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CAP Talk  |  General Discussion  |  Membership  |  Topic: Coming out to your squadron.
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Author Topic: Coming out to your squadron.  (Read 6676 times)
wwiijunky7
Recruit

Posts: 6
Unit: GRL-IL

« on: April 22, 2013, 09:29:52 PM »

So I've told a few good cap friends that I'm gay. But I'm not gonna tell all the cadets but would it be a good idea to let my cc, and my c/cc? I'm the first sergeant, so that's why I don't plan on telling everybody because I don't want younger cadets to disrespect me or what not. I'm 18 if you were wandering.
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Eclipse
Too Much Free Time With Silver Clasp
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Posts: 30,282

« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2013, 09:41:04 PM »

I can't imagine why you think anyone should care.

If it comes up in conversation, be honest at the level you are comfortable.  If it doesn't, no "announcement" is necessary.

With that said, considering you posted this on a public forum, with your email address visible, it's likely a done deal.
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EMT-83
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,902

« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2013, 09:50:47 PM »

PM sent
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That Anonymous Guy
Forum Regular

Posts: 148

« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2013, 10:11:04 PM »

 I'm obviously not in your squadron but to me it doesn't matter and it shouldn't. If you believe that they should know then go ahead and tell them.
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CAP4117
Seasoned Member

Posts: 205

« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2013, 10:23:31 PM »

PM Sent
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Garibaldi
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,323
Unit: SER-GA-045

Sandy Springs Cadet Squadron
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2013, 10:29:04 PM »

Not to sound harsh, but we have an unofficial policy of don't ask, don't care. I've known plenty of gays and straights in CAP and in the real world and truth be told, the straights got in more trouble than the gays. To be honest, I applaud your forthrightness regarding your sexuality.  :clap:

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You can't take the sky from me. Also, I can kill you with my brain. No power in the 'verse can stop me.
Pylon
Administrator

Posts: 5,141
Unit: NER-NH-038

Michael Kieloch, Marketing Communications & PR Leadership
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2013, 10:29:43 PM »

As the above posters have said, it's completely irrelevant to CAP whatever your sexual orientation may be.  Nobody needs to know one way or the other.  It doesn't impact your performance of duties, your ability to be a productive member of CAP, or anything else material in the Cadet Program.  In my opinion, the best course of action is to keep these sorts of personal orientation, desires, or interests out of CAP.
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Michael F. Kieloch, Maj, CAP
Concord Composite Squadron, NH       
SarDragon
Global Moderator

Posts: 10,774
Unit: Smoots

« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2013, 10:32:41 PM »

I'm 18 if you were wandering.

My mind doesn't just wander. It gallops erratically.
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Dave Bowles
Maj, CAP
AT1, USN Retired
Mitchell Award (unnumbered)
C/WO, CAP, Ret
That Anonymous Guy
Forum Regular

Posts: 148

« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2013, 10:58:31 PM »

Not to be tasteless but we're not the Boyscouts and unless it affects your ability to perform your duties (which it doesn't) no one cares unless you want them to.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2013, 10:45:21 AM by That Anonymous Guy » Report to moderator   Logged
Devil Doc
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 856
Unit: MER-NC-162

« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2013, 11:29:11 PM »

As long as you follow the Cadet Protection Policy No Biggie.
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Captain Brandon P. Smith CAP
Former HM3, U.S NAVY
Too many Awards, Achievments and Qualifications to list.

lordmonar
Too Much Free Time Award

Posts: 10,723

« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2013, 11:30:36 PM »

So I've told a few good cap friends that I'm gay. But I'm not gonna tell all the cadets but would it be a good idea to let my cc, and my c/cc? I'm the first sergeant, so that's why I don't plan on telling everybody because I don't want younger cadets to disrespect me or what not. I'm 18 if you were wandering.
Not their buisness.....feel free to tell them if you want....but no reason to tell them either.
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PATRICK M. HARRIS, SMSgt, CAP
mwewing
Member

Posts: 58
Unit: GLR-MI-703

« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2013, 12:45:22 AM »

Like other members have already shared with you, sexual orientation has nothing to do with CAP. Therefore, the decision of who you tell, along with the when and how, is entirely personal.

As with coming out to your other friends and family, reactions will vary with each person. While your sexual orientation shouldn't matter officially, you should think about how coming out might impact your relationships within CAP. Make sure that your coming out process helps you live happier and healthier in the world around you. Telling people just for the sake of being open, may or may not lead you to that goal.

If some of these other cadets are indeed good friends, then it might be beneficial to come out to them. I would not recommend coming out to other cadets just for the sake of coming out, nor would I recommend coming out to your CoC just because of their position.
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Maj. Mark Ewing, CAP
Commander
West Michigan Group (GLR-MI-703)
cap235629
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,251
Unit: SWR-AR-083

« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2013, 02:12:39 AM »

I have found that more often than not when people come "out" the people they are coming out to are like "tell me something we didn't know".  I say it is really a NON issue not worthy of your concern.  Just be yourself and live life to the fullest.  You are a cadet, not a gay cadet, not a straight cadet, a cadet.  I HATE labels.
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Bill Hobbs, Major, CAP
Arkansas Certified Emergency Manager
Tabhair 'om póg, is Éireannach mé
Private Investigator
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,158

« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2013, 04:37:52 AM »

I'm 18 if you were wandering.

So you got CPPT completed? Welcome to CT  :clap:
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Bobble
Forum Regular

Posts: 117

Suffolk Cadet Squadron VII
« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2013, 01:36:07 PM »

Way more than I ever wanted to know.
Way more than I would ever want to know.
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R. Litzke, Capt, CAP
NER-NY-153

"Men WILL wear underpants."
NIN
Administrator

Posts: 5,372
Unit: of issue

« Reply #15 on: April 23, 2013, 04:27:44 PM »

Not to be tasteless but we're not the Boyscouts and unless it affects your ability to perform your duties (which it doesn't) no one cares unless you want them to.

Thats always been sort of my slant.  Whatev's.

Fraternizing during CAP activities is frowned on anyway, so if you wouldn't do something with a member of the opposite sex (holding hands, etc) in uniform and on CAP time, you shouldn't be doing it with a member of the same sex, either, right?

Either way, when its on your time it should be your own business.
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Darin Ninness, Lt Col, CAP
Sq Bubba, Wing Dude, National Guy
I like to have Difficult Adult Conversations™
The contents of this post are Copyright © 2007-2019 by NIN. All rights are reserved. Specific permission is given to quote this post here on CAP-Talk only.
Critical AOA
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 693
Unit: NADO

« Reply #16 on: April 23, 2013, 08:52:17 PM »

Have any of your fellow cadets made a big deal out of being hetero? 
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"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."   - George Bernard Shaw
CAP4117
Seasoned Member

Posts: 205

« Reply #17 on: April 23, 2013, 09:24:09 PM »

I don't think it's a question of making a big deal out of it. I imagine the coming out process is less about making it some kind of issue and more about just knowing that the people around you support you no matter who you are. It's for the cadet's benefit, really. I think it's good that you all are saying it's a non-issue to the squadron. That's probably true. But it is an issue to this cadet, and he/she should be allowed to resolve it and know that CAP is a safe place for him/her.
Just my .02
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J2H
Seasoned Member

Posts: 200
Unit: MER-MD-031

« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2013, 01:03:02 AM »

 If it doesn't affect you or the mission why bother at all
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SSgt Jeffrey Hughes, Squadron NCO
Glenn L. Martin Composite Squadron MD-031
#217169
bflynn
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 748

« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2013, 01:28:28 AM »

and know that CAP is a safe place for him/her.

Is it?  CAP is not required by law to avoid discrimination based on orientation.  We've had this discussion before. 

This is a can of worms you would prefer to avoid opening because it leads to division in the organization.

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CAP Talk  |  General Discussion  |  Membership  |  Topic: Coming out to your squadron.
 


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