My dilemma...

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

My membership in CAP expires at the end of this month.

This morning I told my wife that and she said "go ahead and renew it."

However, I am having conflicted thoughts on whether I want to, or whether CAP even needs a "Reginald Barclay" (http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Reginald_Barclay) type like me as a member.  I am about as good in social situations as I am at nuclear physics, which is often not good in CAP, and I tend to be bluntly honest (my wife says I'm my own worst critic), which can make you enemies in CAP.  I have a fair bit of knowledge (my promotion board, where I was turned down for promotion to Major, last April, even said I had "a very thorough knowledge of CAP regulations") but am not good at expressing myself verbally - I don't quite stutter, but I come close to stammering.  In fact, it's been suggested that I may have Asperger's Syndrome, though that is VERY hard to diagnose, given that I also have (diagnosed) PTSD.

I am extremely quiet and nonverbal in person, though if you ask me a question you'll get a very direct answer.  I have virtually zero social skills.  Sometimes I honestly wonder how my wife puts up with me, though obviously she does.  She has the patience of Job.

I have had to come to terms with the distinct possibility (if not certainty) that I will never be promoted beyond Captain.  I am not in CAP just for the rank, though I had hoped, like I think most CAP members do, to "go up" the "PD ladder."  When I was younger and first joined CAP, I did have aspirations to command a squadron.  Now I don't, because I believe I would be spectacularly ineffective.  So, effectively, my routes to PD have closed.  I never expected to be a National, Region or Wing commander, though I also never expected that I would hit a wall at Captain.

My physical health has deteriorated over the past couple of years.  I had a physical two weeks ago and the doctor informed me that I have arthritis settling into my hips, and, as I have stated here, the chances are very good that within a year or two I will have to use a cane to walk.  My effectiveness for CAP will be hobbled (pun intended), despite nondiscrimination policies.

I am obviously very critical of some of CAP's policies on CT, especially where uniforms are concerned.  However, despite the way it may come across, the uniform is not the greatest of my concerns.  It is, to me, the most visible of the divisions within CAP, about which I sometimes wonder if they ever can be healed.

There are three main reasons why I joined CAP initially:

1. My lifelong love of aviation
2. To provide a safe environment for kids, to keep them being bullied, which I did not have
3. The connection to the Air Force
4. My interest in Aerospace Education

Now, I strongly question some of those.

1. My lifelong love of aviation remains, though due to my health issues I can probably never be aircrew again.
2. I will always have a heart for the cadets, though how an officer with halting speech can relate to (typically) garrulous teenagers
3. Our connection to the Air Force has grown thinner on many levels, though not on paper WRT AFRCC, 1st AF, etc.
4. As others have posted here, the "third leg" of Aerospace Education is, at best, on life support

I have noticed (and I am not talking about the GOB/GN or butt-kissing here) that the most effective people in CAP, those who make the most positive impact in general, are those who tend to be more gregarious, affable, etc...something I am not.

I could conceivably hang around on the fringes of CAP, knowing I will never be anything more than what I currently am, until I reach retirement age (about three years, given that I have breaks in service), but would that be fair to the organisation?

Yes, as others on here know, I have also been a member of the CGAUX, and enjoyed it, especially the much-better relationship with their parent service, though I have little-to-no-interest in boating itself, and their aviation component (AirAux) is extremely small and limited.  I tried to join the NSCC about 10 years ago, but was rejected due to my disability (apparently they can get by with that).

So, that is my dilemma.  You can call it self-pity, whining, or whatever if you like, but I assure you that to me it is quite real.

[Phil Hirons, Jr.]

One thought (no promises I won't add more)

Have you considered becoming an Air Ops Branch Director and then perhaps PSC / OSC? (or dare I suggest IC)

[JeffDG]

One thought (no promises I won't add more)

Have you considered becoming an Air Ops Branch Director and then perhaps PSC / OSC? (or dare I suggest IC)

For that matter, and I speak as an IC, a good LSC or FASC are worth their weight in gold, and really have almost zero to do with GOBN or anything like that...if you volunteer and do the job, you'll get plenty of respect and admiration from me.

[coudano]

What CAP "needs" is dedicated volunteers who are willing and able to contribute to accomplishing its missions.
If that's you, then don't underbill how much you are needed.

If you enjoy CAP, keep doing it.

If you don't enjoy it, or you think you can get a better return on investment for your time, energy, and money, then go do that.


With regards to disability, i've seen CAP members in wheel chairs, toting oxygen around, and so forth.
If you want to be here, you can be here.  Unless you /CANT/.  But then that's not your choice anymore.

Be an AOBD/FRO.
Provide senior member coverage for squadron activities.

[Eclipse]

All important jobs, but none likely to assist in the promotion issue here unless he's also serving on
staff at an echelon interested in promoting him.

Being an effective ICS staffer is important to missions, but does little for the short-handed Unit CC.

The question remains, do you want to get promoted, or just contribute to the cause in a meaningful way.

Your physical limitations are immaterial in whether you can contribute - there are other echelons, wing, region, and
national activities, all of which need good help, and many which would allow mostly remote involvement. Either
you're carrying a corner or you aren't.  If you are, then you deserve the bump, if you're not, well then it is what it is.

As I have said before, you should consider leaving this "wallflower" nonsense by the curb and start making some noise
either about yourself, or with those who you say are holding you back.  Otherwise it's somewhat disingenuous to
say you don't like to sing your own praises, yet every third or fourth thread the issue comes up.

[JeffDG]

Being an effective ICS staffer is important to missions, but does little for the short-handed Unit CC.

To a certain extent that's true.  But every IC is appointed by the Wing/CC who is also the promoting authority for Major.

Nothing stopping a grateful IC from putting in a good word.  And contributing in a positive way to the ES mission is certainly a demonstration of taking on responsibilities, however YMMV.

[Eclipse]

Being an effective ICS staffer is important to missions, but does little for the short-handed Unit CC.

To a certain extent that's true.  But every IC is appointed by the Wing/CC who is also the promoting authority for Major.

Nothing stopping a grateful IC from putting in a good word.  And contributing in a positive way to the ES mission is certainly a demonstration of taking on responsibilities, however YMMV.

I agree completely, but absent the Wing CC doing it route-1, in this case there's nothing for him to approve.

It's a double-edged sword to some extent.  I've had to deal with more then a few Once-A-Year members.  They
have their pet activity (say an encampment or flight academy) and are either absent or a PITA the rest of the year,
then when "their thing" comes around, they expect immediate response on approvals, forms 5s, promotions, whatever.

Generally I would refer them to ask the activity CC directly to do what they needed, and in some cases
these members transferred to a unit where the activity POC was HQ'ed.  The honest reality is
that I can't, in good conscious, promote or decorate someone who has never performed anything in my
presence, but if someone else up or across the chain sees fit, and they have the power, so be it.

Back to your point, a member who rises up into the "SC" level or higher in a given wing will generally
have little issue getting promoted.  I've seen Wing CC's ask "Why aren't you a 'whatever'?" and do it
while they are sitting there, whether their unit CC likes it or not.

[Panache]

My membership in CAP expires at the end of this month.

This morning I told my wife that and she said "go ahead and renew it."

However, I am having conflicted thoughts on whether I want to, or whether CAP even needs a "Reginald Barclay" (http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Reginald_Barclay) type like me as a member. 

Just remember that Reginald Barclay made O-4 and was responsible for some impressive achievements.

I think it boils down to: will you be happy if you remain in CAP?  If so, renew.  If not, the stress just isn't worth it.

[Mela_007]

Perhaps I have no "right" to speak in this extremely knowledgeable and experienced group as new as I am, but I'm going to throw in my two cents for consideration.  Speaking from my point of view as a soon to be unit CC of a understaffed composite squadron, I would hope your squadron or upper echelons would take the opportunity of drawing from your knowledge and experience.  I understand that serving at the unit level will not necessarily aide in your upward movement, but you can still assist behind the scenes if the more visible/social assignments are not your strength.  Many of the staff positions require a great deal of work, but are mostly behind the scenes and this would help in spreading the work around. 

[Storm Chaser]

Just remember that Reginald Barclay made O-4 and was responsible for some impressive achievements.

It also took him a long, long time to do so. In addition, most of his impressive achievements were only accomplished by taking risks and making bold moves.

[Tim Day]

2. I will always have a heart for the cadets, though how an officer with halting speech can relate to (typically) garrulous teenagers

Since most youth in this age bracket are looking for authenticity I think an officer with halting speech could relate to them (especially the many with challenges themselves) perhaps more effectively than some adults without such impediments.

[Flying Pig]

Over the course of my development as an adult (Im 39 now ) It has been a constant battle with everything I do to be able to force myself to just do things for the fun of it.  If you take away all the peripheral stuff, ribbons, promotions, mean people can you just force yourself to come to a CAP meeting and just be selfish?  Just show up and do what makes it fun.   Even in LE, everything is political, people stabbing each other in the back, nasty downright dysfunctional social interactions in the work place many times.  When I decided I was going to leave CA and take the job in FL it was like suddenly someone flipped a switch in me.  The last couple months I was at my old job, all of that other nonsense just stopped mattering.  I would be in the office and someone would start complaining about this or that, or some other person did this and I just shrugged my shoulders said "Hmmmm  I dunno."  I didnt leave for those reasons, but I did notice that over the years, much of what frustrated me or affected my mood had absolutely NOTHING to do with me or the mission of the unit.

[Chappie]

My rule of thumb has been (as it relates to volunteer work): When it ceases to be fun (by that I mean...a source of joy, sense of fulfillment - both personally and professionally, etc), it's time to move on.   Notice I said it relates to volunteer work....there are other commitments in life that demand sacrifice, dedication, perseverance which demands the time and energy.  Volunteer work is simply that...volunteer.   You can choose whether or not to devote yourself to a certain task, organization, etc. 

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

I thank you - all of you - for your replies.  Some I agree with, some less so - and in the main, the ones that are "less so" come from those who have not, as the saying goes, "walked a mile in my shoes."  Nonetheless, thank you for not flaming me.

I will try to give intelligent responses, though of course some might seem overly blunt and unappreciative.  Please realise I do not intend that.

One thought (no promises I won't add more)

Have you considered becoming an Air Ops Branch Director and then perhaps PSC / OSC? (or dare I suggest IC)

I think that IC is probably out of the question for me, though I will research those other positions.

I should mention that at one time I strongly considered going to seminary, but several pastors I talked to said that they thought that it would not be a good fit for me (the pastorate) because of my personality type, even though I had a fair bit of the requisite theological knowledge.  I say that because back before the position morphed into CDI and some of the requirements changed for the position, a CAP Chaplain (who had many of the same personality quirks as me) and I had a long conversation with my then-pastor about my being an MLO.

For that matter, and I speak as an IC, a good LSC or FASC are worth their weight in gold, and really have almost zero to do with GOBN or anything like that...if you volunteer and do the job, you'll get plenty of respect and admiration from me.

Hold up there, too much alphabet soup (what do you think this is, the CGAUX? ).  FASC would probably be a very bad fit as I am really incompetent with numbers and cannot even balance a chequebook (no kidding; thank God my wife works at a credit union and is a whiz with that sort of thing).  LSC just might turn the trick...even though my current unit's digs are barely enough to hold the junk cast-off stuff equipment we've got, let alone catalogue it.  We've already got a Logistics Officer who is darned good at his job, so that would have to be taken into account as well.

Be an AOBD/FRO.

Provide senior member coverage for squadron activities.

You lot are really giving me brain mush by looking up all these abbreviations, yes?

I was actually a FRO back about 15 years ago...I still have the certificate from the FRO school I attended but I never actually did the job.

I had to do some digging to find out that AOBD was actually what Phil suggested above...my bad.

I have done the "senior member coverage" bit - if you count showing up, keeping an eye on the cadets and making sure no-one got hurt.

The question remains, do you want to get promoted, or just contribute to the cause in a meaningful way.

Sir, I think I already said I have done some hard coming to terms with the distinct possibility that I will never make it beyond Captain.

As I have said before, you should consider leaving this "wallflower" nonsense by the curb and start making some noise either about yourself, or with those who you say are holding you back.  Otherwise it's somewhat disingenuous to say you don't like to sing your own praises, yet every third or fourth thread the issue comes up.

Sir, I think this is an example of "walking a mile in my shoes."  You may think it's nonsense, but it is real life for me.  JeffDG referred me to a wonderful book some months ago by Susan Cain called "Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking."  I highly recommend it.  It is one of the best books in recent years that I have read.

http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/about-the-book/

I really am the guy who, at a social gathering, tries to find the first quiet corner.  I am not horrible talking to people one on one, but as for interaction with a large group...you are entitled to call it "wallflower nonsense" if you like, but again, it's real life for me.

As for promotion...I don't think I said, or inferred, my decision to rejoin CAP (or not) hinged on gold oak leaves.

It's a double-edged sword to some extent.  I've had to deal with more then a few Once-A-Year members.  They have their pet activity (say an encampment or flight academy) and are either absent or a PITA the rest of the year, then when "their thing" comes around, they expect immediate response on approvals, forms 5s, promotions, whatever.

I can categorically state I am not one of those "once-a-year" types, though I unfortunately have as much, if not more, capacity to (unintentionally) be a PITA as any other CAP member.

As for the "immediate response," approvals, etc...I do not expect a response on a promotion issue, because I am not going to submit for promotion again unless someone who knows a hell of a lot more than I do encourages me to.

Just remember that Reginald Barclay made O-4 and was responsible for some impressive achievements.

It also took him a long, long time to do so. In addition, most of his impressive achievements were only accomplished by taking risks and making bold moves.

I have sometimes wondered if somehow I could run a starship with just my brain power...

Perhaps I have no "right" to speak in this extremely knowledgeable and experienced group as new as I am, but I'm going to throw in my two cents for consideration.  Speaking from my point of view as a soon to be unit CC of a understaffed composite squadron, I would hope your squadron or upper echelons would take the opportunity of drawing from your knowledge and experience.  I understand that serving at the unit level will not necessarily aide in your upward movement, but you can still assist behind the scenes if the more visible/social assignments are not your strength.  Many of the staff positions require a great deal of work, but are mostly behind the scenes and this would help in spreading the work around. 

You have every right to speak and I appreciate it.

I have been a staff officer behind-the-scenes and in fact have a Master Rating in Administration.  I just got burned out on doing that, not to mention it's almost becoming redundant since all the forms/manuals are online (I had been doing it since the days of the big blue Indexes, Regulations and Manuals binder).

Since most youth in this age bracket are looking for authenticity I think an officer with halting speech could relate to them (especially the many with challenges themselves) perhaps more effectively than some adults without such impediments.

Well, I can say that WRT "authenticity," I am a poor actor and/or bull[mess]ter so when I do say something, you can very likely bet the bank that it is the "real me" saying it, even though getting in front of groups of people is the "freeze-up" trigger (back when I was in rock bands as a kid, I used to stand back by the amps and tell whoever was running lights not to spotlight me - unusual for a lead guitarist).

I do have to say, without hopefully sounding a braggart, that the kids who become cadets who have been bullied, been outcasts, etc., do somehow seem to gravitate to me.  It's not anything I do consciously.

Again, thank you to ALL.  I asked for help and feedback, and you gave it.  God bless.

[Eclipse]

Expecting extroverts, or at least non-introverts, to read books or otherwise educate themselves
on someone else's problem is just looking for...if not excuses...then "relief" from the burden of
fixing the issue yourself.

The only person who is going to care that being an introvert is holding you back, is YOU. 

You may well be too "baked" to be able to radically alter your personality, but if you
KNOW the reason you're not getting what you want is because of "X", just go Costanza and
do the opposite of what your instincts tell you.  If you step on toes, who cares?   Those people
seem disinclined to care about your experience, so why care about theirs? 

If you leave a wake, at least you'll be remembered.

Also, it's clear you actually >do< care about this, and it seems like you're way up in your head about it.

Change what you can, accept what you can't, and move on.

[Alaric]

My membership in CAP expires at the end of this month.

This morning I told my wife that and she said "go ahead and renew it."

However, I am having conflicted thoughts on whether I want to, or whether CAP even needs a "Reginald Barclay" (http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Reginald_Barclay) type like me as a member.  I am about as good in social situations as I am at nuclear physics, which is often not good in CAP, and I tend to be bluntly honest (my wife says I'm my own worst critic), which can make you enemies in CAP.  I have a fair bit of knowledge (my promotion board, where I was turned down for promotion to Major, last April, even said I had "a very thorough knowledge of CAP regulations") but am not good at expressing myself verbally - I don't quite stutter, but I come close to stammering.  In fact, it's been suggested that I may have Asperger's Syndrome, though that is VERY hard to diagnose, given that I also have (diagnosed) PTSD.

I am extremely quiet and nonverbal in person, though if you ask me a question you'll get a very direct answer.  I have virtually zero social skills.  Sometimes I honestly wonder how my wife puts up with me, though obviously she does.  She has the patience of Job.

I have had to come to terms with the distinct possibility (if not certainty) that I will never be promoted beyond Captain.  I am not in CAP just for the rank, though I had hoped, like I think most CAP members do, to "go up" the "PD ladder."  When I was younger and first joined CAP, I did have aspirations to command a squadron.  Now I don't, because I believe I would be spectacularly ineffective.  So, effectively, my routes to PD have closed.  I never expected to be a National, Region or Wing commander, though I also never expected that I would hit a wall at Captain.

My physical health has deteriorated over the past couple of years.  I had a physical two weeks ago and the doctor informed me that I have arthritis settling into my hips, and, as I have stated here, the chances are very good that within a year or two I will have to use a cane to walk.  My effectiveness for CAP will be hobbled (pun intended), despite nondiscrimination policies.

I am obviously very critical of some of CAP's policies on CT, especially where uniforms are concerned.  However, despite the way it may come across, the uniform is not the greatest of my concerns.  It is, to me, the most visible of the divisions within CAP, about which I sometimes wonder if they ever can be healed.

There are three main reasons why I joined CAP initially:

1. My lifelong love of aviation
2. To provide a safe environment for kids, to keep them being bullied, which I did not have
3. The connection to the Air Force
4. My interest in Aerospace Education

Now, I strongly question some of those.

1. My lifelong love of aviation remains, though due to my health issues I can probably never be aircrew again.
2. I will always have a heart for the cadets, though how an officer with halting speech can relate to (typically) garrulous teenagers
3. Our connection to the Air Force has grown thinner on many levels, though not on paper WRT AFRCC, 1st AF, etc.
4. As others have posted here, the "third leg" of Aerospace Education is, at best, on life support

I have noticed (and I am not talking about the GOB/GN or butt-kissing here) that the most effective people in CAP, those who make the most positive impact in general, are those who tend to be more gregarious, affable, etc...something I am not.

I could conceivably hang around on the fringes of CAP, knowing I will never be anything more than what I currently am, until I reach retirement age (about three years, given that I have breaks in service), but would that be fair to the organisation?

Yes, as others on here know, I have also been a member of the CGAUX, and enjoyed it, especially the much-better relationship with their parent service, though I have little-to-no-interest in boating itself, and their aviation component (AirAux) is extremely small and limited.  I tried to join the NSCC about 10 years ago, but was rejected due to my disability (apparently they can get by with that).

So, that is my dilemma.  You can call it self-pity, whining, or whatever if you like, but I assure you that to me it is quite real.

I have never been accused of being affable, or an extrovert however I have found my place in the world as a Mission Base specialist (LSC, FASC, MSA, MRO, AOBD, and training for MSO {Mission Safety Officer}) for those times I can't work Air Crew; In squadron/group/wing as an Admin/Personnel/PD kind of fella and am current taking ACSC (Air Command and Staff College} online.  The great thing about volunteer organizations is that they need all kinds.  Good luck.

[JacobAnn]

My rule of thumb has been (as it relates to volunteer work): When it ceases to be fun (by that I mean...a source of joy, sense of fulfillment - both personally and professionally, etc), it's time to move on.   Notice I said it relates to volunteer work....there are other commitments in life that demand sacrifice, dedication, perseverance which demands the time and energy.  Volunteer work is simply that...volunteer.   You can choose whether or not to devote yourself to a certain task, organization, etc.

Along similar lines I feel there is both good and bad to everything we do.  If the good outweighs the bad, we find a way to stick with it.  If the bad outweighs the good, it's time to move on.

[NIN]

Guy I worked for years ago used to say "Its important to get the right people on the bus, and in the right seats."

And I've used that analogy in CAP many times as a squadron commander.  Its just that in CAP you don't always have a huge say over "the right people on the bus" part.   Its like the movie Speed: not much opportunity to swap out who is on the bus.

So you have to juggle who is right for what jobs and what positions are appropriate for the skill sets, personalities, availability, physical capability, etc.

Many years ago, when I took over responsibility for encampment at the last minute, a former wing member who had moved further south contacted me about being at encampment that summer. I think he was interested in Safety Officer, even though I had a massive need for tac officers.  I had NO idea who he was, but the week before encampment a long time wing member said "Oh, Richard is coming?  Yah, good luck with that..."

He shows up the night before encampment starts. He's got a disability that requires him to be on crutches and he can't walk far (he mentioned that he didn't get around too hot prior to encampment, but no mention was made of crutches or anything) and he has some other medical issues.  The senior dorm rooms were on the 2nd floor of a building that is not quite 100m away from the admin building and about 150m from the DFAC.  Uh oh, he's not going to do stairs well, and he'll be exhausted before he gets anywhere.

So I paired him up with one of the male TAC officers in the single floor barracks that was less than 25 m from the DFAC, and he did fairly well except for the fact that it took him 3-4 times longer to get from point A to point B.

But every day he was out in the motor pool safety checking the vehicles (20m from the barracks), and then he'd find his way up to our 2nd floor office in the admin bldg after chow and he'd remain in air conditioned comfort,  monitoring the radios and handling random admin questions that came in.  The commandant, the XO and I did any of the "running around" stuff, and we were able to get him via  radio if need be. He'd either find his way down to the DFAC for lunch, or someone would run a meal up to him, and he'd be standing tall for Retreat each night.

It took a little bit of doing, and it didn't fit the traditional "safety officer" role, but we found the "right seat on the bus" for Richard and it worked.

Over the years I've been faced with similar challenges: 

• The former Spaatz cadet who suffered a closed head injury as an adult and wasn't able to do much "running around with the cadets" but was a crackerjack admin officer;
  
• A 70+ year old USAF vet (who'd retired from the AF before I was born!) with bad knees, but a commercial driver's license and a knack for organizing things;
• a 20 year old kid with Aspbergers who missed being a cadet by a year or so, and required a lot of hand-holding, but was super detailed oriented and liked Aerospace.
  
• the school teacher with zero military experience but a hell of an interest in Aerospace, a great grasp of history, and who loved to organize field trips;

There are undoubtedly others over the last 25+ years of my senior existence, but these are just a few examples of "working with what you've got."

[Phil Hirons, Jr.]

Thought Two

The IG program can almost always use  knowledgeable, experienced in multiple CAP areas people.
Inspections are one on one or maybe one on two conversations.
Complaints require a lot of off in a corner work.

[Devil Doc]

Cant join the Sea Cadets because of a Disability? Well Dang there goes my Plan D.