Is this what I joined for?

Started by foxtrotwoodz, June 28, 2016, 06:15:03 AM

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foxtrotwoodz

I joined CAP back in February 2016. At age 16 it was hard trying to relate or communicate with the kids younger than me, after a few awkward conversations, I decided not to talk with most of kids and I kept to myself. After awhile a Sergeant came up to me and asked why I'm not socializing and I basically said I'm not interested in having wierd conversations with other cadets. So she grabs this random kid and said socialize and walked away. There is a strong presence of favoritism, the cadet commander and his brothers have it the easiest compared to everyone else, the deputy commanders son has a personality of being a dick and talking down to people. The first sergeant has a temper issue and when something happens that he don't like he freaks out and some things are said. I don't know how the cadets on staff made rank or got on staff when they don't have any professionalism, respect, and don't follow anything set by CAP, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I don't mean to hurt anyone or rant, but I'm losing my patients and my cool. I'm at the point of taking off but I just need help on how I can make this experience better or figure out if this is normal.

Майор Хаткевич

Well...you posted plenty of identifying information...so this may resolve itself rather soon.

lordmonar

Quote from: Капитан Хаткевич on June 28, 2016, 06:32:09 AM
Well...you posted plenty of identifying information...so this may resolve itself rather soon.
Yeah....but there is not a NV036 squadron.

So...?

To Foxtrotwoodz.......your first step is to talk to your deputy commander for cadets or the unit commander.   Be respectful.  Focus on the problem and bring solutions when you have to conversation.

Being an older low ranking cadet can be a challenge.  You are outranked by "kids" younger then you.....and it is hard not to get resentful.  Bringing your concerns to the senior members may help them see the problem and work out solutions.

Good luck.
PATRICK M. HARRIS, SMSgt, CAP

DakRadz

I was a 16 year old C/AB. It is entirely about your attitude.

My first cadet commander was about 15, and had been in for 3 years. The next one was not nearly as competent, but they earned their position if only by not quitting when all their peers did. So, I listened to them. And when I promoted, guess who got into positions the fastest?

Sometimes getting to know your flight means weird (NOT inappropriate) conversations with those younger than you. It will also help you understand strengths and weaknesses as you (likely, with the right attitude) promote faster- that's what I did.

I left as a C/Capt with a lot of excess time in grade at several points, mostly because I liked pizza rolls too much. And I didn't go to 21, I went to 20 years because of that whole marriage thing.

You can contribute, accomplish, and be rewarded for much in this program. But mostly in that order.
Personally, I think this post was not thought through, and inappropriate given some of the... descriptions.

But it starts with attitude.

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


coudano

Quote from: foxtrotwoodz on June 28, 2016, 06:15:03 AM
I decided not to talk with most of kids and I kept to myself.

That's no way to do CAP.

Are there differences between 13 year olds and 16 year olds in coversation?
Sure...
But you should be able to find some common ground (at least look at uniforms, gear, aerospace, drill, whatever)

But clamming up isn't going to work.

Phase 1 is entirely about teamwork.  If you are keeping to yourself you probably aren't doing what you need to do to advance.  Your sergeant, though maybe not in the style you would prefer, was probably trying to help you.

foxtrotwoodz

Thanks I'll use some new tools to better my idea of CAP.

Eclipse

Bear in mind, all the cadets are learning, that's what CAP is about, so when they make mistakes,
or handle things poorly, it should be addressed  discreetly and positively, with senior member awareness and
involvement, as well as your parents, but accepted as a matter of course.

"That Others May Zoom"

stitchmom

So she grabs this random kid and said socialize and walked away. There is a strong presence of favoritism, the cadet commander and his brothers have it the easiest compared to everyone else, the deputy commanders son has a personality of being a dick and talking down to people. The first sergeant has a temper issue and when something happens that he don't like he freaks out and some things are said.


This cadet does not sound resentful. What is that "socialize" nonsense?  If she wanted him to socialize more she should have engaged him with a group.  As far as favoritism I've seen it myself unfortunately. I gave the benefit of the doubt initially.

Sometimes it is wise to keep to oneself when you see signs that other people are trouble.  It sounds like the squadron has several problem kids if they are talking down to others and another has a bad temper.

Майор Хаткевич

Quote from: stitchmom on June 29, 2016, 01:41:47 PM
So she grabs this random kid and said socialize and walked away. There is a strong presence of favoritism, the cadet commander and his brothers have it the easiest compared to everyone else, the deputy commanders son has a personality of being a dick and talking down to people. The first sergeant has a temper issue and when something happens that he don't like he freaks out and some things are said.


This cadet does not sound resentful. What is that "socialize" nonsense?  If she wanted him to socialize more she should have engaged him with a group.  As far as favoritism I've seen it myself unfortunately. I gave the benefit of the doubt initially.

Sometimes it is wise to keep to oneself when you see signs that other people are trouble.  It sounds like the squadron has several problem kids if they are talking down to others and another has a bad temper.


According to one side of the story.

foxtrotwoodz

I read all the replies to this and I'm glad that I'm not the only one, lol. Anyways I've decided to talk to a high ranking senior member about my experience and hopefully something can change. P.S. I apologize for putting the wrong squadron number, I purposely did it for privacy. (I'll keep everyone updated.)

Toth

Quote from: foxtrotwoodz on June 30, 2016, 06:01:20 AM
I read all the replies to this and I'm glad that I'm not the only one, lol. Anyways I've decided to talk to a high ranking senior member about my experience and hopefully something can change. P.S. I apologize for putting the wrong squadron number, I purposely did it for privacy. (I'll keep everyone updated.)

Probably better to just not post one at all... some of us have identifying info in our signature or name box because we don't say anything on here worth reporting ;) but you also shouldn't have to worry about that kinda thing if you're obeying the core values anyway.

As for your topic and not feeling like you're part of the group, from what I've seen it happens far too often in CAP. I joined CAP when I was 15, and we had a 14 year old C/CMSgt who didn't have the best attitude. Fast forward three years, we are now both C/Capt, I am the C/CC and he is my C/XO, so it all works out. I know it seems very hard right now but try to stick it out, if you show excellence and give it your all you will promote faster than everyone else and eventually they will look up to you, not you to them.
SM Toth Mendius, CAP
C/CC RMR-MT-053 (ret.), RMR Ass't Rep NCAC (ret.)
Mitchell #65174, Earhart #17361
GES, ♦ICUT, ♦FLM, GTM3, UDF, SET, MS, MRO, EMT, *GTM2

LSW

Working with cadets I have heard a few conversations that I can only shake my head and smile. I was also an outsider in school, no interest in sports or cars but could talk your ear off about WW II history and aircraft. I can feel for you.

As a senior member working with cadets, I would say find one you are comfortable with and speak to them, it will ground you some from your frustration and they can find a way to help.

My daughter is an outsider like I was and a cadet, her interests are aircraft carriers and space shuttles. She does not easily feel comfortable with the banter either. But usually cadets have unifying interests, aircraft of all sorts, start with that.

Finally, favoritism is never good and can really cause issues. But before everything else I am her father. If she is not feeling well I slip into father mode and it can be seen as favoritism... then again I expect that much more from her because I know she is smarter than me so expect better from her and that can cause me to ride her harder than other cadets. It is a real thin line to walk from our side so I usually try to stay away from her and let other senior members or cadets work with her to avoid the difficulties. Maybe it is favoritism and maybe it just looks like it. I just wanted to give you an idea of what life with cadets when one is your child looks like from a seniors point of view. Try looking at the situation from our side and ask yourself then if it still feels like favoritism, then decide how to handle it.

Hummingbird

So, its been about 2 weeks since this was posted. Has anything changed yet?

C/MSgtHummingbird CAP
Tactical Chef Boyardee guy
NER-NY-390