Question on Senior Member "Alertness and Functioning Protocols"

[Krapenhoeffer]

Well, the Fire Department just banned electrical coffee brewing devices in apartments.

And I absolutely despise the taste of Starbucks. Is there a way I can still brew good coffee in my dwelling?

I have the ability and power to boil water in my apartment, but my coffee machine just went the way of my George Foreman grill.

[Pylon]

Absolutely!

French press all the way.   

Get a french press, which is basically just a pot with a filter.  I like the double-walled metal ones because they retain heat longer than the fancy glass or clear-plastic ones you can see through.

Get your favorite coffee beans of any variety ground specifically for a french press, and scoop the appropriate amount of grounds into your press.  Boil water by whatever means you can -- tea pot, hot pot, etc.   Pour the hot water onto the grounds and let it steep for about 4 minutes, then press down on the filter to extract the grounds from the coffee.

It will take about the same amount of time as your drip brewer probably did, but you will get MUCH more flavor from pressing your coffee.  And all you'll need is a stove or a hot pot to boil water with, and your press.  I use a Bodum 32 oz. stainless steel press.

[Eclipse]

Well, the Fire Department just banned electrical coffee brewing devices in apartments.

Where?  Under what possible authority could they ban a legal, common device like a coffee machine?

A press is the way to go, otherwise, but be aware what you get will actually be coffee, including the oils usually filtered out by auto-drips, the result is more robust and pure, but can be somewhat of a shock to people used to warm brown water.

[Major Lord]

The Fire Department passes laws where you live? How is the weather in Cuba?

Major Lord

[Al Sayre]

1.  On what authority?
2.  Do they have a warrant to come in your home to see if you have one.
3.  What can they do, charge you with illegal possession of a coffee maker?
4.  What is the penalty for possession?
5.  If true, you should be down at city hall screaming at the top of your lungs not writing about it here. 

Are you being a troll or what?

[NIN]

My bet its college campus.   Happens all the time. Especially when some ham-handed chowderhead attempts to use a coffee machine to burn down the place.

When I was in Korea, the post fire dept had a rule that electrically operated coffee pots in office work areas had to be enclosed in a metal housing.  So our aircraft sheet metal shop made an absolute killing building these things for units all over post.  About 2 1/2 ft of sheet aluminum, a couple dozen rivets, 20 minutes on the press brake, 15 minutes on the work table and 15 minutes of prep & paint and *pow* you had a pretty nice looking enclosure for a drip coffee maker.  And it gave the guys in the sheet metal shop something to do.

[JC004]

1.  On what authority?

Arbitrary?

2.  Do they have a warrant to come in your home to see if you have one.

Pfft.  Rights.  Whatever.  No self-respecting citizen would object to even being strip searched for the possession of a coffee machine or accessories. 

4.  What is the penalty for possession?

Death by hanging?

[BillB]

Death by hanging is better than CAP's method, Death by Power Point

[JC004]

That was the old way.  The new way is that they stab you with the metal Triangle Thingy from Vanguard.  An ICL is to come. 

[Krapenhoeffer]

@Al Sayre, et al.

1: After a pretty bad apartment fire 20 years ago, the City Council voted the authority to the Fire Department.

2: There are a few firefighters who are also sworn Law Enforcement officers in the local FD. Even though they most likely wouldn't, obedience to the law, especially one made with my supposed safety in mind, is a good thing.

3: They can fine me for violating the Fire Code.

4: A fine, and having it confiscated.

5: Voted on, and was upheld by the Council.

Please, I'm not a troll. If I were a troll, I would start a thread on uniforms.

Typically, CAP SMs happen to be good with the wonderful Caffeine liquid, and everyone else in my unit either a) lives in a house (law doesn't apply to them) or b) live outside the city (not in jurisdiction).

And everyone else in my apartment actually likes Starbucks.

@Pylon and Eclipse: Never heard of that, I will look into it.

[raivo]

Is there a way I can still brew good coffee in my dwelling?

Yes. Ignore your Orwellian city council.

[Eclipse]

I can't imagine that law would remotely stand a constitutional challenge, but whatever...

French press:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_press

Some cool ones:  http://www.planetarydesign.us/

http://www.amazon.com/Bodum-16-Ounce-Insulated-Travel-Coffee/dp/B00023KJME/


You can get a press add-on for the jet boil:  http://shop.jetboil.com/index.php/coffee-press.html


And the Aeropress was apparently the #1 single-cup coffee maker last year:
http://aerobie.com/products/aeropress.htm


I have one and am not a big fan.  They are simple with easy clean up, but I think the filter is trapping too much of the oils
which is the point of a press, so the taste isn't as robust - on the other hand if SB's coffee isn't to your liking, this might be the way to go.

You might also consider a 1-cup cone filter coffee maker:  http://www.coffeedetective.com/one-cup-coffee-maker.html

http://www.idealtruevalue.com/servlet/the-137970/Detail

And this site always has good, interesting info on the 1-cup coffee world:  http://www.singleservecoffee.com/

Or you could always go old-school and get a stove-top percolator:

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=stove+top+percolator&hl=en&cid=11098942468283478580&ei=-JBXTJbtLpa0MfLopYwE&sa=title&ved=0CFgQ8wIwCDgA#p

[tsrup]

Next on the list of dangerous household items:

Lamps
power strips
Christmas Trees
Stoves
Scissors
Knives
Bleach
Plastic Wrap
5 gal. buckets
Soap...

Please whatever you do, make sure you protect me from myself!

Of course it is a point to bring up that the ban only applies to apartments... where your idiocy can kill everyone else in the building. 

It's still stupid though...

[Capt_Redfox30]

@Al Sayre, et al.

1: After a pretty bad apartment fire 20 years ago, the City Council voted the authority to the Fire Department.

2: There are a few firefighters who are also sworn Law Enforcement officers in the local FD. Even though they most likely wouldn't, obedience to the law, especially one made with my supposed safety in mind, is a good thing.

3: They can fine me for violating the Fire Code.

4: A fine, and having it confiscated.

5: Voted on, and was upheld by the Council.

Please, I'm not a troll. If I were a troll, I would start a thread on uniforms.

Typically, CAP SMs happen to be good with the wonderful Caffeine liquid, and everyone else in my unit either a) lives in a house (law doesn't apply to them) or b) live outside the city (not in jurisdiction).

And everyone else in my apartment actually likes Starbucks.

@Pylon and Eclipse: Never heard of that, I will look into it.

I know a lot of firefighters and EMS personal in my area and thats all they ever drink, you better go check the fire houses and call centers you know every person in there has there own coffee maker!

[JC004]

I've GOT to see this in writing.  There simply cannot be any way the written code is not hilarious. 

ALL CRAP LAWS ARE MADE WITH AN EXCUSE RELATED TO YOUR WELL-BEING.  Just so you know. 

It often doesn't matter whether you have a law or not.  It's legal to own a machine gun in Pennsylvania.  I've shot them.  They're fun.  Great for squirrel hunting (I made that up - that's illegal).  Do you know what our machine gun shooting death rates are?  Yeah...zip.  Do you know what the rate would be if they banned them?  Probably still zip, or maybe higher, but not likely less than zip.

Are hairdryers illegal?  Those sound dangerous.  Imagine leaving one of those babies on.  Toasters!  FREAKING CRAP.  TOASTERS! 

What sort of utopia has coffee makers as its deepest concern?  I must move there.

I'd probably make a banner to hang from my window: clipart of a coffee maker and the words "You can have my coffee maker...When you pry it from my cold, dead coffee-stained hands."

Plus, when the Coffee Maker Gestapo showed up, the video of them writing you up and walking out with your coffee maker would be precious on YouTube...and CNN, MSNBC, FOX...You can't say that wouldn't just go totally viral and be all over the news.

[DakRadz]

They are especially fond of French press coffee, and have a special deal with the local coffee bean and French press merchants. Therefore, apartment dwellers (they can all buy the coffee bean sacks in bulk, and share) are being targeted to line pockets.

I feel I must warn everyone that Eclipse and Pylon are agents of this corrupt coffee-ring, and their references to French presses are slightly biased.



Tell me that didn't make you spit your French pressed coffee all over the keyboard.

[tsrup]

Hey Dak.. your tinfoil hat is showing. 

[JC004]

...
I feel I must warn everyone that Eclipse and Pylon are agents of this corrupt coffee-ring, and their references to French presses are slightly biased.
...

I have written evidence that Pylon is heavily connected to Starbucks - a GOLD CARD holder, in fact.  It is possible that he is being bribed with Stars to promote this idea.

Other people heavily involved with this group of corrupt Starbucks people have tried promoting their French Press to me.

*hides my Gold Card under the couch*

[DakRadz]

Hey Dak.. your tinfoil hat is showing. 

Actually sir, it's made of the contents of this: http://tinyurl.com/rank-metal-extreme
Much more effective at blocking NHQ mind probes, carried out by Special Black Van Teams, led by the secretly reinstated TP (Lt Gen).

I now leave this thread to the capable hands of this program's Senior Membership.

:clap:

[Krapenhoeffer]

Oh, I wont doubt the existence of the newly created sub-Department of Coffee Enforcement.

One of the other SMs in my squadron is a LEO, and he said that he greatly looks forward to getting a search and seizure warrant for my morning Colombian dark half blend.

But, I'm not going to go against the FD. I have to work with them enough that I know that they don't ban things unless they've gotten calls before about them. Not to mention that I'll soon understand, once I start cross training as a Firefighter next summer.

'Tis a long and lonely road to PhD. I don't even have my B.S. yet...

[AirDX]

Is there a way I can still brew good coffee in my dwelling?

Yes. Ignore your Orwellian city council.

And then vote the Commies out!

[JC004]

You can't legislate, ordnance, or otherwise force people into absolute safety.  It does not exist.  I bet cars kill a lot more people in your area than coffee makers.  I'm pretty sure your FD has to clean that mess up.  Why don't they ban cars?

You got your B.S. They're serving it to you in the form of "protection."

Is there someplace I can see this ridiculous regulation?

I once saw a chart of causes of death in the US.  ONE death was caused supposedly by an exploding BIC lighter.  Ban them?

There is only one solution to this...make them this coffee:  http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/drinks/d60c/

[raivo]

Coffee makers are not in themselves inherently dangerous. The reason something caught fire as a result of one is because someone was stupid or negligent, or some combination of the two. Don't be either of those, and you won't start a fire. (Unless something like an electrical short happens, and that could happen in any home appliance.)

I'm the last person to cry wolf about evil government plots to take away your rights, but seriously, yours needs a reality check. If your council-members really think it's their place to protect you from yourself... they need to find a new job.

[Short Field]

My bet its college campus.   Happens all the time. Especially when some ham-handed chowderhead attempts to use a coffee machine to burn down the place.

Sounds more and more like a college campus and the single student housing (dorms or equivalent) on the campus.  Unless you want to believe all the apartments in an entire town are banned from having electric coffee makers. 

[Spaceman3750]

It's because a coffee maker has an open heating element (the pad the pot sits on) in a tightly enclosed fire-prone space (apartment building). They're usually banned in dorms by fire code, often under blanket bans for anything with an open heating element.

The FD doesn't make laws, but there is fire code which has to be followed and can be enforced by the fire marshal; I'm not sure what force it carries in private residences.

[JC004]

Are stoves legal?

I wouldn't want to offend the fire department while I make my dinner...

[Eclipse]

And candles, light bulbs, some laptop computers...

[JC004]

And candles, light bulbs, some laptop computers...

But I'd think a stove/range is, by definition, an "open heating element." 

[Eclipse]

For sure...

[Krapenhoeffer]

I am a College student, but if I lived in dorms, I wouldn't have this issue, as we had drip coffee makers on every floor's lounge back when I lived in them.

Regardless, I'm not going to break the law, no matter how silly and stupid this one is. Nor am I one to argue with the second largest Fire Department in the state. I'm going to try the coffee press, and if that doesn't work out, one of my friends (who lives in his own house) about 15 minutes away on foot, said I could use his drip coffee maker.

Thanks for the suggestions, and you may now return to your regularly scheduled legal debate.

[Major Lord]

I would consider contacting trade organizations like AHAM ( http://www.aham.org/) who represent appliance manufacturers, or Coffee producers.  When a City Council thinks they can pass a regulation because no one is in a position to strongly contest it, they will, but the threat of defending their ridiculous and capricious actions in a court of law may cause them to rethink this. A few hundred thousand dollars here, a few hundred thousand dollars there, and the next thing you know, we are talking about serious money.

Your Apartment is your domicile, and this is a sacred thing in the law. Can they ban toasters? Hair dryers? Life support machines? Where does this authority come from? The founding fathers were pretty clear; From the consent of the governed. Revoke your consent.

It may seem like a tiny thing, but our founding fathers carried out acts of terror upon the British for trying to raise the tax on tea by about 3%, its best not to let these things get out of hand, so put them down like a bad dog before its too late.

Major Lord

[davidsinn]

I would consider contacting trade organizations like AHAM ( http://www.aham.org/) who represent appliance manufacturers, or Coffee producers.  When a City Council thinks they can pass a regulation because no one is in a position to strongly contest it, they will, but the threat of defending their ridiculous and capricious actions in a court of law may cause them to rethink this. A few hundred thousand dollars here, a few hundred thousand dollars there, and the next thing you know, we are talking about serious money.

Your Apartment is your domicile, and this is a sacred thing in the law. Can they ban toasters? Hair dryers? Life support machines? Where does this authority come from? The founding fathers were pretty clear; From the consent of the governed. Revoke your consent.

It may seem like a tiny thing, but our founding fathers carried out acts of terror upon the British for trying to raise the tax on tea by about 3%, its best not to let these things get out of hand, so put them down like a bad dog before its too late.

Major Lord

:clap: Second largest FD sounds like like it might be LA or Chicago or some place like that. This sounds like something they would try to pull.

[PHall]

I would consider contacting trade organizations like AHAM ( http://www.aham.org/) who represent appliance manufacturers, or Coffee producers.  When a City Council thinks they can pass a regulation because no one is in a position to strongly contest it, they will, but the threat of defending their ridiculous and capricious actions in a court of law may cause them to rethink this. A few hundred thousand dollars here, a few hundred thousand dollars there, and the next thing you know, we are talking about serious money.

Your Apartment is your domicile, and this is a sacred thing in the law. Can they ban toasters? Hair dryers? Life support machines? Where does this authority come from? The founding fathers were pretty clear; From the consent of the governed. Revoke your consent.

It may seem like a tiny thing, but our founding fathers carried out acts of terror upon the British for trying to raise the tax on tea by about 3%, its best not to let these things get out of hand, so put them down like a bad dog before its too late.

Major Lord

:clap: Second largest FD sounds like like it might be LA or Chicago or some place like that. This sounds like something they would try to pull.

Read it again, he said second largest in the state.

[Eclipse]

Read it again, he said second largest in the state.

Yeah, could be Mount Pilot.

Just for snicks, who told you this or where did the info come from?  Were this to pop up in my town, I'd want
to see the verbiage in the Fire Code.

[davidsinn]

I would consider contacting trade organizations like AHAM ( http://www.aham.org/) who represent appliance manufacturers, or Coffee producers.  When a City Council thinks they can pass a regulation because no one is in a position to strongly contest it, they will, but the threat of defending their ridiculous and capricious actions in a court of law may cause them to rethink this. A few hundred thousand dollars here, a few hundred thousand dollars there, and the next thing you know, we are talking about serious money.

Your Apartment is your domicile, and this is a sacred thing in the law. Can they ban toasters? Hair dryers? Life support machines? Where does this authority come from? The founding fathers were pretty clear; From the consent of the governed. Revoke your consent.

It may seem like a tiny thing, but our founding fathers carried out acts of terror upon the British for trying to raise the tax on tea by about 3%, its best not to let these things get out of hand, so put them down like a bad dog before its too late.

Major Lord

:clap: Second largest FD sounds like like it might be LA or Chicago or some place like that. This sounds like something they would try to pull.

Read it again, he said second largest in the state.

Yeah. I misread that.

[ol'fido]

Is there a "Joe Dimaggio Bill"  requiring a 7 day waiting period before buying a "Mr. Coffee". Or a cup capacity limit of 10 cups. :angel:

[Krapenhoeffer]

And for further guidance, the second largest FD in the State, is the largest in the Co.

I'm an EMT in the Campus EMS, that happens to be within the Fire District causing my coffee woes.

If I were to use a Coffee machine, it would look really, really bad.

Since everyone knows who the Campus EMTs are, I can't use the "I'm not in uniform" thing.

I have to support the local Fire Department, as a matter of discipline.

[Майор Хаткевич]

And for further guidance, the second largest FD in the State, is the largest in the Co.

I'm an EMT in the Campus EMS, that happens to be within the Fire District causing my coffee woes.

If I were to use a Coffee machine, it would look really, really bad.

Since everyone knows who the Campus EMTs are, I can't use the "I'm not in uniform" thing.

I have to support the local Fire Department, as a matter of discipline.

Seriously? Time to buy 10 coffee makers, open shop in town, and film what happens.

I'm calling troll unless next post shows a source.

[Krapenhoeffer]

Well, I just went through the entire Fire Code, and there is no mention of coffee makers anywhere. Granted, according to the document, it hasn't been updated since the 1970s.

There is another General Ordinance which authorizes the Chief of the Fire Department to "Restrict or regulate any item which the Chief deems necessary for the prevention of fires."

Landlord says he's heard it from his Fire Department liaison on the grounds of "because we said so." He then proceeded to say that he agrees with the Fire Department, and went on and made his own ban on electric coffee machines, which he is empowered to do so by law.

@USAFaux2004: That is the "magic" of zoning. I can go out and get my business permit, bother the Common Council for about 5 minutes, and magically, my property is now zoned as commercial. However, my apartment is not my property. It is leased. And my apartment is zoned as an apartment.

[HGjunkie]

And for further guidance, the second largest FD in the State, is the largest in the Co.

I'm an EMT in the Campus EMS, that happens to be within the Fire District causing my coffee woes.

If I were to use a Coffee machine, it would look really, really bad.

Since everyone knows who the Campus EMTs are, I can't use the "I'm not in uniform" thing.

I have to support the local Fire Department, as a matter of discipline.

Seriously? Time to buy 10 coffee makers, open shop in town, and film what happens.

I'm calling troll unless next post shows a source.

I think this qualifies as a troll/10.

[Eclipse]

Calling troll, I don't think that's fair, but this sounds like a fundamental misunderstanding of the situation and a bunch of people
going along with a misguided "good" idea.

[Майор Хаткевич]

Topic: Question on Senior Member "Alertness and Functioning Protocols"
OP: About Coffee maker ban...


Troll.

[Krapenhoeffer]

Obviously you aren't aware that coffee is an integral part of Senior Member functioning and alertness protocols. Also, they were in quotations.

[Pylon]

The OP's question has been more than answered.  I think we can move on here.

[BillB]

I checked a 101 card, and there is no place listed for Troll I want to be a certified Troll, how do I do it?

[FW]

^Certified Trolls may apply for GOBD or GTL1 certification; I think the ratings are interchangeable.

Obviously you aren't aware that coffee is an integral part of Senior Member functioning and alertness protocols. Also, they were in quotations.

An activity may not be certified as a CAP activity unless there is an adequate coffee supply (with donut chasers) present. 

[SJFedor]

I checked a 101 card, and there is no place listed for Troll I want to be a certified Troll, how do I do it?

Colgan made me a 101 card once with Donut Branch Director and Microwave Team Leader or something like that, and a few other things on it once. Think it's on my other computer.... it may be somewhere deep in the old posts of CT as well.

Edit: Found it!

[HGjunkie]

I checked a 101 card, and there is no place listed for Troll I want to be a certified Troll, how do I do it?

Colgan made me a 101 card once with Donut Branch Director and Microwave Team Leader or something like that, and a few other things on it once. Think it's on my other computer.... it may be somewhere deep in the old posts of CT as well.

Edit: Found it!

:clap: :clap: