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October 17, 2018, 08:23:53 AM
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CAP Talk  |  General Discussion  |  Membership  |  Topic: Separation of Parent/Seniors & their Cadet
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Author Topic: Separation of Parent/Seniors & their Cadet  (Read 1444 times)

Posts: 2
Unit: NER-MA-071

« on: September 13, 2017, 02:14:51 PM »

Hello all,

This topic has been spoken on in years past but not this specific question: Is there a specific CAP regulation outlining the separation of Cadets and their Parent as a Senior? Ff a parent of a cadet joins CAP as a Senior, at what times are they not to be directly involved with their Cadet/child's CAP career? We have all seen issues where parents, who are Seniors, try to get directly involved in their Cadets promotion track, nominating their kid for awards/honors and not toeing the line of Parent/Senior Member and Kid/Cadet.

I've been looking for a specific CAPR, but cannot seem to find one. Does anyone know if one exists?
Too Much Free Time Award

Posts: 29,049

« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2017, 02:40:39 PM »

There are no rules restricting parents from interacting with their child-cadets other then
common sense, best practice, and the desire of most parents to want to insure there is never
any suspicion of impropriety.

In some units, due to staffing issues, it would be nearly impossible to run things if a parent/CC
could not interact with their cadet.

In a perfect world, you'd like to see a parent disconnected as much as possible, at least in regards to
things like promotions and testing.

Майор Хаткевич
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Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 6,072
Unit: GLR-IL-049

« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2017, 03:00:08 PM »

In most of the examples I saw, issues arose when a parent was deeply involved with their cadet, and were a non factor when "appearance of impropriety" was a factor in decision making.
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 915

« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2017, 03:23:28 PM »

A few years ago me and another SM both had kids in the program.  He was CC and I was CDC.  Neither of us were involved in our child's promotions, awards, or staff positions.  It It came time for my child to be interviewed for a staff position or whatever I would leave the room and he would take my place.  We also always had others involved in the decision-making processes to do our best to not give the appearance of favoritism.

Unfortunately no matter how hard you try, there will always be people who will loudly proclaim that you are showing favoritism to your child. 

Posts: 4,956
Unit: of issue

« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2017, 03:37:36 PM »

I recently had a cadet intimate that the Cadet Commander was solely selected because his dad was one of the seniors.

NVM that the cadet was a) higher in grade; b) a better leadership model; c) demonstrably better under evaluation.. No, no that had *nothing* to do with it. Had to be the fact that dad was the deputy commander for seniors. (and went to lengths to insulate himself from any potential improprieties, anyway)

If you're above board about things, its not an issue. For example, our track record for selecting a cadet commander over the last several years demonstrates how it occurs in a fairly obvious way.  Its not like you get to magically insert someone totally unqualified into the process because their parent is a senior.

The harder thing is new parent senior and new cadet, and mom or dad don't get that their "lane" doesn't involve Timmy going VFR direct to them, and them going VFR direct to the commander to short-circuit some aspect of the process.  I usually solve that with "Cadet Tommy is in the same boat, did you advocate similarly for Cadet Tommy alongside your son? No?  Why not?  His mom isn't here to run interference for him.."

One night I brought in a load of cadet uniforms for inprocessing night and put them on the table in the drill hall for inprocessing. We had an enterprising Cadet Sponsor Member start pawing thru them like it was Black Friday shopping.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, Timmy needs a second set of BDUs for encampment."

<pointing> "And all those new cadets right there who we're about to take money and membership paperwork from don't even have a first set yet. Those uniforms are for them first.  This is not a free-for-all.  The minute you walk in here, Cadet Timmy isn't your progeny absent some sort of cadet protection or safety issue.  All of these cadets should get the same opportunities whether they have a parent in the program or not. Get it?"

Darin Ninness, Lt Col, CAP
Sq Bubba, Wing Dude, National Guy
I like to have Difficult Adult Conversations™
The contents of this post are Copyright © 2007-2018 by NIN. All rights are reserved. Specific permission is given to quote this post here on CAP-Talk only.
Salty & Seasoned Contributor

Posts: 1,881

« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2017, 11:37:14 PM »

It goes both ways: sometimes the cadet works twice as hard just because Mom or Dad are members, to avoid any appearance of favoritism.

When my son and I were in the same squadron, I kept as much distance between us as possible.

Posts: 56

« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2017, 03:36:15 PM »

It goes both ways: sometimes the cadet works twice as hard just because Mom or Dad are members, to avoid any appearance of favoritism.

When my son and I were in the same squadron, I kept as much distance between us as possible.

I am not sure how applicable this is to the CAP Cadet side of things, but when I was a Boy Scout, for a while my dad was my Scoutmaster...and he was harder on me than he was on any other kid in the troop.

He later admitted that he took it too far because he did not want to be accused of favouritism.
Whaddaya mean I ain't kind?  I'm just not YOUR kind!

Ex-CAP Captain, now CG Auxiliary, but still feel a great deal of affection for the many good people in CAP.
Seasoned Member

Posts: 281
Unit: MER-NC-048

« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2017, 08:10:32 PM »

I know I'm chiming in a little late, but I just saw this and it intrigued me.  Here's my own experience as a parent and Senior Member with my son in the program as a cadet.

I am active in our squadron's cadet program and attend cadet meetings every week I'm available.  Now that my son can drive, it's a little easier for him to be active and get to the meetings without relying on me for a ride.

Here's what I will not do:

1. I won't actively advocate for him for any award or promotion.  I insist on his accomplishments being on his own merit and his ability to network with the other Seniors.  I don't sell him up.

2. I won't proctor his milestone tests or evaluate his PSA reports.  I actively make every effort to prevent an impression of favoritism or nepotism.

3. I don't let him call me Dad or joke around with me in our usual manner while we're in uniform.  He gets the same treatment as every other cadet.

What I will do:

1. Attend cadet activities as a Senior member with him.

2. Guide and mentor him just as I would with any other cadet.

3. Take him flying with me as circumstances are appropriate (i.e. Flying to an event).

There are no regulations whatsoever that restricts a parent's involvement in the program if they are a member.  There are, of course, restrictions if they are not a member.  The name of the game is not to give the cadet spawn any favoritism.  It becomes very obvious very quickly, and it makes the program more difficult for that cadet spawn if the other cadets perceive favoritism.
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CAP Talk  |  General Discussion  |  Membership  |  Topic: Separation of Parent/Seniors & their Cadet

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