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CAP Talk  |  Operations  |  Tall Tales  |  Topic: "Tid bits "O" Humor"
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Author Topic: "Tid bits "O" Humor"  (Read 24808 times)
Rob Sherlin
Seasoned Member

Posts: 385

« on: November 22, 2008, 06:42:32 AM »

 For you pilots.......
   If you work with a person that everyone calls "Little John", don't leave an aircraft supply catalog where he can find it (He didn't mind the name to much untill now).
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To fly freely above the earth is the ultimate dream for me in life.....For I do not wish to wait till I pass to earn my wings.

Rob Sherlin SM, NER-NY-116
Rob Sherlin
Seasoned Member

Posts: 385

« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2008, 01:18:47 AM »

For you LE Traffic guys........

  A squad car pulls over a vehicle that was swerving, upon approaching the vehicle, the officer notices the driver is a "man of the cloth".

  The Officer says, " Excuse me Father! I pulled you over because you were swerving in and out of your lane. Have you had anything to drink?"
  The Father says, " No, just a lot of water as it's been very hot today."
  The Officer says, " Are you sure? I can smell your breath from here and it sure smells like wine to me!"
  The Father looks puzzled, then gets a look on his face and says, " Oh Lord!...He did it again!"
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To fly freely above the earth is the ultimate dream for me in life.....For I do not wish to wait till I pass to earn my wings.

Rob Sherlin SM, NER-NY-116
nesagsar
Seasoned Member

Posts: 283

Hoskins Business
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2009, 02:30:29 PM »

I present for your approval a set of demotivators I made last month










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nesagsar
Seasoned Member

Posts: 283

Hoskins Business
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2009, 02:37:43 PM »

Here are the rest of them.










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SarDragon
Global Moderator

Posts: 10,058
Unit: NAVAIRPAC

« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2009, 05:59:28 PM »

Pix = st00pid!  :o
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Dave Bowles
Maj, CAP
AT1, USN Retired
Mitchell Award (unnumbered)
C/WO, CAP, Ret
jeders
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,006

« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2009, 01:24:46 AM »

Pix = st00pid!  :o

Yes, except for the Air Force Pilots one, that's just plain funny.  ;D
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If you are confident in you abilities and experience, whether someone else is impressed is irrelevant. - Eclipse
_
Seasoned Member

Posts: 406

« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2009, 02:14:34 AM »

Pix = st00pid!  :o

Yes, except for the Air Force Pilots one, that's just plain funny.  ;D
Pretty sure the person in the "Air Force Pilots" one is a Navy F-14 Radar Intercept Officer
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SarDragon
Global Moderator

Posts: 10,058
Unit: NAVAIRPAC

« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2009, 02:43:40 AM »

I think I'm inclined to agree with that. And the Navy Pilots caption is totally bogus. More here.
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Dave Bowles
Maj, CAP
AT1, USN Retired
Mitchell Award (unnumbered)
C/WO, CAP, Ret
jeders
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,006

« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2009, 11:03:51 AM »

Pix = st00pid!  :o

Yes, except for the Air Force Pilots one, that's just plain funny.  ;D
Pretty sure the person in the "Air Force Pilots" one is a Navy F-14 Radar Intercept Officer
It doesn't have to be completely accurate to be funny.
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If you are confident in you abilities and experience, whether someone else is impressed is irrelevant. - Eclipse
GTCommando
Seasoned Member

Posts: 255
Unit: GLR-OH-288

Pathfinders Cadet Squadron
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2010, 12:51:44 AM »

For you LE Traffic guys........

  A squad car pulls over a vehicle that was swerving, upon approaching the vehicle, the officer notices the driver is a "man of the cloth".

  The Officer says, " Excuse me Father! I pulled you over because you were swerving in and out of your lane. Have you had anything to drink?"
  The Father says, " No, just a lot of water as it's been very hot today."
  The Officer says, " Are you sure? I can smell your breath from here and it sure smells like wine to me!"
  The Father looks puzzled, then gets a look on his face and says, " Oh Lord!...He did it again!"

Very funny. You don't find too many of those kinds of jokes that don't make people mad. This one is just plain funny. I will be using it.  :clap:
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C/Maj, CAP                 
Alpha Flight Commander                     
Pathfinder Composite squadron
Earhart #15889

"For the partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers." -- Socrates
GTCommando
Seasoned Member

Posts: 255
Unit: GLR-OH-288

Pathfinders Cadet Squadron
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2010, 12:55:01 AM »

Oops! Meant to post my last reply as a qoute. Still learning.  ::)
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C/Maj, CAP                 
Alpha Flight Commander                     
Pathfinder Composite squadron
Earhart #15889

"For the partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers." -- Socrates
GTM SGT Frazier
Guest
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2010, 05:08:03 PM »

For you LE Traffic guys........

  A squad car pulls over a vehicle that was swerving, upon approaching the vehicle, the officer notices the driver is a "man of the cloth".

  The Officer says, " Excuse me Father! I pulled you over because you were swerving in and out of your lane. Have you had anything to drink?"
  The Father says, " No, just a lot of water as it's been very hot today."
  The Officer says, " Are you sure? I can smell your breath from here and it sure smells like wine to me!"
  The Father looks puzzled, then gets a look on his face and says, " Oh Lord!...He did it again!"

Very funny. You don't find too many of those kinds of jokes that don't make people mad. This one is just plain funny. I will be using it.  :clap:


So thats where u got it king
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GTCommando
Seasoned Member

Posts: 255
Unit: GLR-OH-288

Pathfinders Cadet Squadron
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2010, 11:15:32 PM »

Here's another one for y'all:

Letter from a farm kid
(now at San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you have to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad... there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

http://marklowry.com/outside/funnies/funnies.htm
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C/Maj, CAP                 
Alpha Flight Commander                     
Pathfinder Composite squadron
Earhart #15889

"For the partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers." -- Socrates
mclarke
Forum Regular

Posts: 180
Unit: GLR-WI161

« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2011, 02:09:24 PM »

Here's another one for y'all:

Letter from a farm kid
(now at San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you have to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad... there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

http://marklowry.com/outside/funnies/funnies.htm

I have read this before, however, I always find it to be funny  :clap:
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Nighthawk
Recruit

Posts: 11
Unit: MER-NC-150

« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2011, 06:22:04 PM »

Here's another one for y'all:

Letter from a farm kid
(now at San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you have to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad... there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

http://marklowry.com/outside/funnies/funnies.htm

I have read this before, however, I always find it to be funny  :clap:

Same here. I have told this one so many times, all my family members say the punchline only 1 or 2 lines in.
Logged
Daniel Ernandes, C/A1C, CAP
MER-NC-150

Good leaders are an endangered species.
When arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing.
Just because you have always been doing it that way doesn't mean it isn't incredibly stupid....
Abdomina
Recruit

Posts: 38
Unit: GLR-IL-274

« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2011, 07:51:28 PM »

my first sergeant shared this with us cadets a few weeks ago just before the meeting

After every flight, ups pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of >humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by ups ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, ups is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on
back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right
wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
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SarDragon
Global Moderator

Posts: 10,058
Unit: NAVAIRPAC

« Reply #16 on: April 27, 2011, 02:29:04 AM »

That joke is older than UPS Airlines by at least 15 years. I've seen it with USAF, USN, USMC, and other airlines instead of UPS.
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Dave Bowles
Maj, CAP
AT1, USN Retired
Mitchell Award (unnumbered)
C/WO, CAP, Ret
HGjunkie
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,616

« Reply #17 on: April 27, 2011, 10:38:25 PM »

I can't stop laughing!
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••• retired
C1C USAFA
Nighthawk
Recruit

Posts: 11
Unit: MER-NC-150

« Reply #18 on: April 28, 2011, 09:47:25 PM »

it is amusing, but i have heard it all over the place.
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Daniel Ernandes, C/A1C, CAP
MER-NC-150

Good leaders are an endangered species.
When arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing.
Just because you have always been doing it that way doesn't mean it isn't incredibly stupid....
Eclipse
Too Much Free Time Award
***
Posts: 27,981

« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2011, 05:44:03 PM »

it is amusing, but i have heard it all over the place.

Like here:
http://captalk.net/index.php?topic=1844.msg53160#msg53160
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"Effort" does not equal "results".
The contents of this post are Copyright © 2017 by eclipse. All rights are reserved. Specific permission is given to quote this post here on CAP-Talk only.

ol'fido
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,878
Unit: DOTCOTE.

« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2011, 06:43:55 PM »

From the website Aviation Humor:

Apparently the ground controllers at Frankfurt airport in Germany are well known for being arrogant and imperious on the radio especially with pilots that aren't familiar with the gate layout at the terminal. One day a British Airways jet lands at Frankfort....

Frankfurt GC: Speedbird 206, clear the active and proceed on Taxiway c to Gate 10A.

The BA jet clears the runway and proceeds on to the taxiway and slows to a stop.

Frankfurt GC(in a very snotty voice): Is the a problem, Speedbird 206?

Speedbird 206: We're just checking our index to find our gate location, Ground Control.

Frankfurt GC(Very Curtly): Have you never been to Frankfurt before?

Speedbird 206( in a very laconic, British accent): Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark and I didn't land.
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Lt. Col. Randy L. Mitchell
Historian, Group 1, IL-006
Tags
Recruit

Posts: 5
Unit: The best

« Reply #21 on: July 07, 2011, 02:47:27 PM »

Here are my two favorites:
-
The Air Force, the Navy, the Army, and the Marine Corps are asked to work together to secure a building.
The Air Force buys it.
The Navy locks the doors.
The Army sets up a perimeter.
And the Marines blow it up.
 ;D
----
An elderly American man has just gotten off a plane and in France and is getting his passport checked at customs.
The customs official says, "Sir, have you ever been to France?"
The man replies, "Yes. I have."
The customs official looks through his passport and says "No, you haven't."
The old gent says again, "Yes, i have."
The customs official is getting flustered. "No, you have not! There is no French stamp on your passport, and we are very strict! If you had been here before you would have a stamp!"
The American looks him in the eye and says, "When i came ashore at Omaha beach 67 years ago there wasn't a Frenchman in sight to offer me a stamp."
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arajca
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 4,159

« Reply #22 on: July 07, 2011, 03:00:43 PM »

I've liked the Army-Navy game washroom one:

A midshipman and a cadet are using the urinals at the Army-Navy game. After finishing, the midshipman goes to the sink to wash his hands while the cadet heads for the door.

The midshipman states, loudly, "In the Navy, a gentleman washes his hands after using the restroom."

The cadet pauses and replies, "In the Army, we do not piss on our fingers."
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titanII
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 658

« Reply #23 on: July 07, 2011, 04:06:33 PM »

An elderly American man has just gotten off a plane and in France and is getting his passport checked at customs.
The customs official says, "Sir, have you ever been to France?"
The man replies, "Yes. I have."
The customs official looks through his passport and says "No, you haven't."
The old gent says again, "Yes, i have."
The customs official is getting flustered. "No, you have not! There is no French stamp on your passport, and we are very strict! If you had been here before you would have a stamp!"
The American looks him in the eye and says, "When i came ashore at Omaha beach 67 years ago there wasn't a Frenchman in sight to offer me a stamp."
Someone I know that was in France on D-Day always said (in jest) "I'm never going to France again. Last time I was there (D-Day), I didn't feel very welcomed."  ;D

I've liked the Army-Navy game washroom one:

A midshipman and a cadet are using the urinals at the Army-Navy game. After finishing, the midshipman goes to the sink to wash his hands while the cadet heads for the door.

The midshipman states, loudly, "In the Navy, a gentleman washes his hands after using the restroom."

The cadet pauses and replies, "In the Army, we do not piss on our fingers."
LOL. That's just too good  ;D
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Phil Hirons, Jr.
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 793
Unit: NER-RI-033

« Reply #24 on: July 07, 2011, 04:18:31 PM »

I've liked the Army-Navy game washroom one:

A midshipman and a cadet are using the urinals at the Army-Navy game. After finishing, the midshipman goes to the sink to wash his hands while the cadet heads for the door.

The midshipman states, loudly, "In the Navy, a gentleman washes his hands after using the restroom."

The cadet pauses and replies, "In the Army, we do not piss on our fingers."

I'd always heard that one as surgeon (replaces midshipman) and a chiropractor.
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Mavvrikk
Recruit

Posts: 47
Unit: OK-075

« Reply #25 on: November 25, 2011, 02:09:56 AM »

Me and a SSG went into the bathroom, along with a few other cadets,  I was a Airman 1st Class at the time. And it was a night I was visiting the squadron, long story for another time.

SSG looking at another cadet: Did you wash your hands?
Cadet: Nope, and I'm not gonna (joking)
SSG looking at me: What about you?
Me hysterically laughing: No.... (walks back in)


You'd have to be there, it was the whole conversation exchange, the way it was done that made it funny.
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will3947
Recruit

Posts: 44
Unit: RMR-ID-073

« Reply #26 on: February 14, 2013, 10:02:45 PM »

Ok, This MAY seem off-topic, but WE NEED A NEW THEME SONG. OURS IS OLD AND OUTDATED SOOO.....
Or at least find a better quality verison, or recreate it.
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That Anonymous Guy
Forum Regular

Posts: 148

« Reply #27 on: February 14, 2013, 10:09:27 PM »

Let's hire Niki Minaj to connect with the American Youth.
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ol'fido
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,878
Unit: DOTCOTE.

« Reply #28 on: February 15, 2013, 12:02:00 AM »

Top  choices:

1. Ride of the Valkyries. Wagner.
2. There she goes. Manfred Mann
3. We Gotta Get Outta this Place. The Animals
4. Satisfaction. Rolling Stones
5. Ballad of the Green Berets. Barry Sadler
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Lt. Col. Randy L. Mitchell
Historian, Group 1, IL-006
Luis R. Ramos
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,520

« Reply #29 on: February 15, 2013, 09:37:06 AM »

Ol'Fido-

Are you sure about the Ride of the Valkyries? Wagner???

I love it, but programs made by Discover, Military History, and other channels still associate Wagner with the Nazi regime. And what is the one they choose when the Luftwaffe is shown bombing Poland and their initial success? And the Panzers rolling?

Ride of the Valkyries!

I can imagine it now, a video of our airplanes taking off, to the tune of Ride! Maybe start with a CAP Flightline Marshaler pointing or issuing other directions with the beginning airs... Then cut to a Cessna taking off... For the second stanza or verse cut to a CAP van with a Ground Team...

I have to stop as I am at work and my imagination runs wild fast... I may get one of those movie programs and create one...

Flyer
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will3947
Recruit

Posts: 44
Unit: RMR-ID-073

« Reply #30 on: February 15, 2013, 08:12:02 PM »

That's it!
 WE NEED A SONG AND I WANT PEOPLE TO LIST OUT THE POTENTIAL SONGS!
1. Ride of The Valkryes Nah, Screw it.
2. Fortunate Son.
3. We gotta get out of this place.
4. Transformers- Arrival to Earth :D
5. Gangnam Style (KIDDING)
6. ???
You decide
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will3947
Recruit

Posts: 44
Unit: RMR-ID-073

« Reply #31 on: February 15, 2013, 08:13:23 PM »

WAIT WAIT WAIT!
TOP GUN THEME!
 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
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Al Sayre
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,512
Unit: SER-MS-001

Mississippi Wing
« Reply #32 on: February 15, 2013, 09:03:57 PM »

^^^ Can't do that, the Safety guys don't want us anywhere near the Danger Zone... ;D
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Lt Col Al Sayre
MS Wing Staff Dude
Admiral, Great Navy of the State of Nebraska
GRW #2787
BillB
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,985

« Reply #33 on: February 15, 2013, 09:25:05 PM »

The current "we are the CAP" or whatever, causes hair lose
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Gil Robb Wilson # 19
Gil Robb Wilson # 104
That Anonymous Guy
Forum Regular

Posts: 148

« Reply #34 on: February 15, 2013, 09:38:29 PM »

WAIT WAIT WAIT!
TOP GUN THEME!
 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
HIGHWAY TO THA DANGAAAAA ZONE!
We need lyrics. I'll start it off, "From the Halls of the Capitol Building,Tto the Shores of NYC; We will educate the public about aerospace." That's all I got
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will3947
Recruit

Posts: 44
Unit: RMR-ID-073

« Reply #35 on: February 16, 2013, 02:38:00 AM »

ok, we need to work on that.
FOR SURE
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ol'fido
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,878
Unit: DOTCOTE.

« Reply #36 on: February 16, 2013, 07:55:48 PM »

Ol'Fido-

Are you sure about the Ride of the Valkyries? Wagner???

I love it, but programs made by Discover, Military History, and other channels still associate Wagner with the Nazi regime. And what is the one they choose when the Luftwaffe is shown bombing Poland and their initial success? And the Panzers rolling?

Ride of the Valkyries!

I can imagine it now, a video of our airplanes taking off, to the tune of Ride! Maybe start with a CAP Flightline Marshaler pointing or issuing other directions with the beginning airs... Then cut to a Cessna taking off... For the second stanza or verse cut to a CAP van with a Ground Team...

I have to stop as I am at work and my imagination runs wild fast... I may get one of those movie programs and create one...

Flyer
Imagine if you will, fifty or sixty Cessna172s coming in low out of the rising sun in perfect combat formation. The door gunners are checking their guns and the enemy is running around in panic at the sight.....Sorry, flashbacks you know. Rent or download Apocalypse Now.
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Lt. Col. Randy L. Mitchell
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will3947
Recruit

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Unit: RMR-ID-073

« Reply #37 on: February 16, 2013, 11:17:00 PM »

This is too epic of a topic to leave.....lets keep working on it. We need some lyrics for the....
TOP GUN THEME
 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
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Luis R. Ramos
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,520

« Reply #38 on: February 27, 2013, 01:17:04 PM »

Ol' Fido-

And behind the Cessnas come...

The gliders... the gliders!

Flyer
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johnnyb47
Seasoned Member

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Van Dyke Cadet Squadron
« Reply #39 on: February 27, 2013, 01:36:35 PM »

Theme song candidate?
The Donut Song
 >:D
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Capt
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Luis R. Ramos
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 2,520

« Reply #40 on: February 27, 2013, 02:51:15 PM »

The new CAP song (use the tune We Got Donuts posted by Johnny)

We got missions! We got missions, got missions!! GOT MISSIONS!!!
  For the city the state and THE NATION!!
 
We got planes. We got planes got planes GOT PLANES!
  To take cadets help the nation fo'ever FO'EVER!

We got cadets. We got cadets got cadets GOT CADETS!
  To learn to serve to help TO HELP!

If you like it, give me credit. If ya don't, well, blame it on a rainy day in Brooklyn, NY...

Flyer
« Last Edit: February 27, 2013, 02:55:34 PM by flyer333555 » Logged

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Black Knight
Recruit

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« Reply #41 on: April 12, 2013, 11:50:57 AM »

Heres one I read about a guy in the Air Force:
"One day, there were animals. on the end of the runway. My 1st Sergeant came over and told me to fix the problem. So I ran out to the runway. The animals wouldn't go away, so I started to flap my arms. Next thing I know a voice comes over the loudspeaker: 'Attention to  the airman at the end of the runway, you are cleared for take off' "
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C/CMSgt Millson
First Sergeant
Rome City School District Cadet Squadron
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Garibaldi
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Sandy Springs Cadet Squadron
« Reply #42 on: April 12, 2013, 06:03:28 PM »

Heres one I read about a guy in the Air Force:
"One day, there were animals. on the end of the runway. My 1st Sergeant came over and told me to fix the problem. So I ran out to the runway. The animals wouldn't go away, so I started to flap my arms. Next thing I know a voice comes over the loudspeaker: 'Attention to  the airman at the end of the runway, you are cleared for take off' "

Saw that in Reader's Digest...still funny.
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You can't take the sky from me. Also, I can kill you with my brain. No power in the 'verse can stop me.
Black Knight
Recruit

Posts: 36
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« Reply #43 on: April 12, 2013, 06:46:32 PM »

Heres one I read about a guy in the Air Force:
"One day, there were animals. on the end of the runway. My 1st Sergeant came over and told me to fix the problem. So I ran out to the runway. The animals wouldn't go away, so I started to flap my arms. Next thing I know a voice comes over the loudspeaker: 'Attention to  the airman at the end of the runway, you are cleared for take off' "

Saw that in Reader's Digest...still funny.
Oh thats where I found it. I couldn't remember earlier...
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C/CMSgt Millson
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a2capt
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« Reply #44 on: November 20, 2013, 09:48:44 PM »

I can so see this happening ...
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Webster
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Unit: MS-072

« Reply #45 on: April 24, 2014, 03:52:20 PM »

It was graduation day of my basic Encampment and it was very cold (in my opinion). We had just gotten done with pass and review when we headed back to get ready for graduation. Well, being as cold as I was, I chose to add an additional layer of warmth by putting on another pair long underwear. Twas a clever idea, but in the process of adding the additional layer I had to remove my dress blues pants. Naturally, I didn’t want my pants to be filthy so I place them neatly on the nearby HVAC unit (Heating, Ventilation, Air-Conditioning). To my dismay, that evil monster sucked my pants out of sight, and towards rapidly turning blades. 10 minutes till graduation. So I took advantage of my opportunity to run around outside without pants and went and fetched an active duty civil-engineer who, in the most awkward circumstance, stopped the hungry blades from devouring my pants. I was then instructed to poke my head into to the dark, dusty, home of spiders to retrieve my pants, and I did. No surprise, they were coated in grime just as I. At this point graduation is 5 minutes away. And my wingman had left and gone to the auditorium. Never run in blues they say. Well I did and it felt good.
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HGjunkie
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« Reply #46 on: April 24, 2014, 07:44:58 PM »

Wait, were you in Golf flight or are you the other brother?
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Webster
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« Reply #47 on: April 25, 2014, 04:01:43 PM »

GFLT! Haha Yep! That was me!
« Last Edit: April 25, 2014, 06:10:20 PM by Webster » Logged
Webster
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« Reply #48 on: April 25, 2014, 04:39:13 PM »

Captain Cowan? :o
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HGjunkie
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« Reply #49 on: April 25, 2014, 06:22:07 PM »

 >:D Hey Webster, I remember this incident a lot better now. Haha, live and learn. That was quite the story afterwards...
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Webster
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« Reply #50 on: April 26, 2014, 02:24:37 PM »

Haha at the time i was scared to death!
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AlphaSigOU
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The Kwaj Drafter!
« Reply #51 on: April 27, 2014, 05:13:41 PM »

Theme song candidate?
The Donut Song
 >:D

Kill me now... but bury me with a couple of dozen Krispy Kremes! :D
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Lt Col Charles E. (Chuck) Corway, CAP
Gill Robb Wilson Award (#2901 - 2011)
Amelia Earhart Award (#1257 - 1982) - C/Major (retired)
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Administrative/Personnel/Professional Development Officer
Nellis Composite Squadron (PCR-NV-069)
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Merkava
Newbie

Posts: 3
Unit: FL-044

« Reply #52 on: September 09, 2014, 05:36:18 PM »

Lol, here's something funny that happened to me this past Sunday.
There was a baseball game at the Tropicana Field in Tampa, FL. The Tampa Bay Rays were playing against the Baltimore Orioles, the latter won btw with 7 - 6 on the scoreboard. It was a sad game.[/size][/font][/color]

Anyway, the Ray's mascot comes out onto the field during a switch out and saunters over to one of the security guards standing there with his back facing the mascot. After a couple wiggles and awkward moves, the "animal like" mascot walks right up to the guard and flashes his shirt to show his big round belly. Then he saunters back to the benches. Everyone next to me were choking in laughter, and I noticed that one guard had his head in his hands, shaking it.

Not 15 min later, the "animal" walks into the special ticket row that had a buffet to go with the deal. He stared at the table, looking from end to end. Then out of the blue, he walks up to a grill with hot dogs, picks one up and aims at the crowd, scanning it with his free furry finger. Before either of my friends or I realized, that thing was flying toward us like a dog out of the furnace. It smacked into the cadet right next to me, bounced off, hit me, bounced off again, hit the guy next to me, bounced off and hit our Squadron's Cadet Commander square on the left cheek. Of course he reacted by smacking it off and initiating the "hot potato" game. It eventually landed in the aisle in front of us. That was the most craziest thing I had ever seen, and we just couldn't stop laughing.

Of course someone had to make a joke about the fact that I was there: "He threw that pork sausage at us because he knew you were Jewish." Of course I found that hilarious.
But that wasn't the end of it. 20 min later, he picked up a brick like package of 10 hot dogs and aimed at the crowd again. If a lady hadn't showed up and halted the scene, we would have a had an army of hot dogs flying toward us lol!

I have never, in my life, experienced something like this at a baseball game!  ;D :o
« Last Edit: September 09, 2014, 09:48:05 PM by MIKE » Logged
C/CMSgt. Joshua M.A. Buck
Squadron First Sergeant
Color Guard: State Flag + Backup Commander

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."  - Albert Einstein
Merkava
Newbie

Posts: 3
Unit: FL-044

« Reply #53 on: September 09, 2014, 05:40:33 PM »

Oh, btw. Does anyone know exactly what the Ray's mascot is? Here is an excerpt from their website on this bizarre "animal":

In early 1998, Rays scouts on a fishing trip in the Gulf of Mexico spotted a strange looking animal. The creature, apparently drawn to the boat by the smell of hot dogs on the hibachi, climbed aboard and soon won the scouts over with his silly antics. During the excitement, a scout had a brilliant idea: make this fun loving fuzz ball the mascot for the new baseball team. "Raymond" as the scouts dubbed him, immediately accepted their contract offer of all the hot dogs he could eat, all the high fives he could handle, and the ability to shake his groove thing to countless Tampa Bay fans.
Raymond's animal-like appearance causes confusion among fans of all ages. His fuzzy face is similar to a walrus and his bulbous blue belly likens him to a mutant manatee. So what exactly is he?
In 2005 marine biologists and zoologists made a startling discovery; Raymond is actually a previously undiscovered species of dog known as "Canus Manta Whatthefluffalus" or in layman's terms, a Seadog. Seadogs have all the traits of normal dogs. They enjoy going for walks, playing with kids, and fetching. Unlike other dogs they are five to six feet tall, walk upright, are blue in color, and chase catfish. While other dogs live on land, Seadogs usually live in or around the water. Seadogs are well known for their fun-loving nature, passion for baseball, and general good looks.
« Last Edit: September 09, 2014, 09:49:40 PM by MIKE » Logged
C/CMSgt. Joshua M.A. Buck
Squadron First Sergeant
Color Guard: State Flag + Backup Commander

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."  - Albert Einstein
Simplex
Member

Posts: 85

« Reply #54 on: September 16, 2014, 12:37:07 PM »

Great stuff....always good for a laugh! Thanks.
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Merkava
Newbie

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Unit: FL-044

« Reply #55 on: September 16, 2014, 01:05:11 PM »

Yeah. I just thought I would enter that as a beginner since I'm relatively new to this community thing for CAP. Never new it existed in all my time spent in CAP. But hey, I may have more to tell if I can rack my brain and remember.
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C/CMSgt. Joshua M.A. Buck
Squadron First Sergeant
Color Guard: State Flag + Backup Commander

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."  - Albert Einstein
AirmanAwesome
Newbie

Posts: 3
Unit: PCR-WA-019

« Reply #56 on: March 05, 2015, 06:55:01 PM »

Me and a  female Basic talking about japanese food at Olympic Airshow.

C/AB: I've never eaten tentacles before.
Me: Really?
C/Msgt: Thought you said something else..
Me: What could you mistake "tentacles" for?
C/Msgt: I thought she said she had never eaten testicles before..
Me: *quietly* oooohhhhh
C/AB: Oh my god..

 :clap:  8)  gg C/Msgt!!
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C/Amn, Civil Air Patrol
SSCS
8)
Airplane girl
Member

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« Reply #57 on: March 06, 2015, 09:07:47 PM »

That reminds me of something that happened at my school in 4th grade...

One day in gym, the teacher was explaining a game we were about to play. Since it was gym, it involved balls. A couple of boys for some reason thought the word balls was hilarious. So they started giggling. They got in big trouble with the teacher and had to go to the lower school office. When they came back, my gym teacher (who has a Scottish accent, by the way) asked one of the boys to explain what balls were to the class. So he got up in front of everyone. He looked at us. We looked at him. And then in a very serious voice, he declared TENTACLES!

I go to a K-12 school, and 4 years later we still all remember this. And yes, we were in 4th grade.
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Dank Meme Master
C/Cool
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« Reply #58 on: March 06, 2015, 09:58:19 PM »

This thread is starting to get a little bit inappropriate...   :)
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Garibaldi
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Sandy Springs Cadet Squadron
« Reply #59 on: March 07, 2015, 07:44:28 AM »

Just as I thought...cadets CAN police themselves...  :o
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PHall
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« Reply #60 on: March 07, 2015, 12:48:32 PM »

Just as I thought...cadets CAN police themselves...  :o

If they're allowed to. ::)
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TexasBEAST
Member

Posts: 64
Unit: Alpha SAR

« Reply #61 on: March 19, 2015, 06:49:23 PM »

My name is Steven, and I had a supervisor on-shift at work today named Brian. We each sold some widgets at a great premium price early during the shift today, so the sup announced on the radio that we were "Team BS".

We saw a female co-worker nodding her head up and down and grinning from ear to ear at that.

Then Brian expounded on his earlier comment, "Of course, that's 'BS' for 'Best Sellers'."

The female co-worker made the thumbs-down sign and shook her head sideways.

At that point, I pointed out that the sup was forgetting about one of my buddies named Gilbert. I told him that that would actually make us "Team BSG . . . or Battlestar Galactica."

The radio went silent for several seconds.

And then Brian remarked, "You WOULD say something like that!"
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--TB
calebtornado12
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Posts: 49
Unit: RMR-ID-073

« Reply #62 on: May 25, 2016, 08:29:26 PM »

Alright, I've got a good one for y'all. A few weeks back, my flight received around 12 new cadets that just graduated our "New Cadet Program," and I was addressing them outside at this point. Here's what went down.

In total, I had about 25 cadets in the flight and we were outside, so i needed to raise my voice quite a bit so that everyone could hear me. Now.... being the growing teenager I am, sometimes yelling in general is a bad idea considering what can happen.

So we are standing in the flight, and I'm addressing all the cadets on how their chain of command works and who they need to contact and stuff like that. At the end of each statement, I would say "Is that understood?" but in a louder way, and the proper reply would normally be "Yes Sergeant."

So at the end of this final statement, I had been speaking for a long time at this point, and my throat was getting tired, and I asked one more time, "Is that understood?" But this one was different... I had been saying this one a bit louder than the others, when suddenly, on the "-Stood" part of "understood" my voice cracked in a way that I personally like to say was "majestic,"  8) but according to some other cadets, my voice "sounded like a piccolo being beaten by a rubber chicken."

I now have a new nickname in the squadron known by all.... "Sergeant Squeaky"

Oh, and did I mention, the majority of our Senior Staff was their to witness it.  ;D

   
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C/2nd Lt. Caleb Bryant
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JeffDG
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« Reply #63 on: May 25, 2016, 10:30:09 PM »

C/Msgt: I thought she said she had never eaten testicles before..
We called them Prairie Oysters.
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SarDragon
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« Reply #64 on: May 25, 2016, 10:34:05 PM »

Re: Sgt Squeaky - that's a classic call sign assignment. You don't pick your own; it gets picked for you. And, the more you complain, the more it stick with you.
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Dave Bowles
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calebtornado12
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« Reply #65 on: May 25, 2016, 10:49:29 PM »

Re: Sgt Squeaky - that's a classic call sign assignment. You don't pick your own; it gets picked for you. And, the more you complain, the more it stick with you.

I didn't give that to myself? That was given to me... And yes, the more complaining that happens, the worse it will get. I personally don't have a problem with that name, but I've seen other have that problem.
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C/2nd Lt. Caleb Bryant
Boise Composite Flight Commander
RMR-ID-073
Off we go, into the 'Wild Blue Yonder'...
SarDragon
Global Moderator

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« Reply #66 on: May 25, 2016, 11:23:59 PM »

Re: Sgt Squeaky - that's a classic call sign assignment. You don't pick your own; it gets picked for you. And, the more you complain, the more it stick with you.

I didn't give that to myself? That was given to me... And yes, the more complaining that happens, the worse it will get. I personally don't have a problem with that name, but I've seen other have that problem.

Never said you did. I was just pointing out, for the benefit of others, how call signs work. Not everyone, particularly cadets, knows the drill.
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Dave Bowles
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calebtornado12
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« Reply #67 on: May 26, 2016, 05:15:38 PM »

Ah alright sir, sorry about that.
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C/2nd Lt. Caleb Bryant
Boise Composite Flight Commander
RMR-ID-073
Off we go, into the 'Wild Blue Yonder'...
grunt82abn
Seasoned Member

Posts: 201

« Reply #68 on: May 27, 2016, 12:44:10 AM »

If any wants additional "Tid bits "O" Humor" go check out the barrel role post. Hilarious!!! ;D ;D ;D
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Sean Riley, TSGT
US Army 1987 to 1994, WIARNG 1994 to 2008
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SarDragon
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« Reply #69 on: May 27, 2016, 01:23:04 AM »

If any wants additional "Tid bits "O" Humor" go check out the barrel role post. Hilarious!!! ;D ;D ;D

I'd rather have a leading role. Better marquee position.  >:D
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Dave Bowles
Maj, CAP
AT1, USN Retired
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C/WO, CAP, Ret
DakRadz
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« Reply #70 on: May 27, 2016, 07:25:26 PM »

If any wants additional "Tid bits "O" Humor" go check out the barrel role post. Hilarious!!! ;D ;D ;D

I'd rather have a leading role. Better marquee position.  >:D

Ain't that the truth!

Glad I could oblige ;)
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Mordecai
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,076
Unit: SI

« Reply #71 on: November 14, 2017, 12:41:13 PM »

A long while ago:

Me: I'd like to implement a CRM system for the squadron. What are your thoughts?
Pilot: A CRM system for the squadron? That's a little extreme, don't you think?
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CAP Talk  |  Operations  |  Tall Tales  |  Topic: "Tid bits "O" Humor"
 


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