 AM »

Ouch.
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Panache
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« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2013, 08:48:36 AM »

Ouch indeed.  luv2fly92 is right.  Several chunks of the above essay were lifted from the one she posted before.
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Pulsar
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« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2013, 01:54:32 PM »

Ouch indeed.  luv2fly92 is right.  Several chunks of the above essay were lifted from the one she posted before.
:o
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jeders
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« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2013, 01:54:42 PM »

Ouch indeed.  luv2fly92 is right.  Several chunks of the above essay were lifted from the one she posted before.

You know what they say, good writers borrow, great writers steal outright.
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2013, 06:54:12 PM »

What happened to Integrity, excellence, respect? If you can't follow the core values that you learn as an airman you don't deserve to get promoted...
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a2capt
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« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2013, 07:00:22 PM »

Perhaps a bit of inquiry to the Niagara Falls Composite Squadron ...
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2013, 07:11:11 PM »

I'm seeing paragraphs from my essay. Pretty much your entire introduction paragraph was from mine.... how would you feel if I was stealing WORD FOR WORD phrases from your essay.
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MSG Mac
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« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2013, 07:45:00 PM »

You shouldn't be posting your essays on Cap-Talk. Posting leads to plagerism. If you need assistance use local assets to review and critique. You must have friends, teachers, parents who are literate and can help you. Same for the speech.
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Michael P. McEleney
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a2capt
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« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2013, 08:00:03 PM »

That's like saying groceries on the shelf lead to temptation.

There's nothing wrong with soliciting critique.

It's the blatant plagiarism that shouldn't be, not the presence of the content.
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TexasCadet
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« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2013, 08:14:15 PM »

This doesn't seem to be a total copy-and-paste act of plagiarism, but some of the phrases are a little bit...
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Peeka
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« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2013, 09:33:44 PM »

Quote from luv2fly97 circa DEC 2012:

"Followership and Leadership are both important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet will follow or lead to some degree, but their rank and positions will determine to what extent they will do so."

Quote from samber14 circa OCT 2013:

"Followership and Leadership are both important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is both a follower and a leader. Cadets will follow or lead to some degree, but their rank and positions will determine to what extent they will do so."



More than a little bit fishy...
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a2capt
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« Reply #19 on: December 03, 2013, 09:51:34 PM »

Though I will say .. sometimes there are just so many ways to put something.
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CAP Talk  |  Cadet Programs  |  Cadet Programs Management & Activities  |  Topic: Achievement 8 Essay - The Difference Between Leadership and Followership
 


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