My dilemma...

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

My membership in CAP expires at the end of this month.

This morning I told my wife that and she said "go ahead and renew it."

However, I am having conflicted thoughts on whether I want to, or whether CAP even needs a "Reginald Barclay" (http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Reginald_Barclay) type like me as a member.  I am about as good in social situations as I am at nuclear physics, which is often not good in CAP, and I tend to be bluntly honest (my wife says I'm my own worst critic), which can make you enemies in CAP.  I have a fair bit of knowledge (my promotion board, where I was turned down for promotion to Major, last April, even said I had "a very thorough knowledge of CAP regulations") but am not good at expressing myself verbally - I don't quite stutter, but I come close to stammering.  In fact, it's been suggested that I may have Asperger's Syndrome, though that is VERY hard to diagnose, given that I also have (diagnosed) PTSD.

I am extremely quiet and nonverbal in person, though if you ask me a question you'll get a very direct answer.  I have virtually zero social skills.  Sometimes I honestly wonder how my wife puts up with me, though obviously she does.  She has the patience of Job.

I have had to come to terms with the distinct possibility (if not certainty) that I will never be promoted beyond Captain.  I am not in CAP just for the rank, though I had hoped, like I think most CAP members do, to "go up" the "PD ladder."  When I was younger and first joined CAP, I did have aspirations to command a squadron.  Now I don't, because I believe I would be spectacularly ineffective.  So, effectively, my routes to PD have closed.  I never expected to be a National, Region or Wing commander, though I also never expected that I would hit a wall at Captain.

My physical health has deteriorated over the past couple of years.  I had a physical two weeks ago and the doctor informed me that I have arthritis settling into my hips, and, as I have stated here, the chances are very good that within a year or two I will have to use a cane to walk.  My effectiveness for CAP will be hobbled (pun intended), despite nondiscrimination policies.

I am obviously very critical of some of CAP's policies on CT, especially where uniforms are concerned.  However, despite the way it may come across, the uniform is not the greatest of my concerns.  It is, to me, the most visible of the divisions within CAP, about which I sometimes wonder if they ever can be healed.

There are three main reasons why I joined CAP initially:

1. My lifelong love of aviation
2. To provide a safe environment for kids, to keep them being bullied, which I did not have
3. The connection to the Air Force
4. My interest in Aerospace Education

Now, I strongly question some of those.

1. My lifelong love of aviation remains, though due to my health issues I can probably never be aircrew again.
2. I will always have a heart for the cadets, though how an officer with halting speech can relate to (typically) garrulous teenagers
3. Our connection to the Air Force has grown thinner on many levels, though not on paper WRT AFRCC, 1st AF, etc.
4. As others have posted here, the "third leg" of Aerospace Education is, at best, on life support

I have noticed (and I am not talking about the GOB/GN or butt-kissing here) that the most effective people in CAP, those who make the most positive impact in general, are those who tend to be more gregarious, affable, etc...something I am not.

I could conceivably hang around on the fringes of CAP, knowing I will never be anything more than what I currently am, until I reach retirement age (about three years, given that I have breaks in service), but would that be fair to the organisation?

Yes, as others on here know, I have also been a member of the CGAUX, and enjoyed it, especially the much-better relationship with their parent service, though I have little-to-no-interest in boating itself, and their aviation component (AirAux) is extremely small and limited.  I tried to join the NSCC about 10 years ago, but was rejected due to my disability (apparently they can get by with that).

So, that is my dilemma.  You can call it self-pity, whining, or whatever if you like, but I assure you that to me it is quite real.

[Phil Hirons, Jr.]

One thought (no promises I won't add more)

Have you considered becoming an Air Ops Branch Director and then perhaps PSC / OSC? (or dare I suggest IC)

[JeffDG]

One thought (no promises I won't add more)

Have you considered becoming an Air Ops Branch Director and then perhaps PSC / OSC? (or dare I suggest IC)

For that matter, and I speak as an IC, a good LSC or FASC are worth their weight in gold, and really have almost zero to do with GOBN or anything like that...if you volunteer and do the job, you'll get plenty of respect and admiration from me.

[coudano]

What CAP "needs" is dedicated volunteers who are willing and able to contribute to accomplishing its missions.
If that's you, then don't underbill how much you are needed.

If you enjoy CAP, keep doing it.

If you don't enjoy it, or you think you can get a better return on investment for your time, energy, and money, then go do that.


With regards to disability, i've seen CAP members in wheel chairs, toting oxygen around, and so forth.
If you want to be here, you can be here.  Unless you /CANT/.  But then that's not your choice anymore.

Be an AOBD/FRO.
Provide senior member coverage for squadron activities.

[Eclipse]

All important jobs, but none likely to assist in the promotion issue here unless he's also serving on
staff at an echelon interested in promoting him.

Being an effective ICS staffer is important to missions, but does little for the short-handed Unit CC.

The question remains, do you want to get promoted, or just contribute to the cause in a meaningful way.

Your physical limitations are immaterial in whether you can contribute - there are other echelons, wing, region, and
national activities, all of which need good help, and many which would allow mostly remote involvement. Either
you're carrying a corner or you aren't.  If you are, then you deserve the bump, if you're not, well then it is what it is.

As I have said before, you should consider leaving this "wallflower" nonsense by the curb and start making some noise
either about yourself, or with those who you say are holding you back.  Otherwise it's somewhat disingenuous to
say you don't like to sing your own praises, yet every third or fourth thread the issue comes up.

[JeffDG]

Being an effective ICS staffer is important to missions, but does little for the short-handed Unit CC.

To a certain extent that's true.  But every IC is appointed by the Wing/CC who is also the promoting authority for Major.

Nothing stopping a grateful IC from putting in a good word.  And contributing in a positive way to the ES mission is certainly a demonstration of taking on responsibilities, however YMMV.

[Eclipse]

Being an effective ICS staffer is important to missions, but does little for the short-handed Unit CC.

To a certain extent that's true.  But every IC is appointed by the Wing/CC who is also the promoting authority for Major.

Nothing stopping a grateful IC from putting in a good word.  And contributing in a positive way to the ES mission is certainly a demonstration of taking on responsibilities, however YMMV.

I agree completely, but absent the Wing CC doing it route-1, in this case there's nothing for him to approve.

It's a double-edged sword to some extent.  I've had to deal with more then a few Once-A-Year members.  They
have their pet activity (say an encampment or flight academy) and are either absent or a PITA the rest of the year,
then when "their thing" comes around, they expect immediate response on approvals, forms 5s, promotions, whatever.

Generally I would refer them to ask the activity CC directly to do what they needed, and in some cases
these members transferred to a unit where the activity POC was HQ'ed.  The honest reality is
that I can't, in good conscious, promote or decorate someone who has never performed anything in my
presence, but if someone else up or across the chain sees fit, and they have the power, so be it.

Back to your point, a member who rises up into the "SC" level or higher in a given wing will generally
have little issue getting promoted.  I've seen Wing CC's ask "Why aren't you a 'whatever'?" and do it
while they are sitting there, whether their unit CC likes it or not.

[Panache]

My membership in CAP expires at the end of this month.

This morning I told my wife that and she said "go ahead and renew it."

However, I am having conflicted thoughts on whether I want to, or whether CAP even needs a "Reginald Barclay" (http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Reginald_Barclay) type like me as a member. 

Just remember that Reginald Barclay made O-4 and was responsible for some impressive achievements.

I think it boils down to: will you be happy if you remain in CAP?  If so, renew.  If not, the stress just isn't worth it.

[Mela_007]

Perhaps I have no "right" to speak in this extremely knowledgeable and experienced group as new as I am, but I'm going to throw in my two cents for consideration.  Speaking from my point of view as a soon to be unit CC of a understaffed composite squadron, I would hope your squadron or upper echelons would take the opportunity of drawing from your knowledge and experience.  I understand that serving at the unit level will not necessarily aide in your upward movement, but you can still assist behind the scenes if the more visible/social assignments are not your strength.  Many of the staff positions require a great deal of work, but are mostly behind the scenes and this would help in spreading the work around. 

[Storm Chaser]

Just remember that Reginald Barclay made O-4 and was responsible for some impressive achievements.

It also took him a long, long time to do so. In addition, most of his impressive achievements were only accomplished by taking risks and making bold moves.

[Tim Day]

2. I will always have a heart for the cadets, though how an officer with halting speech can relate to (typically) garrulous teenagers

Since most youth in this age bracket are looking for authenticity I think an officer with halting speech could relate to them (especially the many with challenges themselves) perhaps more effectively than some adults without such impediments.

[Flying Pig]

Over the course of my development as an adult (Im 39 now ) It has been a constant battle with everything I do to be able to force myself to just do things for the fun of it.  If you take away all the peripheral stuff, ribbons, promotions, mean people can you just force yourself to come to a CAP meeting and just be selfish?  Just show up and do what makes it fun.   Even in LE, everything is political, people stabbing each other in the back, nasty downright dysfunctional social interactions in the work place many times.  When I decided I was going to leave CA and take the job in FL it was like suddenly someone flipped a switch in me.  The last couple months I was at my old job, all of that other nonsense just stopped mattering.  I would be in the office and someone would start complaining about this or that, or some other person did this and I just shrugged my shoulders said "Hmmmm  I dunno."  I didnt leave for those reasons, but I did notice that over the years, much of what frustrated me or affected my mood had absolutely NOTHING to do with me or the mission of the unit.

[Chappie]

My rule of thumb has been (as it relates to volunteer work): When it ceases to be fun (by that I mean...a source of joy, sense of fulfillment - both personally and professionally, etc), it's time to move on.   Notice I said it relates to volunteer work....there are other commitments in life that demand sacrifice, dedication, perseverance which demands the time and energy.  Volunteer work is simply that...volunteer.   You can choose whether or not to devote yourself to a certain task, organization, etc. 

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

I thank you - all of you - for your replies.  Some I agree with, some less so - and in the main, the ones that are "less so" come from those who have not, as the saying goes, "walked a mile in my shoes."  Nonetheless, thank you for not flaming me.

I will try to give intelligent responses, though of course some might seem overly blunt and unappreciative.  Please realise I do not intend that.

One thought (no promises I won't add more)

Have you considered becoming an Air Ops Branch Director and then perhaps PSC / OSC? (or dare I suggest IC)

I think that IC is probably out of the question for me, though I will research those other positions.

I should mention that at one time I strongly considered going to seminary, but several pastors I talked to said that they thought that it would not be a good fit for me (the pastorate) because of my personality type, even though I had a fair bit of the requisite theological knowledge.  I say that because back before the position morphed into CDI and some of the requirements changed for the position, a CAP Chaplain (who had many of the same personality quirks as me) and I had a long conversation with my then-pastor about my being an MLO.

For that matter, and I speak as an IC, a good LSC or FASC are worth their weight in gold, and really have almost zero to do with GOBN or anything like that...if you volunteer and do the job, you'll get plenty of respect and admiration from me.

Hold up there, too much alphabet soup (what do you think this is, the CGAUX? ).  FASC would probably be a very bad fit as I am really incompetent with numbers and cannot even balance a chequebook (no kidding; thank God my wife works at a credit union and is a whiz with that sort of thing).  LSC just might turn the trick...even though my current unit's digs are barely enough to hold the junk cast-off stuff equipment we've got, let alone catalogue it.  We've already got a Logistics Officer who is darned good at his job, so that would have to be taken into account as well.

Be an AOBD/FRO.

Provide senior member coverage for squadron activities.

You lot are really giving me brain mush by looking up all these abbreviations, yes?

I was actually a FRO back about 15 years ago...I still have the certificate from the FRO school I attended but I never actually did the job.

I had to do some digging to find out that AOBD was actually what Phil suggested above...my bad.

I have done the "senior member coverage" bit - if you count showing up, keeping an eye on the cadets and making sure no-one got hurt.

The question remains, do you want to get promoted, or just contribute to the cause in a meaningful way.

Sir, I think I already said I have done some hard coming to terms with the distinct possibility that I will never make it beyond Captain.

As I have said before, you should consider leaving this "wallflower" nonsense by the curb and start making some noise either about yourself, or with those who you say are holding you back.  Otherwise it's somewhat disingenuous to say you don't like to sing your own praises, yet every third or fourth thread the issue comes up.

Sir, I think this is an example of "walking a mile in my shoes."  You may think it's nonsense, but it is real life for me.  JeffDG referred me to a wonderful book some months ago by Susan Cain called "Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking."  I highly recommend it.  It is one of the best books in recent years that I have read.

http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/about-the-book/

I really am the guy who, at a social gathering, tries to find the first quiet corner.  I am not horrible talking to people one on one, but as for interaction with a large group...you are entitled to call it "wallflower nonsense" if you like, but again, it's real life for me.

As for promotion...I don't think I said, or inferred, my decision to rejoin CAP (or not) hinged on gold oak leaves.

It's a double-edged sword to some extent.  I've had to deal with more then a few Once-A-Year members.  They have their pet activity (say an encampment or flight academy) and are either absent or a PITA the rest of the year, then when "their thing" comes around, they expect immediate response on approvals, forms 5s, promotions, whatever.

I can categorically state I am not one of those "once-a-year" types, though I unfortunately have as much, if not more, capacity to (unintentionally) be a PITA as any other CAP member.

As for the "immediate response," approvals, etc...I do not expect a response on a promotion issue, because I am not going to submit for promotion again unless someone who knows a hell of a lot more than I do encourages me to.

Just remember that Reginald Barclay made O-4 and was responsible for some impressive achievements.

It also took him a long, long time to do so. In addition, most of his impressive achievements were only accomplished by taking risks and making bold moves.

I have sometimes wondered if somehow I could run a starship with just my brain power...

Perhaps I have no "right" to speak in this extremely knowledgeable and experienced group as new as I am, but I'm going to throw in my two cents for consideration.  Speaking from my point of view as a soon to be unit CC of a understaffed composite squadron, I would hope your squadron or upper echelons would take the opportunity of drawing from your knowledge and experience.  I understand that serving at the unit level will not necessarily aide in your upward movement, but you can still assist behind the scenes if the more visible/social assignments are not your strength.  Many of the staff positions require a great deal of work, but are mostly behind the scenes and this would help in spreading the work around. 

You have every right to speak and I appreciate it.

I have been a staff officer behind-the-scenes and in fact have a Master Rating in Administration.  I just got burned out on doing that, not to mention it's almost becoming redundant since all the forms/manuals are online (I had been doing it since the days of the big blue Indexes, Regulations and Manuals binder).

Since most youth in this age bracket are looking for authenticity I think an officer with halting speech could relate to them (especially the many with challenges themselves) perhaps more effectively than some adults without such impediments.

Well, I can say that WRT "authenticity," I am a poor actor and/or bull[mess]ter so when I do say something, you can very likely bet the bank that it is the "real me" saying it, even though getting in front of groups of people is the "freeze-up" trigger (back when I was in rock bands as a kid, I used to stand back by the amps and tell whoever was running lights not to spotlight me - unusual for a lead guitarist).

I do have to say, without hopefully sounding a braggart, that the kids who become cadets who have been bullied, been outcasts, etc., do somehow seem to gravitate to me.  It's not anything I do consciously.

Again, thank you to ALL.  I asked for help and feedback, and you gave it.  God bless.

[Eclipse]

Expecting extroverts, or at least non-introverts, to read books or otherwise educate themselves
on someone else's problem is just looking for...if not excuses...then "relief" from the burden of
fixing the issue yourself.

The only person who is going to care that being an introvert is holding you back, is YOU. 

You may well be too "baked" to be able to radically alter your personality, but if you
KNOW the reason you're not getting what you want is because of "X", just go Costanza and
do the opposite of what your instincts tell you.  If you step on toes, who cares?   Those people
seem disinclined to care about your experience, so why care about theirs? 

If you leave a wake, at least you'll be remembered.

Also, it's clear you actually >do< care about this, and it seems like you're way up in your head about it.

Change what you can, accept what you can't, and move on.

[Alaric]

My membership in CAP expires at the end of this month.

This morning I told my wife that and she said "go ahead and renew it."

However, I am having conflicted thoughts on whether I want to, or whether CAP even needs a "Reginald Barclay" (http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Reginald_Barclay) type like me as a member.  I am about as good in social situations as I am at nuclear physics, which is often not good in CAP, and I tend to be bluntly honest (my wife says I'm my own worst critic), which can make you enemies in CAP.  I have a fair bit of knowledge (my promotion board, where I was turned down for promotion to Major, last April, even said I had "a very thorough knowledge of CAP regulations") but am not good at expressing myself verbally - I don't quite stutter, but I come close to stammering.  In fact, it's been suggested that I may have Asperger's Syndrome, though that is VERY hard to diagnose, given that I also have (diagnosed) PTSD.

I am extremely quiet and nonverbal in person, though if you ask me a question you'll get a very direct answer.  I have virtually zero social skills.  Sometimes I honestly wonder how my wife puts up with me, though obviously she does.  She has the patience of Job.

I have had to come to terms with the distinct possibility (if not certainty) that I will never be promoted beyond Captain.  I am not in CAP just for the rank, though I had hoped, like I think most CAP members do, to "go up" the "PD ladder."  When I was younger and first joined CAP, I did have aspirations to command a squadron.  Now I don't, because I believe I would be spectacularly ineffective.  So, effectively, my routes to PD have closed.  I never expected to be a National, Region or Wing commander, though I also never expected that I would hit a wall at Captain.

My physical health has deteriorated over the past couple of years.  I had a physical two weeks ago and the doctor informed me that I have arthritis settling into my hips, and, as I have stated here, the chances are very good that within a year or two I will have to use a cane to walk.  My effectiveness for CAP will be hobbled (pun intended), despite nondiscrimination policies.

I am obviously very critical of some of CAP's policies on CT, especially where uniforms are concerned.  However, despite the way it may come across, the uniform is not the greatest of my concerns.  It is, to me, the most visible of the divisions within CAP, about which I sometimes wonder if they ever can be healed.

There are three main reasons why I joined CAP initially:

1. My lifelong love of aviation
2. To provide a safe environment for kids, to keep them being bullied, which I did not have
3. The connection to the Air Force
4. My interest in Aerospace Education

Now, I strongly question some of those.

1. My lifelong love of aviation remains, though due to my health issues I can probably never be aircrew again.
2. I will always have a heart for the cadets, though how an officer with halting speech can relate to (typically) garrulous teenagers
3. Our connection to the Air Force has grown thinner on many levels, though not on paper WRT AFRCC, 1st AF, etc.
4. As others have posted here, the "third leg" of Aerospace Education is, at best, on life support

I have noticed (and I am not talking about the GOB/GN or butt-kissing here) that the most effective people in CAP, those who make the most positive impact in general, are those who tend to be more gregarious, affable, etc...something I am not.

I could conceivably hang around on the fringes of CAP, knowing I will never be anything more than what I currently am, until I reach retirement age (about three years, given that I have breaks in service), but would that be fair to the organisation?

Yes, as others on here know, I have also been a member of the CGAUX, and enjoyed it, especially the much-better relationship with their parent service, though I have little-to-no-interest in boating itself, and their aviation component (AirAux) is extremely small and limited.  I tried to join the NSCC about 10 years ago, but was rejected due to my disability (apparently they can get by with that).

So, that is my dilemma.  You can call it self-pity, whining, or whatever if you like, but I assure you that to me it is quite real.

I have never been accused of being affable, or an extrovert however I have found my place in the world as a Mission Base specialist (LSC, FASC, MSA, MRO, AOBD, and training for MSO {Mission Safety Officer}) for those times I can't work Air Crew; In squadron/group/wing as an Admin/Personnel/PD kind of fella and am current taking ACSC (Air Command and Staff College} online.  The great thing about volunteer organizations is that they need all kinds.  Good luck.

[JacobAnn]

My rule of thumb has been (as it relates to volunteer work): When it ceases to be fun (by that I mean...a source of joy, sense of fulfillment - both personally and professionally, etc), it's time to move on.   Notice I said it relates to volunteer work....there are other commitments in life that demand sacrifice, dedication, perseverance which demands the time and energy.  Volunteer work is simply that...volunteer.   You can choose whether or not to devote yourself to a certain task, organization, etc.

Along similar lines I feel there is both good and bad to everything we do.  If the good outweighs the bad, we find a way to stick with it.  If the bad outweighs the good, it's time to move on.

[NIN]

Guy I worked for years ago used to say "Its important to get the right people on the bus, and in the right seats."

And I've used that analogy in CAP many times as a squadron commander.  Its just that in CAP you don't always have a huge say over "the right people on the bus" part.   Its like the movie Speed: not much opportunity to swap out who is on the bus.

So you have to juggle who is right for what jobs and what positions are appropriate for the skill sets, personalities, availability, physical capability, etc.

Many years ago, when I took over responsibility for encampment at the last minute, a former wing member who had moved further south contacted me about being at encampment that summer. I think he was interested in Safety Officer, even though I had a massive need for tac officers.  I had NO idea who he was, but the week before encampment a long time wing member said "Oh, Richard is coming?  Yah, good luck with that..."

He shows up the night before encampment starts. He's got a disability that requires him to be on crutches and he can't walk far (he mentioned that he didn't get around too hot prior to encampment, but no mention was made of crutches or anything) and he has some other medical issues.  The senior dorm rooms were on the 2nd floor of a building that is not quite 100m away from the admin building and about 150m from the DFAC.  Uh oh, he's not going to do stairs well, and he'll be exhausted before he gets anywhere.

So I paired him up with one of the male TAC officers in the single floor barracks that was less than 25 m from the DFAC, and he did fairly well except for the fact that it took him 3-4 times longer to get from point A to point B.

But every day he was out in the motor pool safety checking the vehicles (20m from the barracks), and then he'd find his way up to our 2nd floor office in the admin bldg after chow and he'd remain in air conditioned comfort,  monitoring the radios and handling random admin questions that came in.  The commandant, the XO and I did any of the "running around" stuff, and we were able to get him via  radio if need be. He'd either find his way down to the DFAC for lunch, or someone would run a meal up to him, and he'd be standing tall for Retreat each night.

It took a little bit of doing, and it didn't fit the traditional "safety officer" role, but we found the "right seat on the bus" for Richard and it worked.

Over the years I've been faced with similar challenges: 

• The former Spaatz cadet who suffered a closed head injury as an adult and wasn't able to do much "running around with the cadets" but was a crackerjack admin officer;
  
• A 70+ year old USAF vet (who'd retired from the AF before I was born!) with bad knees, but a commercial driver's license and a knack for organizing things;
• a 20 year old kid with Aspbergers who missed being a cadet by a year or so, and required a lot of hand-holding, but was super detailed oriented and liked Aerospace.
  
• the school teacher with zero military experience but a hell of an interest in Aerospace, a great grasp of history, and who loved to organize field trips;

There are undoubtedly others over the last 25+ years of my senior existence, but these are just a few examples of "working with what you've got."

[Phil Hirons, Jr.]

Thought Two

The IG program can almost always use  knowledgeable, experienced in multiple CAP areas people.
Inspections are one on one or maybe one on two conversations.
Complaints require a lot of off in a corner work.

[Devil Doc]

Cant join the Sea Cadets because of a Disability? Well Dang there goes my Plan D.

[a2capt]

Complaints require a lot of off in a corner work.

Oh boy do they.

[Private Investigator]

My rule of thumb has been (as it relates to volunteer work): When it ceases to be fun (by that I mean...a source of joy, sense of fulfillment - both personally and professionally, etc), it's time to move on.   Notice I said it relates to volunteer work....there are other commitments in life that demand sacrifice, dedication, perseverance which demands the time and energy.  Volunteer work is simply that...volunteer.   You can choose whether or not to devote yourself to a certain task, organization, etc.

Lots of great advice by everyone but I think the Chaplain nailed it.

You have to have fun and fun varies greatly from each of us.   

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

Cant join the Sea Cadets because of a Disability? Well Dang there goes my Plan D.

I explored the possibility about 10 years ago, during one of my breaks in service from CAP.

I contacted the nearest unit repeatedly and heard nothing back from them.

Finally I contacted their national organisation...one of their higher-ups contacted me and I told him my story (several years in CAP and the CGAUX - to show that I am not unacquainted with maritime environments), warts and all, with my disabilities, via e-mail.  He replied that he did not know if I could be accepted because of my disabilities.  About a week later one of their higher-higher ups phoned me and told me he thought "it would be best if I went back to CAP."  I asked him about my disabilities, if that played into it, and he just repeated the "go back to CAP" mantra.  Again, maybe they're allowed to get away with it since they aren't directly connected to the Navy as we are (on paper) to the AF.

[Garibaldi]

I'm facing a similar dilemma. I've been in as a SM for a number of years and I used to look forward to meetings, even as a cadet, because they were the highlight of my week. FTX that weekend? EVEN BETTER!

Now, I am disheartened. It's nothing I can really define, but lately, it's just become somewhat of a chore. I don't enjoy ES anymore, and somehow the joy I once felt about working with the cadets has evaporated. I feel that I have expended a lot of time and energy for little reward, not that I go trolling for recognition or anything.

Sometimes, I think I have lost sight of just what it is I am doing. I was spoken to, informally, about a complaint made by a cadet about a music choice I made one evening. I agreed that it was inappropriate, but it was at that moment I realized something was wrong, not necessarily with me, but with my perceptions and expectations.

I guess I expect too much. Over-familiarity with the cadets is not a good thing, and while I haven't done anything expressly wrong, it's caused me to re-evaluate just why I am here. I've lost my passion for the program. Maybe it is time to step down and come back later.

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

I'm facing a similar dilemma. I've been in as a SM for a number of years and I used to look forward to meetings, even as a cadet, because they were the highlight of my week. FTX that weekend? EVEN BETTER!

Now, I am disheartened. It's nothing I can really define, but lately, it's just become somewhat of a chore. I don't enjoy ES anymore, and somehow the joy I once felt about working with the cadets has evaporated. I feel that I have expended a lot of time and energy for little reward, not that I go trolling for recognition or anything.

Sometimes, I think I have lost sight of just what it is I am doing. I was spoken to, informally, about a complaint made by a cadet about a music choice I made one evening. I agreed that it was inappropriate, but it was at that moment I realized something was wrong, not necessarily with me, but with my perceptions and expectations.

I guess I expect too much. Over-familiarity with the cadets is not a good thing, and while I haven't done anything expressly wrong, it's caused me to re-evaluate just why I am here. I've lost my passion for the program. Maybe it is time to step down and come back later.

Wow...I'm not the only one.

I've left and returned before...but if I leave this time, it'll be for the last time.

A "music choice?"  What's that to do with anything unless you were playing gangsta rap full of profanity?  After all, in the summer I pull into the parking lot with my windows down, and my car stereo ensures that people in the next county can hear my Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath etc. discs.

Of course, I know how you feel about "recognition"...but that seems to be a dirty word in CAP, as if you're just in it for the bling, which most are not.

[Garibaldi]

I'm facing a similar dilemma. I've been in as a SM for a number of years and I used to look forward to meetings, even as a cadet, because they were the highlight of my week. FTX that weekend? EVEN BETTER!

Now, I am disheartened. It's nothing I can really define, but lately, it's just become somewhat of a chore. I don't enjoy ES anymore, and somehow the joy I once felt about working with the cadets has evaporated. I feel that I have expended a lot of time and energy for little reward, not that I go trolling for recognition or anything.

Sometimes, I think I have lost sight of just what it is I am doing. I was spoken to, informally, about a complaint made by a cadet about a music choice I made one evening. I agreed that it was inappropriate, but it was at that moment I realized something was wrong, not necessarily with me, but with my perceptions and expectations.

I guess I expect too much. Over-familiarity with the cadets is not a good thing, and while I haven't done anything expressly wrong, it's caused me to re-evaluate just why I am here. I've lost my passion for the program. Maybe it is time to step down and come back later.

Wow...I'm not the only one.

I've left and returned before...but if I leave this time, it'll be for the last time.

A "music choice?"  What's that to do with anything unless you were playing gangsta rap full of profanity?  After all, in the summer I pull into the parking lot with my windows down, and my car stereo ensures that people in the next county can hear my Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath etc. discs.

Of course, I know how you feel about "recognition"...but that seems to be a dirty word in CAP, as if you're just in it for the bling, which most are not.

It was an AC/DC song, not Highway to Hell. Someone got their little feelers hurt by it, so I took my lumps, willingly. I take all complaints about my or anyone else's behavior seriously.

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

As a longtime fan I know AC/DC can have some salty lyrics, but depending on the circumstances it shouldn't have become a CAP issue.

The other things you mentioned...now THOSE are significant concerns.

CAP has a schizoid way of looking at member recognition.

They say that the ribbons, promotions, etc., are our way of "getting paid" for a job well done.  However, there are others in the organisation who say that liking those things is "just being in it for the bling."

[Devil Doc]

Ive been known to Rattle and Buzz the hangers with my Boomin System, Maybe a couple times   



She was living in a single room with three other individuals.
One of them was a male and the other two, well, the other two were females.
God only know what they were up to in there.
And furthermore Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them
Habitually smoke marijuana cigarettes...... reefers

Just because I play the Song, dont mean I do the Act.

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

At least CAP can't keep you out because of your favourite style of music, although I would be somewhat reluctant to crank up my classic Judas Priest, Motörhead, Saxon, Rush or Blue Öyster Cult albums in the presence of the National CC.

Iron Maiden would be another story, since their singer, Bruce Dickinson, is a rated airline pilot and flew RAF personnel out of Afghanistan in 2008...a good candidate for RAFVR(T)?

Seriously, I believe I am going to renew.  However, it may be for the last time.  If, in a year's time, I am in the same position I am now, it will be time to say farewell.

Expecting extroverts, or at least non-introverts, to read books or otherwise educate themselves on someone else's problem is just looking for...if not excuses...then "relief" from the burden of fixing the issue yourself.

The only person who is going to care that being an introvert is holding you back, is YOU. 

If you have ever had to manage introverts, doing research on different personality types can make you a more effective manager...unless you're the type of "manager" who just says "change your personality or you're out of here."  I've known those types as well, and usually I pull the eject handle once I notice that.  I remember in my Developmental Psychology class that most of our personality traits are "hard-wired" into us by early childhood.  I have always been an introvert; the real hard work has been accepting that as a valid part of myself, even in a culture that does not value or validate it.

You may well be too "baked" to be able to radically alter your personality, but if you KNOW the reason you're not getting what you want is because of "X", just go Costanza and
do the opposite of what your instincts tell you. 

I have to say that I have never watched an episode of Seinfeld in my life, so that beyond knowing the reference, I have no idea what "going Costanza" means.

If you step on toes, who cares?   Those people seem disinclined to care about your experience, so why care about theirs?  If you leave a wake, at least you'll be remembered.

I have to chuckle at that one a little, because going way back to junior high school parent-teacher conferences, up to employee reviews, I was always a paradox.

Some said that I was the most polite and gentlemanly of sorts, while others said...other things, including a recommendation to my parents that I be put in a reform school.

I have never been afraid to step on toes - sometimes too ready, in fact, if I perceive my back to be to the wall.  I have left jobs with both glowing recommendations and a middle finger on the way out.

It all depends on how I have been treated.  I really try to put the Golden Rule into practice in my life, but I don't let anyone step on me.

Probably the best way I can put it is that I can get along with anyone who wants to get along with me.

[Garibaldi]

I've decided that 20+ years in the program just ain't enough yet. I'm sticking around as there are a few cadets who I want to see grow up in the program. They are doing well enough that they are getting noticed and I want to see their future. It's them I'm here for, not some stick-in-the-mud people. You're always going to offend someone, I guess, no matter how hard you try. Even if I don't stay active, I'll keep sending in the money and renewing, because I believe enough in the program's efficacy.

[SarDragon]

I've decided that 20+ years in the program just ain't enough yet. I'm sticking around as there are a few cadets who I want to see grow up in the program. They are doing well enough that they are getting noticed and I want to see their future. It's them I'm here for, not some stick-in-the-mud people. You're always going to offend someone, I guess, no matter how hard you try. Even if I don't stay active, I'll keep sending in the money and renewing, because I believe enough in the program's efficacy.

Amen. I did "pay, no play" for ten years because of my faith in the overall benefits of CAP.

[Devil Doc]

Membership Renewal Notice

Your membership is due for renewal in 52 day/s.

Click here to renew.


Hmm...  I think I qualify  for Red Service Ribbon? It will be 2 years July 31st.  Soo... 65 Bucks for a Red Service Ribbon, and 6 more hours for the Volunteer Ribbon, so that will be 5 Total Ribbons.

Good thing I dont do CAP for the Ribbons

[Simplex]

It's hard for me to see someone with your experience and interest get sat upon by a promotion board. Was it an actual board where you sat in front of a panel, or an admin board where they reviewed your record without you present? Regardless, there should be some type of an explanation for their decision. Good points bad points, strengths and weaknesses. If not, why not. I can understand your stress level as I've been there myself. All the previous posts have offered excellent advice. I would encourage you to take a second look and see what might suit your needs. Your physical limitations should not be a factor, speech included. This almost smacks of discrimination.  Good luck!

[DoubleSecret]

CAP has a schizoid way of looking at member recognition.

They say that the ribbons, promotions, etc., are our way of "getting paid" for a job well done.  However, there are others in the organisation who say that liking those things is "just being in it for the bling."

I find that very few of the people who level that accusation at others are willing to volunteer to "level down" to plain SMWOG and put their bling where their mouths are.  Funny, that.

In my opinion, if an approval authority roadblocks a promotion but isn't isn't willing to articulate how a candidate is falling short of "performing in an exemplary manner meriting promotion to the grade recommended" or other criteria, that approval authority isn't "performing in an exemplary manner."  Don't hide the ball.  Have the difficult conversation.  If you don't value the member or their contributions, tell them.  And then tell them why. 

[Eclipse]

Don't hide the ball.  Have the difficult conversation.  If you don't value the member or their contributions, tell them.  And then tell them why.

Cyborg can defend himself, but for clarity, they have told him exactly why.   It's been discussed in other threads and includes membership lapses, some
squadron mobility, and a current slow-down in participation.

If I was the one who had to make the decision, I'd be hard-pressed to disagree, based on what I know of the situation.

Whether or not it is "fair" depends a lot on the perspective.

[JeffDG]

In my opinion, if an approval authority roadblocks a promotion but isn't isn't willing to articulate how a candidate is falling short of "performing in an exemplary manner meriting promotion to the grade recommended" or other criteria, that approval authority isn't "performing in an exemplary manner."  Don't hide the ball.  Have the difficult conversation.  If you don't value the member or their contributions, tell them.  And then tell them why.

Picking a nit, it's not the responsibility of the commander to show that the member is not "performing in an exemplary manner", as proving a negative is logically impossible.  In my opinion, the burden is on the member to establish that they are performing in such a manner.

Generally speaking, a status quo does not require a burden of proof.  If a member wants to promote, then it's the member who bears to burden of proof, whatever that may be.  If a commander wants to demote the member, then the commander bears the burden of proof.  Maintaining status quo is not a demotion.

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

It's hard for me to see someone with your experience and interest get sat upon by a promotion board. Was it an actual board where you sat in front of a panel, or an admin board where they reviewed your record without you present?

The first time, I was not present, nor was I asked to be.  I was only given a written statement signed by the CC.

The second time, I was present...because I demanded to be.  I basically took the attitude, since I'd nothing to lose anyway, that "I ain't leavin' till you give me a chance to air my side of it."

It actually turned out relatively positive and there were written recommendations made...but right after that both my wife and I hit a serious wall (as in potentially life-threatening) in terms of health problems and I requested a leave of absence and relief from duty positions.  It's only recently that I have started to ease back into the unit, which of course means that the recommendations made will have to be revised.

Regardless, there should be some type of an explanation for their decision. Good points bad points, strengths and weaknesses. If not, why not. I can understand your stress level as I've been there myself. All the previous posts have offered excellent advice. I would encourage you to take a second look and see what might suit your needs. Your physical limitations should not be a factor, speech included. This almost smacks of discrimination.  Good luck!

I did contact EEO at NHQ, and, without going into too much detail, if the unit would have refused to hear my grievances, I would have gone through with it.

Cyborg can defend himself, but for clarity, they have told him exactly why.   It's been discussed in other threads and includes membership lapses, some squadron mobility, and a current slow-down in participation.

Membership lapses and squadron mobility were, except for a couple of cases, inexorably tied to the fact that I got married and moved around.  The "couple of cases" had to do with personality conflicts.

After all, I was with my first squadron with six years of unbroken service, working my way from SMWOG to Captain and Deputy CC.

If I was the one who had to make the decision, I'd be hard-pressed to disagree, based on what I know of the situation.

That's just it...you only know what I and others have told you.  It is quite different face-to-face.

Whether or not it is "fair" depends a lot on the perspective.

And, without gettting into it with you again, your perspective is incomplete.

Picking a nit, it's not the responsibility of the commander to show that the member is not "performing in an exemplary manner", as proving a negative is logically impossible.  In my opinion, the burden is on the member to establish that they are performing in such a manner.

It is also logically impossible to quantify based on trying to guess the CC's definition of that.  I am not a clairvoyant.  Either tell me what I'm doing right/wrong, or quit screwing around with me and speaking in generalities.  Period.

I have done promotion reviews for cadets in CAP, and I have done employee reviews.  In both cases, I try to enumerate and make things as watertight (in writing) as possible, so the person on the receiving end knows exactly what I have expected, with no guesswork.

Just tell me what you want and expect from me.  It isn't rocket science.  "Exemplary" to one CC may mean "at least s/he keeps her nose clean" to another.

I find that very few of the people who level that accusation at others are willing to volunteer to "level down" to plain SMWOG and put their bling where their mouths are.  Funny, that.

When I rejoined CAP in '09, I asked my unit CC to start me out at SMWOG and let me work my way back up.  However, she got my grade reinstated, and I think it is because at heart she is such a decent person.

Nonetheless, I think it created more problems than it solved.

[Eclipse]

That's just it...you only know what I and others have told you.  It is quite different face-to-face.

That's how it usually is, isn't it?

Reams of text, inexorable detail, multiple PMs, and then someone disagrees with the poster "we don't have the whole story".

You can't expect to have any sort of meaningful internet conversation if no matter the responses, "there's always more detail".

So then why bother?

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

That's just it...you only know what I and others have told you.  It is quite different face-to-face.

That's how it usually is, isn't it?

Reams of text, inexorable detail, multiple PMs, and then someone disagrees with the poster "we don't have the whole story".

You can't expect to have any sort of meaningful internet conversation if no matter the responses, "there's always more detail".

So then why bother?

Only in the sense that, even as detailed as a cyber-conversation may be (and, whether you believe me or not, I have greatly valued your input), it is not possible to really know a person based on those conditions.

I have found in life that "there's (almost) always more detail."

But, really, this is kind of moot since I have, as I have said before, accepted that I will never be promoted beyond Captain.  Acceptance does not mean approval; it is just an acknowledgement of what is, not what I would want.  I am not going to put forth any more requests for promotion, not unless someone else higher up the food chain recommends it.

[Eclipse]

r you believe me or not, I have greatly valued your input), it is not possible to really know a person based on those conditions.

Maybe this is part of the issue, and not just in your situation.

How does "knowing you" change the objective facts?   It might make someone more empathetic, but beyond that does
it change anything?

In all the conversations, you've said you've had some personality conflicts, moved a bit, and then after coming up with a plan,
personal circumstance prevented you from fulfilling what you agreed to (or at least were told was expected).

How is any of this a CAP problem?

At the end of the day, there's 100lbs of dirt that has to be moved from this corner to that corner, and you're either carrying
a shovel or not.  Maybe your piece is buying the shovels, or painting them, or tracking them, but any dirt left in the corner
still has to be moved.

If you can't help at the moment, no harm, no foul, come back when you can, but don't expect to be invited to the
same pizza party as those moving the dirt.

There are 100 ways to be involved, only 20 are at the unit level, the rest are at other echelons, activities,
and many are fully remote, especially those at wings and regions, but instead of pursuing those, you just want to keep saying
you have a "dilemma" and then fall back on "not wanting to toot your own horn".

People change, so you can try and wait them out, or you can takes the steps we've suggested, or "other",
but being angsty about it won't help anyone.

[JeffDG]

Picking a nit, it's not the responsibility of the commander to show that the member is not "performing in an exemplary manner", as proving a negative is logically impossible.  In my opinion, the burden is on the member to establish that they are performing in such a manner.

Just tell me what you want and expect from me.  It isn't rocket science.  "Exemplary" to one CC may mean "at least s/he keeps her nose clean" to another.

You've said multiple times that you're not the type to "toot your own horn", however, it's your responsibility to establish to you commander, your group commander (if applicable) and the Wing Commander that you are performing in an exemplary manner meriting promotion to Major.  Period.  If you don't want to toot your own horn, that's your call, but you cannot suck and blow at the same time.

[lordmonar]

When I was active duty....I had to have this conversation with a number of subordinates.

Bottom line....it is YOUR promotion......if you want it, you got to work for it and you got to make sure your paper work is in order, your boxes are all checked off and any hoops are properly jumped through.

Having said that....a really good supervisor would make sure you get all the help you need to make this happen.  But the responsibility lies at your feet.

Having said that.....you should get some feed back from the board or commander who has denied your promotion....so you can find ways to improve.

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

I did renew, for better or worse.

[Simplex]

Congratulations, I wish you well.

[Alaric]

I did renew, for better or worse.

Mazel Tov

[Shuman 14]

I did renew, for better or worse.

Excellent!

Fight the good fight and keep the faith!

[Brit_in_CAP]

I did renew, for better or worse.

Good, I'm pleased you did!

Like the man (shuman14) said, keep the faith!

[Майор Хаткевич]

m.livescience.com/46295-extroverts-long-term-space-missions.html

Made me think of this topic for some reason.

[mynetdude]

I know this thread is a little old and the OP has decided to renew; kudos to the OP

I don't want to hijack his thread but I feel I somehow relate and understand his experiences (I wouldn't go as far as to walk a mile in his shoes though); your personality gets hardwired as you are born and grow up as a child, but some things just don't change just because of who you are.  For example all my life I've been picked on, bullied (hey that trend still seems to be happening since I got out of school, I thought adults had better respect than kids did and sadly not always).  Kids need to be able to do their thing without incursions that aren't normal (aka bullying).

I think the OP IMO has been trying to say he has made valiant efforts and is worthy of a promotion despite what the promotion board has decided, sure he has had breaks in service, he has a number of disabilities, things change but none of this should affect his ability to promote unless he doesn't meet TIG requirements (Time In Grade); I have made at least 2 or 3 threads not quite like this but some will know what I'm talking about when I got held up for Captain.  I wasn't even planning on becoming Captain, I was HAPPY being a 1st Lt I didn't want to go through all the trouble (all i needed was OBC and a recommendation to the wing CC) I've spent at least 4 1/2 years as a 1st Lt when I was clearly eligible for Captain (and I had a break in service, but because it was LESS THAN 2 years; NHQ basically told me all I needed to do was back pay for the previous year and pay for the next year and no break in service would EVER show on my record for that lapse and so I did so).

I have had three commanders (current and former) who were active at my squadron ALL of them encouraged me to get Captain before one of the 3 commanders deployed to active duty again; the presiding commander didn't feel I deserved a promotion for various reasons to include insubordination but everyone who encouraged me refuted those claims; the wing CC decided that at that point it didn't matter and the Captain grade was only reserved for those who were in leadership or command roles (although that's not what the regulation says).

I have resorted to going introvert because of all the backlash and nonsense; I've learned that the quieter I stay the better the situation gets (even before my promotion) when I come back..  IF I get to come back (those in authority haven't decided yet) I am going to be asking for any kind of work that has nothing to do with working with people directly because this is getting old very fast and soon I won't care if I don't renew because I won't and I'll NEVER EVER come back if that happens.

Just because someone says that someone shouldn't be promoted or doesn't deserve it doesn't mean its true, just based on this thread alone (I haven't gone looking for all the OP's threads) I have to assume and if I were decision making; I'd agree to promote him to Maj assuming he meets all the PD requirements and that he has behaved satisfactorily and has performed duties in a satisfactory manner to reach Major I'd see no problem at all! And even if the OP has proof that he meets all those requirements that still does not guarantee promotion and that is why there is the chain of command echelons and the IG for situations like this JUST based on reading this thread I'd wonder if there's a hint of discrimination against the OP which is clearly a violation of CAP regulations and the Equal Opportunity policy.

I know one thing, I expected to be promoted to Captain WHEN I completed my requirements AFTER all the ENCOURAGEMENT from fellow members and friends whom are in CAP, and I WILL be promoted to Captain (not immediately, I expect a promotion in 6-8 months possibly) if the new commander isn't remotely even interested considering the possibility I will walk into thin air and disappear; I am not going to let my hard work be swept under the rug; will I ever promote to Major? I hope so, but maybe when I get closer to retirement from CAP if/when that happens.

I have some dreams and aspirations, some of them are not realistic but I CAN attune those dreams and aspirations to what IS realistic and I hope the OP does the same. If people don't want to see past your face value then its obviously not worth your time; which is what I'm going to find out tonight they're going to take it or leave it but its going to leave their IT department to major suffering.

Good luck and I hope you excel in everything you do

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

Well, thank you for your kind words.

However, I have reached a level of acceptance (and "acceptance" does not mean "approval") on the matter.

I believe that CAP culture, along with American culture in general, tends to favour extraverts, and no matter how hard I try, I am just never going to be one.

My CC is very much an extravert and is just unable/unwilling (delete where applicable) to relate to someone who is not.

I was bullied a lot as a kid.  One reason I got involved in CAP was to help provide what I did not have - a bully-free environment for young people.

As I said I have reached a level of acceptance regarding promotion.  I know that as long as I am a member of this unit with this commander, who sees things with no shades of grey (and, despite what others on here have said, the "exemplary manner" clause is wide-open to interpretation), I will never meet his standards to be promoted beyond Captain.

However, his term of office is not infinite, nor is it a given that I will always be in this unit, nor is it a given that I will stay in CAP beyond my current term of membership.