Favorite quotes

[♠SARKID♠]

"Some people are like slinkys. They aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

[SarDragon]

"My mind doesn't just wander, it gallops erratically."

Me

[nesagsar]

Fun quotes

It's beutifull man!
-ATS

Ever0changin.
-Com, Law and ethics

Is everyone ready for...CHEERFULL SERVICE! (clap, clap ,clap)
-OA

What is the admonition?
Is that some sort of a password or something?
-OA

You do realize that your inability to find reciepts when you need them will lead to your inevitable downfall right?
-Halo 3 launch party

I cant preorder it right now Abbey.
But why not?
You know we love you Abbey.
I get the feeling that most people are lying to me when they say that.
Only 15 percent.
That makes me feel better.
-Halo 3 launch party

I hope you like pie!
-Halo 2 beatdown

Tampons are essential first aid tools.
-Shawn H

Can I poke it?
-Scott O

Oh god I wish I had teddy bears!
-Abbey

This serves no purpose whatsoever.
Yeah it does, its entertaining!
-Abbey and Scott

Well I like rolo's but I never [censored] about it.
-Shawn H

...Seggendo in piuma
in fama non si vien, né sotto coltre,
sanza la qual chi sua vita consuma
cotal vestigo in terra di sé lascia
qual fummo in aere ed in acqua la schiuma.
-Divinia Comedia

"Silence fills the empty grave, now that I am gone. But my mind is not at rest, for questions linger on. I will ask, and you will answer."
-Halo 2

"This one is machine and nerve, and has its mind concluded. This one is but flesh and faith, and is the more deluded."
-Halo 2

When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-shmancy tanks, we had sticks...two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon. And we had to share the rock! Buck up, boy! You're one very lucky Marine!"
-Halo 2

Three hours ago, this man was in a battle. Two hours ago we operated on him. He's got a fifty-fifty chance. We win some, we lose some. That's what it's all about... no promises, no guaranteed survival... no 'saints in surgical garb.' Our willingness, our experience, our technique are not enough. Guns and bombs and anti-personnel mines have more power to take life than we have to preserve it. Not a very happy ending to a movie. But then again, no war is a movie.
-MASH

There are certain rules about a war. Rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is doctors can't change rule number one.
-MASH

Theres no crying in manland!
-Cathy F

Don't dream it, be it
-RHPS

Hey I think someone just shot a torpedo at us!
-Hunt for Red October

Due to the number of people bored last Sunday, next Sunday will be canceled.
-MASH

A member of an elite paramilitary organization: "Eagle Scouts."
-Red Dawn

I'm a wild and an untamed thing.
I'm a bee with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping.
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on.
We're gonna shake it `til the life has gone.
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain.

I can save the universe with a kettle and a piece of string, and look at me I'm wearing a vegetable!

Nuggets of wisdom

'I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

'BREAKFST.COM halted . . . cereal port not responding!

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes.  That way, when you criticize him, you are a mile away from him and you have his shoes.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a while lot more as they get older.  Then it dawned on me - they are cramming for their final exam.

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?

Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Quantum mechanics:  The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

How many of you believe in telekinesis?  Raise my hand...

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Warning:  Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Consciousness:  that annoying time between naps.

Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

When you do a good deed get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

I'm not just a gardener; I'm a Plant Manager.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Someday we'll look back on all this.  And while we're looking we'll probably plow into a parked car.

Someday my ship is going to come in.  I'll probably be at the airport when it does.

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things.  Right now, I am so far behind I'll live forever.

I live in my own little world, but it's okay...they know me here.

Regular naps prevent old age...especially if you take them while driving.

Sex is hereditary.  If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

If God had intended for man to use the metric system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples!

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

If you mix Rogaine with Viagra the result is hair like Don King.

If American mothers feed their little children with tiny spoons and forks, what do Chinese mothers use?  Toothpicks?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I am a nobody.  Nobody is perfect.  Therefore I am perfect.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is it that if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you have to touch it to be sure?

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on
your computer." .

"Cats are smarter than dogs.  You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
through snow."

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you
later."

"There are many intelligent species in the universe.  They are all owned by
cats."

Dogs believe they are human.  Cats believe they are God.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

Love thy neighbor.
But don't get caught.

Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop.

Children in backseats cause accidents.
Accidents in backseats cause children.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat word
for word what you shouldn't have said.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be
a horrible warning.

I love cooking with wine.  Sometimes I even use it in the food. 

The secret to life. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

[isuhawkeye]

^ What? 

[Gunner C]

^ What? 

Ditto

[lordmonar]

"It's what we do"

C/SrA R. Whiting

[jeders]

"It's what we do"

C/SrA R. Whiting

Definitely my new favorite CAP quote.