A friend of mine in Sea Cadets said that Cadets dating each other was very prominent in his organization. So that set me to thinking. What about C.A.P.?
I think before anything goes further are you a cadet or a SM?
Quote from: Theodore on April 12, 2016, 12:54:58 AM
A friend of mine in Sea Cadets said that Cadets dating each other was very prominent in his organization. So that set me to thinking. What about C.A.P.?
Didn't you see that whole thing in the cadet handbook?
Strongly discouraged, but not prohibited.
Prohibited between anyone with "senior member" on their ID card and "cadet" on their ID card, regardless of age.
Im a Cadet
Quote from: Eclipse on April 12, 2016, 01:25:11 AM
Strongly discouraged, but not prohibited.
Prohibited between anyone with "senior member" on their ID card and "cadet" on their ID card, regardless of age.
To add to that it can also be a problem if one of the two cadets in question is in a command position while the other cadet is a corps cadet. Now if they can know when to leave their relationship at the door it's not as bad but if they can't differentiate it gets very dicey.
I've seen it work positively for about 3 weeks. Then the girl who'd started dating broke up with her CAP vet boyfriend and left. She signed up, had the gear, and showed promise, then just stopped coming. She's still on the roster too.
Additionally, her new boyfriend is one of my friends, who won't join CAP now because her ex is the first sergeant. It's just a waste.
So all of you are saying the same thing. Its a ripple affect, the affects the whole C.A.P. community.
Dating at work is generally a bad idea, and those relationships that do last are the exception that prove the rule.
In this case "work" = "CAP" which is supposed to be viewed as a more professional situation, even for cadets.
There are 3 or 4 people on this board who have gotten married through CAP in one way or the other, which is great for them.
I personally know of several situations where CAP careers were ended because of "legal" but ill-advised relationships, and that includes
adults who received the "bad choice award with oak leaves".
Quote from: Theodore on April 12, 2016, 03:31:51 PM
So all of you are saying the same thing. Its a ripple affect, the affects the whole C.A.P. community.
Yes.
Quote from: Theodore on April 12, 2016, 03:31:51 PM
So all of you are saying the same thing. Its a ripple affect, the affects the whole C.A.P. community.
Did you read in your Cadet Handbook where it talks about how dating is allowed?
I didnt get a Cadet Handbook
Go to CAPMembers.com, under Cadet Programs, you may be able to download the New Cadet Guide.
I concur with other posts here. Dating in a professional environment is never a good idea. While it is not expressly forbidden, the issues can become very ugly very quickly, for you and all others involved.
I understand. I wont have that issue. Most of the Cadets in my Squadron are guys.
Quote from: Theodore on April 12, 2016, 04:34:42 PM
I understand. I wont have that issue. Most of the Cadets in my Squadron are guys.
So are most (if not all?) units in CAP.
Hey, no judgement. Its 2016.
"Not that there is anything wrong with that"...
Quote from: NIN on April 12, 2016, 06:11:47 PM
Hey, no judgement. Its 2016.
I too had the same though, but chose the high road. >:D
Quote from: Theodore on April 12, 2016, 03:55:05 PM
I didnt get a Cadet Handbook
Note to self: Next meeting, ask every cadet if they have a copy, and if not, distribute one.
Theodore,
Do what you want but keep it professional at CAP. I know that there are 2 couples in my squadron and they come in the door and leave their personal lives outside it. I (as support staff) have no objections to it, but, if it gets out of hand you need to think about what to do to fix it. Think about if you are on a SAR mission and on the same ground team. (Humor me here...) what happens if you two are making googly eyes at each other and miss something or talking over a distant cry for help. Far fetched but my point is you need to keep your personal life outside of CAP and your Professional self in CAP.
Quote from: Starfleet Auxiliary on April 12, 2016, 07:28:42 PM
Quote from: Theodore on April 12, 2016, 03:55:05 PM
I didnt get a Cadet Handbook
Note to self: Next meeting, ask every cadet if they have a copy, and if not, distribute one.
I don't know how far back, but my most recent cadet had a copy come in the mail with the usual books.
As with any professional/semi-professional environment, dating within the organization has the potential to generate drama.
That said, I estimate the odds that two teenagers with mutual interest are going to refrain from dating each other because CAP frowns on it, as similar to those of successfully navigating an asteroid field.
The basic principles are just like at a paid job:
- Keep it outside the workplace
- Not while at the unit meeting place
- Not while in uniform
- This activity (CAP) is not your personal dating service, and don't flirt at work
- No means No, and don't hold attitude about it back at work
- Don't let it impact the unit (No Drama)
I do have had cadets who date outside of CAP, but are completely discreet about it, as I was when I was a cadet (and never dated inside my own chain of command, nor inside my unit). Otherwise, when you violate the above, leadership will step in, because all efforts spent on dealing with drama detract from time available to execute the mission.
To wit:
Just this week I relieved one of my senior C/NCO Flight Sergeants who is being sent back to the ranks (second warning, progressive discipline, counseling by the unit Membership Committee and written letter to be placed in record jacket). I have another cadet who is on a (written) performance improvement plan who we just held an in person counseling board for. The idea is to arrest behavior through progressive discipline, accompanied with the Wingman program element for new cadets, mandatory CPPT training for 18+, and enforcement along the way. From one point of view, a sheer waste of time. From another, hey, perhaps these cadets may have learned the impact of maintaining self control before they get in trouble in paid jobs, later in life.
V/R
Spam
Dont pee in your own yard. At least thats what I was told as a cadet in the late 80s :)
My little brother met his wife when he was 14 in CAP. First and only girl he ever dated, and they have been together since 94. They have 2 daughters now that are old enough to join CAP, though I doubt either will.
She was in another squadron though so that might have helped a little.
Quote from: raivo on April 14, 2016, 12:29:22 AM
As with any professional/semi-professional environment, dating within the organization has the potential to generate drama.
That said, I estimate the odds that two teenagers with mutual interest are going to refrain from dating each other because CAP frowns on it, as similar to those of successfully navigating an asteroid field.
Never tell me the odds!
Quote from: lordmonar on April 18, 2016, 12:29:44 PM
Quote from: raivo on April 14, 2016, 12:29:22 AM
As with any professional/semi-professional environment, dating within the organization has the potential to generate drama.
That said, I estimate the odds that two teenagers with mutual interest are going to refrain from dating each other because CAP frowns on it, as similar to those of successfully navigating an asteroid field.
Never tell me the odds!
Good because C-3PO's 3720 to 1 odds were far off. NASA puts it to about 1 in 1 Billion chance for something (like our 12 probes) to hit an asteroid in our asteroid belt. :)
Quote from: GroundHawg on April 17, 2016, 05:57:38 PM
My little brother met his wife when he was 14 in CAP. First and only girl he ever dated, and they have been together since 94. She was in another squadron though so that might have helped a little.
While still not necessarily a good idea, the ORM was a lot lower in 1994 then it would be today.
With no "social" media or consumer-friendly internet,
if when things went South, you could count on
rarely, if ever, seeing the other person again. The number of people who meet their spouse at 14, and never date
another person, especially today, is again, statistically insignificant.
These days, thanks to TwitSpace, every normal adolescent mistake rises to outrage, and something totally unrelated
to a respective unit can still wreck havoc because everyone has to takes sides, including in a lot of cases, the "adults".
Quote from: GroundHawg on April 17, 2016, 05:57:38 PM
My little brother met his wife when he was 14 in CAP. First and only girl he ever dated, and they have been together since 94. They have 2 daughters now that are old enough to join CAP, though I doubt either will.
She was in another squadron though so that might have helped a little.
I know of a few married couple who met as CAP cadets.
Even know of a couple young Senior/Older Cadet relationships that resulted in marriages, too.