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luv2fly97
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« on: November 14, 2012, 07:16:05 AM »

this is my armstrong essay its about 600 words the senior grading this said it would be fine. any comments critisizm feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 The Difference Between Followership and Leadership.

   Followership and leadership are both very important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. All cadets must exhibit good followership, but there is a difference as to how much, as they earn grade and are assigned positions. As cadets progress through the program, they earn more responsibilities and their leaders have higher expectations of them. They will still report to another person in the chain of command; however, they must also be able to transition into leaders. 
   Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. Cadets exhibiting followership should not be afraid to ask for help from their leaders in order to improve themselves. When a follower feels the need to voice differences of opinions, it should be done so respectively.
   In leadership, one should respect the voices, opinions and suggestions of their followers, but ultimately, the decisions are theirs to make.  Good decision making is one of the responsibilities of being a leader.  A cadet in a position of leadership should give out appropriate responsibilities to their followers in an effort to develop them into leaders.
    As cadets are given these opportunities by their leaders, It is essential that they be willing to accept these tasks from their leaders and give their best effort. In doing so, they are setting a good example as a follower by giving the respect to their leaders and following their directions, this encourages other cadets in the squadron to do the same.
Google defines Leadership as the action of leading a group of people, as well as the state of position of being a leader. Cadets that have been trusted with positions in leadership have more responsibilities and are expected to be guiding the actions of their followers. Followers look up to and learn from their leaders and good leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. leaders should possess the skills to motivate within their positions,  this is how they prove that they have earned the right to have the responsibilities of  a leader. These qualities will encourage followers to be loyal to, and respect their leaders.
   As a leader, one should be prepared to be watched closely by their followers. Leaders lead by example, setting a good example for others is essential in being a leader. If a leader is setting a bad example for it's followers, those following may think that the bad behavior is acceptable simply because they saw their leader doing it. This is not an example of effective leadership.
   Both followership and leadership are important in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is a follower  to some degree.  As they gain experience and earn rankings within the program, they will be entrusted with responsibilities of leadership to some degree. As this happens they should remember that the most obvious difference between followership and leadership is the process of learning, motivation, and personal responsibilities. If a cadet understands the role of followership well, they can continue successfully in their own personal journey of becoming a successful leader.
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SarDragon
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« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2012, 07:20:57 AM »

You have an its/it's mistake.
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Dave Bowles
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caphornbuckle
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Posts: 258

« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2012, 08:53:04 AM »


Google defines Leadership as the action of leading a group of people, as well as the state of position of being a leader. Cadets that have been trusted with positions in leadership have more responsibilities and are expected to be guiding the actions of their followers. Followers look up to and learn from their leaders and good leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. leaders should possess the skills to motivate within their positions,  this is how they prove that they have earned the right to have the responsibilities of  a leader. These qualities will encourage followers to be loyal to, and respect their leaders.


Capitalize the "L" in "leaders".  It is the start of a new sentence.  Very good essay!
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Lt Col Samuel L. Hornbuckle, CAP
coudano
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« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2012, 12:45:39 PM »

I have it at 524 words.
When I grade these for my cadets, 501 is unsat.  The criteria calls for 300-500 words.
Usually when cadets exceed the 500 word count, they are fluffing up their body and could convey the same meaning in fewer words, if they try.
However, i'm not grading your paper, so whatevs :)



this is my armstrong essay its about 600 words the senior grading this said it would be fine. any comments critisizm feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 The Difference Between Followership and Leadership.

   Followership and leadership are both very important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. All cadets must exhibit good followership, but there is a difference as to how much, as they earn grade and are assigned positions. As cadets progress through the program, they earn more responsibilities and their leaders have higher expectations of them. They will still report to another person in the chain of command; however, they must also be able to transition into leaders.

nit-picky, but in the context of the paragraph, the word leadership seems more appropriate to me than leaders.  (?)  not the end of the world or anything.

Quote
   Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. Cadets exhibiting followership should not be afraid to ask for help from their leaders in order to improve themselves. When a follower feels the need to voice differences of opinions, it should be done so respectively.

   In leadership, one should respect the voices, opinions and suggestions of their followers, but ultimately, the decisions are theirs to make.  Good decision making is one of the responsibilities of being a leader.  A cadet in a position of leadership should give out appropriate responsibilities to their followers in an effort to develop them into leaders.

ok.  both are self-standing main ideas, and both support the thesis of the paper.

Quote
    As cadets are given these opportunities by their leaders, It is essential that they be willing to accept these tasks from their leaders and give their best effort. In doing so, they are setting a good example as a follower by giving the respect to their leaders and following their directions, this encourages other cadets in the squadron to do the same.

While this is a god point, it doesn't really seem to stand well on its own as a paragraph.

Quote
Google defines Leadership as the action of leading a group of people, as well as the state of position of being a leader. Cadets that have been trusted with positions in leadership have more responsibilities and are expected to be guiding the actions of their followers. Followers look up to and learn from their leaders and good leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. leaders[/l] should possess the skills to motivate within their positions,  this is how they prove that they have earned the right to have the responsibilities of  a leader. These qualities will encourage followers to be loyal to, and respect their leaders.

Capitalize that L at the start of a sentence.

Leaders should possess the skills to motivate within their positions.
This is a whole sentence by itself, it should have a period at the end of it.
That said, I don't know what it means...   it's the "within their positions" part that i'm unclear on (?)

These qualities?  You have only listed one, right?   The skill to motivate within their positions.
So you are sort of doing a circular definition.  Leadership means that you are a leader, and followers look up to you, which makes you a leader.

Don't feel too bad, the dictionary doesn't do a much better job...  This is a deceptively difficult topic to try and write about.

I wasn't able to find a Google dictionary, although it appears that there is one, linked to their translation service (?)
When I pasted your definition into google, the reply that came up first was from the Oxford Dictionary.
Cite sources correctly.
On a side note, don't you just love it when the dictionary defines a word as itsself...   Leadership is:  to lead.
Gee.   Thanks.

Quote
   As a leader, one should be prepared to be watched closely by their followers. Leaders lead by example, setting a good example for others is essential in being a leader. If a leader is setting a bad example for it's followers, those following may think that the bad behavior is acceptable simply because they saw their leader doing it. This is not an example of effective leadership.

Should be its, not it's.
But his or her or their would be better, as there aren't any gender neutral leaders that i'm aware of.

Quote
   Both followership and leadership are important in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is a follower  to some degree.  As they gain experience and earn rankings within the program, they will be entrusted with responsibilities of leadership to some degree. As this happens they should remember that the most obvious difference between followership and leadership is the process of learning, motivation, and personal responsibilities. If a cadet understands the role of followership well, they can continue successfully in their own personal journey of becoming a successful leader.

Ok so I get it, it's just a conclusion paragraph to wrap things up.
However, this point should be body of your essay.  The essay is about the difference between followership and leadership, right?  So this type of point should sort of be the main idea.

That said, i'm not quite sure I agree with it,
do followers not have to learn, be (self) motivated, and have personal responsibilites?
do leaders not have to do those things (?)



Overall, not bad.
I thought you made some good points.  Don't lose those!
However, I would bounce it on internal consistency, and suggest a 5 paragraph essay structured in one of the two ways below (or something like one of the two ways below).  You could consolidate your ideas into a more concise, direct, and effective essay.  This would make your point much clearer, and the essay easier to read.

Introduction
Explain what followership is
Explain what leadership is
Explain the difference
Conclude

Introuduction (including brief descriptions of leadership and followership)
Difference between L&F #1
Difference between L&F #2
Difference between L&F #3
Conclusion
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2012, 05:05:22 AM »

Thanks for all the feedback. I really appreciate it :)
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2012, 07:00:56 AM »

I did some more work on the essay let me know what you think. Sorry about the format it did not paste well.

 The Difference Between Followership and Leadership.
 
 Followership and leadership are both important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. They are similar yet very different some differences include, motivation and responsibilities. Leaders are expected to not only motivate themselves but their followers. As cadets progress through the program and are assigned positions they begin to earn more responsibilities and their leaders have higher expectations of them. They will still report to another person in the chain of command; however, they must still be able to transition into leaders.
   Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. Cadets exhibiting followership should not be afraid to ask for help from their leaders in order to improve themselves. When a follower feels the need to voice differences of opinions, it should be done so respectively.
   In leadership, one should respect the voices, opinions and suggestions of their followers, but ultimately, the decisions are theirs to make.  Good decision making is one of the responsibilities of being a leader.  A cadet in a position of leadership should give out appropriate responsibilities to their followers in an effort to develop them into leaders.
         As cadets are given these opportunities by their leaders, It is essential that they be willing to accept these tasks from their leaders and give their best effort. In doing so, they are setting a good example as a follower by giving the respect to their leaders and following their directions, this encourages other cadets in the squadron to do the same.
The oxford dictionary describes Leadership as the action of leading a group of people, as well as the state of position of being a leader. Cadets that have been trusted with positions in leadership have more responsibilities and are expected to be guiding the actions of their followers. Followers look up to and learn from their leaders and good leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. Leaders should possess the skills to motivate within their positions,  this is how they prove that they have earned the right to have the responsibilities of  a leader. These qualities will encourage followers to be loyal to, and  respect their leaders.
   As a leader, one should be prepared to be watched closely by their followers. Leaders lead by example, setting a good example for others is essential. If a leader is setting a bad example for their followers, those following may think that the bad behavior is acceptable simply because they saw their leader doing it. This is not an example of effective leadership.
   Both followership and leadership are important in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is a follower to some degree.  As they gain experience and earn rankings within the program, they will be entrusted with responsibilities of leadership to some degree. As this happens they should remember that the most obvious difference between followership and leadership is the process of learning, motivation,and personal responsibilities. It is the act of becoming prepared to be a leader in order to guide the actions of others that make them a good leader. If a cadet understands the role of followership well, they can continue successfully in their own personal journey of becoming a successful leader.
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Garibaldi
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« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2012, 07:14:13 AM »

I did some more work on the essay let me know what you think. Sorry about the format it did not paste well.

 The Difference Between Followership and Leadership.
 
 Followership and Leadership are both important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. They are similar yet very different, and a couple of differences include are motivation and responsibilities. Leaders are expected to not only motivate themselves but their followers. As cadets progress through the program and are assigned positions they begin to earn more responsibilitiesy and their leaders have higher expectations of them. They will still report to another person in the chain of command; however, they must still be able to transition into leaders.
   Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. Cadets exhibiting followership should not be afraid to ask for help from their leaders in order to improve themselves. When a follower feels the need to voice differences of opinions, it should be done so respectively.
   In leadership, one should respect the voices, opinions and suggestions of their followers, but ultimately, the decisions are theirs to make.  Good decision making is one of the responsibilities of being a leader.  A cadet in a position of leadership should give out appropriate responsibilities to their followers in an effort to develop them into leaders.
         As cadets are given these opportunities by their leaders, Iit is essential that they be willing to accept these tasks from their leaders and give their best effort. In doing so, they are setting a good example as a follower by giving the respect to their leaders and following their directions. This encourages other cadets in the squadron to do the same.
The Oxford Dictionary describes leadership as the action of leading a group of people, as well as the state of position of being a leader. Cadets that have been trusted with positions in leadership have more responsibilities and are expected to be guidingguide the actions of their followers. Followers look up to and learn from their leaders, and good leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. Leaders should possess the skills to motivate within their positions;this is how they prove that they have earned the right to have the responsibilities of a leader. These qualities will encourage followers to be loyal to, and respect their leaders.
   As a leader, one should be prepared to be watched closely by their followers. Leaders lead by example; setting a good example for others is essential. If a leader is setting a bad example for their followers, those following may think that the bad behavior is acceptable simply because they saw their leader doing it. This is not an example of effective leadership.
   Both followership and leadership are important in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is a follower to some degree.  As they gain experience and earn rankings within the program, they will be entrusted with responsibilities of leadership to some degree. As this happens they should remember that the most obvious difference between followership and leadership is the process of learning, motivation,and personal responsibilities. It is the act of becoming prepared to be a leader in order to guide the actions of others that make them a good leader. If a cadet understands the role of followership well, they can continue successfully in their own personal journey of becoming a successful leader.

Changes I recommend are in bold. Good work.
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2012, 07:48:34 AM »

Thank You i really appreciate this.
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2012, 04:50:10 AM »

I turned in the essay and he told me it was un readable but i can't figure out how.
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Eclipse
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« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2012, 04:52:54 AM »

I turned in the essay and he told me it was un readable but i can't figure out how.

From a content perspective or he can't open it? 
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Extremepredjudice
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« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2012, 07:16:55 AM »

I turned in the essay and he told me it was un readable but i can't figure out how.

From a content perspective or he can't open it?
English. Not even once.
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Garibaldi
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« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2012, 08:18:10 AM »

I turned in the essay and he told me it was un readable but i can't figure out how.

From a content perspective or he can't open it?
English. Not even once.

I'm guessing formatting or something, or maybe a file format nothing recognizes. Like MS Works.
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mccscadet
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« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2012, 08:38:47 AM »

I turned in the essay and he told me it was un readable but i can't figure out how.

From a content perspective or he can't open it?
English. Not even once.

Proper use of a past participle isn't normal, but on English it is.
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2012, 04:59:11 PM »

The content. He said he couldnt read the essay because it didnt ''flow'' right.
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2012, 05:15:04 PM »

Ok i did more work let me know what you think and if its "readable"

sorry about the format it did not paste well.

 The Difference Between Followership and Leadership.
 
    Followership and Leadership are both important aspects for cadets in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet will follow or lead to some degree, but their rank and positions will determine to what extent they will do so.  Some differences are how motivation, responsibilities and respect are each applied to cadets roles. For example, leaders are expected to not only motivate themselves, but also their followers.
   Respect plays a very important role in Civil Air Patrol. For example, when a follower feels the need to voice a difference in opinion, it should be done so respectively. Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. This exhibits respect to their superiors. Cadets exhibiting followership should not be afraid to ask for help from their superiors. In Leadership, one should respect the voices, opinions and suggestions of their followers, but ultimately, the decisions are theirs to make. 
   Decision making is another responsibilities of being a leader.  A cadet in a position of leadership should give out appropriate responsibilities to their followers in an effort to develop them into leaders. Likewise, in regards to Followership, as cadets are given these opportunities by their leaders, it is essential that they be willing to accept these tasks from their leaders and give their best effort. In doing so, they are setting a good example as a follower by giving the respect to their leaders and following their directions. This encourages other cadets in the squadron to do the same.
   The Oxford Dictionary describes leadership as the action of leading a group of people, as well as the state of position of being a leader. Cadets that have been trusted with positions in leadership have more responsibilities and are expected to guide the actions of their followers. It is up to the leader to motivate their team of followers. They look up to and learn from their leaders, leaders do not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others. Leaders should possess the skills to motivate within their positions,  this is how they prove they have earned the right to have the responsibilities of a leader that include setting goals for the team, encouraging the team to work together, and make decisions for the team. These qualities will encourage followers to be loyal to, and respect their leaders.
   Both followership and leadership are important in Civil Air Patrol. Each cadet is a follower to some degree.  As they gain experience and earn rankings within the program, they will be entrusted with responsibilities of leadership to some degree. As this happens they should remember that the most obvious difference between followership and leadership is the process of learning, motivation,and personal responsibilities. It is the act of becoming prepared to be a leader in order to guide the actions of others that make them a good leader. If a cadet understands the role of followership well, they can continue successfully in their own personal journey of becoming a successful leader.
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Pylon
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Michael Kieloch, Marketing Communications & PR Leadership
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2012, 06:11:40 PM »

Good improvements on your first edit.

My suggestions are in red (and mostly for grammar and flow and some for a little clarity).  I recommended removing some phrases which I didn't think added any additional facts or points to your argument and tried only altering words which did not change your intent or message behind the words.

I think there are some organizational and thought-flow issues with the article (in other words, i think your points might be able to be organized in a different, more effective manner) but that's difficult to show on an edit here.  I'll compose my thoughts on reorganizing and share those later.

The Difference Between Followership and Leadership.
 
    Followership and leadership are both important skills for cadets in Civil Air Patrol to learn.  Each cadet will follow and lead to some degree, but their grade and duty assignment will determine to what extent they will do each. Some differences are how Motivation, responsibilities and respect are each applied towill vary in different cadets roles.  [paragraph break here]

For example, leaders are expected to not only motivate themselves, but also their followers.  Respect similarly plays a very important role in Civil Air Patrol. For example, when a follower feels the need to voice a difference in opinion, it should be done so respectivelyrespectfully.

Followership can be defined as the willingness to follow a leader, to work effectively as a team member, and exhibit loyalty to the leaders. This exhibits respect to their superiors. Cadets exhibiting followership should not be afraid to ask for help from their superiors. In Leadership,Similarly as a leader one should respect the voices, opinions, and suggestions of their followers, buteven though ultimately, the decisions are theirs to make. 

Decision making is another responsibilitiesresponsibility of being a leader.  A cadet in a position of leadership should give outdelegate appropriate responsibilities to their followers in an effort to develop them into leaders. Likewise, in regards to Ffollowership, as cadets are given these opportunities by their leaders,to lead it is essential that they be willing to accept these tasks from their leaders and give their best effort. InBy doing so, they are setting a good example as a follower by giving the respect to their leaders and following their directions. This encourages other cadets in the squadron to do the same.

The Oxford Dictionary describes leadership as the action of leading a group of people, as well as the state of position of being a leader. Cadets thatwho have been trusted with leadership positions in leadership have more responsibilities and are expected to guide the actions of their followers. It is up to the leader to motivate their team of followers. TheyFollowers look up to and learn from their leaders.  Leaders doshould not command their followers in a disrespectful manner, nor do they flaunt their authority over others.  Leaders should possess the skills to motivate within their positions,  Showing these qualities is how theyleaders prove they have earned the right to have the responsibilities of a leader thatwhich include setting goals for the team, encouraging the team to work together, and makemaking decisions for the team.  Demonstrating good leadership qualities will encourage followers to be loyal to, and respect their leaders.

Both followership and leadership are therefore important in Civil Air Patrol.  Each cadet is a follower and leader to some degree.  As they gain experience and earn rankingsgrade within the program, they will be entrusted with more leadership responsibilities of leadership to some degree. As this happens they should remember that the most obvious differencetransitioning between followership and leadership is the a process of learning, motivation, and personal responsibilitiesresponsibility. It is the act of becoming prepared to be a leader in order to guide the actions of others that make them a good leaderIf a cadet understands the role of followership well,  By understanding the importance of and the differences between both followership and leadership theycadets can continue successfully grow in their own personal journey of becoming a successful from follower to leader.
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Michael F. Kieloch, Maj, CAP
Concord Composite Squadron, NH       
luv2fly97
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« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2012, 09:06:35 PM »

Thank You this helped me a lot.
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luv2fly97
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« Reply #17 on: February 19, 2013, 07:09:07 AM »

Thank You to everyone who helped me with this I passed my essay last month:D and passed my speech and drill test tonight.
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BHartman007
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« Reply #18 on: February 23, 2013, 04:11:04 AM »

Thank You to everyone who helped me with this I passed my essay last month:D and passed my speech and drill test tonight.
Congratulations.
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