Those "Pesky" Cadets, and their Parents: Yes, I plan on coming back

Started by TheSkyHornet, March 23, 2017, 08:47:17 PM

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TheSkyHornet

Scenario:
Cadet Snowflake is absent for several weeks and does not communicate. No attendance communicated. No performance in his duty position. The cadet shows up finally one day. "Sorry, I was grounded and had schoolwork. I promise I'll be around more." A few weeks go by, same issue. "Sorry, I had band practice." A few more weeks go by. Okay, time to drop Cadet Snowflake from his duty position. Randomly one day, he shows back up. Same gig. You've been there before. A disappearance for several weeks. Nothing. Hmmm, still not showing up. It's been two months. Contact mom. "Oh yeah, Snowflake will be back in a few weeks."

At what point do you just say, "Okay, enough?" The cadet really doesn't affect anything on the roster, other than his element leader contacting him each week for attendance, and, as always, no reply.

On one side, there's the attendance policy: You either show up and participate, or we start to initiate action to remove you from the roster. On the other side, what's the big deal, aside from bringing down performance numbers.

Obviously, as you may have guessed, this is an issue we face, not just with one cadet, but with several. On top of that, you have the parents who creep back in and become furious when you even suggest that there are consequences for not showing up. "I paid the membership fee. You have no right to say he can't come back when he wants to." 12 excuses later....

Our Wing does have a supplemental memo to the regulation that we do not 2B our members for such issues, but we notify Wing about it so they can transfer them and handle it from there. I guess the intent is to avoid "kicking out" people that end up returning and have to go back through the process of rejoining CAP; I dunno.

We're not out to anger anyone, nor create extra work. But at the same time, lightening the load wouldn't be too bad.

What's the general consensus on these issues from other units, just to get a vibe as to what goes on elsewhere in the community?

NIN

For cadets,  it's essential a "flip of the switch" up to 2 years later.

Hey,  I get it,  you're busy.

Up front we say "The Civil Air Patrol Cadet program is participatory.  You get out of it what you put in.  The cadet oath even says 'attend meetings regularly'. If you're a tourist or a dilettante, maybe this isn't the place for you."



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Darin Ninness, Col, CAP
I have no responsibilities whatsoever
I like to have Difficult Adult Conversations™
The contents of this post are Copyright © 2007-2024 by NIN. All rights are reserved. Specific permission is given to quote this post here on CAP-Talk only.

Spam

I've never had that level of difficulty here (nor heard of it). I suspect that part of the solution lies in managing expectations right from the start:

One tradition I started many years ago was having the new cadet sworn in (palm upward) by myself or my Deputy, during closing, with the unit at attention behind him/her and with his parents present (taking photos, sometimes). Hearing the words of the Cadet Oath spoken in front of witnesses, he/she/parents then hear me emphasize several aspects:
"attend unit meetings REGULARLY"
"participate ACTIVELY"
"advance my education and training RAPIDLY"
...etc, you get the picture.


Then, we introduce mutual accountability in our training flight slides, where we teach the GTM standard call down/call up task *(we require all new cadets to pass four ES tasks to earn their unit patch: hot wx safety, cold wx safety, actions on lost, and calldown, all of which are applicable to a wide range of CAP events). We couple that with my Commanders Guidance that 3 things are vastly more important than CAP: ones faith, ones family, and ones job/school, and that it is completely excusable (with request/notice) to focus on those priorities, as long as you let us know and are accountable.


Then we reinforce that accountability concept with mandated participation in a weekly calldown every SUN/MON night from flight staff, with consolidated reporting via Google docs.


Finally, the enforcement via progressive discipline. We do remove members from staff positions after a first verbal counseling, and then a formal review board (Form 50 documentation). Over the past couple of years of my current command tour, I think I've relieved several, mostly due to grades, a couple for disciplinary reasons/nonperformance. Almost all came back strong, and not one parent complained at all (actually, several thanked us).


I have never 2Bd a cadet for lack of attendance, although I've refused them participation in special activities (alone) when they were not upholding the core Cadet Oath (going so far as to contact NHQ/CP to pull them from an NCSA slot). In such cases, I've set a review board which imposed a requirement to resume and maintain active participation and progression before approving 'special' treatment or staff assignments (another e.g., I've twice suspended someone's GTM/GTL rating for cause, and later reinstated both with honor, point made).


Everything can be a teaching moment; at the present it sounds like they may be learning laissez faire participation!


V/r
Spam



Eclipse

Quote from: TheSkyHornet on March 23, 2017, 08:47:17 PM
What's the general consensus on these issues from other units, just to get a vibe as to what goes on elsewhere in the community?

I don't think you're going to find a "consensus" as such, as much due to the allergic reaction many CAP people have to uncomfortable conversations as
to their actual opinion in the matter.

Cadets are kids and will always have competing priorities and activities that conflict, not to mention external pressures from
parents, coaches, and the like.  Nothing says "best interest of the kids" like a coach who insists on "extra" practices that conflict with
holidays and special days cadets might want to "work" elsewhere like a parade.

Occasional absences, with notification and legitimate justification, are going to happen, no biggie,
especially if a cadet is generally progressing, participating, or at least trying, but cadets who treat CAP like a drop-in Rec Center
need to be counseled and usually separated.

The program itself is clear - cadets take an oath to participate and progress, NHQ views 3 missed meetings without justification as a factor for
considering termination for violating the oath in that regard, and 56 days with no promotion is where you begin to take notice in regards to progression
(so while not required or "scheduled", very handy barometers that require attention).  You can't have the latter without the former, as they are interdependent.

They drag down the QCUA and SOM numbers, incur administrative overhead and affect SUIs to no one's advantage, and they certainly
shouldn't be in any position of authority or responsibility, because that sends the decidedly wrong message, and means
"some other dude" has to pick up their slack, which is the exact opposite of the lessons CAP is about.

Unfortunately between inexperienced and negligent CC's, a lot of times the expectations are not properly set before they are even
allowed to join, and mom can legitimately make an issue of something that was never communicated. This is especially troubling
for everyone when a new, experienced CC is appointed and is not beholden to any agreements or compromises his predecessor might
have entertained.


"This CAP thing looks awesome...when do you meet?"

"Tuesdays and most third Saturdays, plus a week or two in the summer for larger activities."

"Well my son has band on Tuesdays, Church Service on Saturdays, and we go to Europe every year from May to August..."

"Unfortunately CAP probably won't be a fit for you as most units meet on Tuesdays, and the one in this wing that meets
on Fridays is 2 hours from your home."

"Friday is family night anyway."

"Alrighty, then come see us when your son's schedule opens up or changes."

"Discrimination!".

Same goes for seniors - there's a reason membership boards are required, and it's the fiduciary responsibility
of a CC to set the expectations properly as well as manage his roster appropriately.  I would have a real issue
with your Wing's supplement as it usurps one of the Unit CC's sacrosanct authorities, but if they are allowing
members to be xferred to 000, then from their it's their problem, so whatever.  The former unit CC would be under
no obligation to accept an absentee cadet back into the roster if they wake up one day and want to be in CAP again.

CAP isn't for everyone, especially every kid, and despite some parents' assertions to the contrary, kids can't do
"everything they want all the time", life is choice and that simple but important lesson is one of the things that CAP can
impart to it's members, even when it makes people sad.



"That Others May Zoom"

TheSkyHornet

I guess to be a bit more specific, without too many details:

A couple of our "offenders," if that's a way of putting it, are transfers from another unit, the same unit to be more factual. One transferred about two months before the other. Both have been in CAP more than two years, one progressing very slowly and the other one having advanced through the senior C/NCO grades (really, I can't say I know how). I know at their old unit, they were "offenders" as well with similar issues, but that unit was okay with it albeit griping behind the scenes.

I understand that both of these cadets' parents will "ground" them from CAP from time to time, whether due to behavior at home, school, or whatever may be the trigger. I can't say I'm a fan of that philosophy, but that's not my call.

Anyway, these were both not originally our cadets. We welcomed them as transfers; I somewhat expected this to happen knowing them from their former unit. With our new cadets, over the last year, we have done a much better job of stressing to the cadets and their parents that there is the expectation of participation, and those who don't participate will suffer because of it (whether in holding duty positions, promoting, or simply missing out on learning, not to mention the fun surprise activities that may pop up). It's the cadet's loss in most cases. I have seen far less issues from our newer cadets (2016 to present) than I have with, whom I call the "Legacy" cadets before we switched to the Great Start method. Far, far less issues with this.

But those who do have that longer history in CAP and have gotten away with this sort of issue---it's a lot of "that's not fair" from both the cadets and their parents. It's so much easier with an adult, say 40 years old, to go "Look, you volunteered; you signed up. Either show up or quit. We can't count on you to be here." It's tougher with cadets because they don't necessarily understand it at that age, not to make excuses, and their parents are often the reason for it. But still, it's hard to teach leadership and responsibility to someone who isn't there. At the core of the Cadet Program, it's a leadership program, not a hobby club.


We have had the "But Jimmy plays baseball on Thursdays." "Well, that's when our meeting is." "Can he participate on weekends?" "No." That's fairly easy. It's the ones that show up, and then do that sporadic hiatus thing. Four months later: "Oh, no! I'm coming back!" Mhmmm....

Chappie

Whether it be a prospective cadet or senior member, becoming a member in CAP is a privilege and not a right.  As Nin rightly observes (and I think it is an universal principle that we all agree on), "You get out of it, what you put in".   The key words are "commitment" and "participatory".  On the front end, they should be told what is expected of them as a member and should meeting those expectations is a problem due to schedules or other commitments...well, CAP is not for you.  I have "encouraged" more than one member of the Chaplain Corps during my tenures as a Wing and Region Chaplain to find another venue of service if all they wanted to do is wear an uniform and show up for a squadron meeting or activity "whenever the Spirit moved them" or "encouraged" more than one prospective Chaplain or CDI to look for another place to serve in the community when it was apparent that expectations were not attainable.  Bottom Line: CAP is not for everybody.
Disclaimer:  Not to be confused with the other user that goes by "Chappy"   :)

AirAux

IIRC, the regulations state that a school activity will be an acceptable absence.  Some cadets miss months due to sports or band, but then are active the rest of the time.  It is what it is..

NIN

Quote from: AirAux on March 24, 2017, 01:58:28 PM
IIRC, the regulations state that a school activity will be an acceptable absence.  Some cadets miss months due to sports or band, but then are active the rest of the time.  It is what it is..

Sure, and when a cadet comes to us and says "Hey, yeah, I have soccer on Thursdays from now till June.." we go "great, come back when you're done. Good luck, score some goals." or "I have a play that I'm in at school, so I'm going to miss the next 6 Thursdays.." "Super, Shakespeare, keep your element leader in the loop."
Darin Ninness, Col, CAP
I have no responsibilities whatsoever
I like to have Difficult Adult Conversations™
The contents of this post are Copyright © 2007-2024 by NIN. All rights are reserved. Specific permission is given to quote this post here on CAP-Talk only.

THRAWN

Quote from: AirAux on March 24, 2017, 01:58:28 PM
IIRC, the regulations state that a school activity will be an acceptable absence.  Some cadets miss months due to sports or band, but then are active the rest of the time.  It is what it is..

For many of the more motivated and dedicated cadets, CAP is not the only activity that they're involved in. Varsity sports, community theater, volunteer EMS/fire service are common among this group. Find ways to leverage their abilities at the same time allowing them to explore their interests and grow as productive citizens. Just because CAP didn't issue it, doesn't mean that it isn't a worthwhile endeavor. That being said, it is important that the cadets and their families communicate with the unit. I had an Earhart cadet that was just outstanding in every way. He was a qualified GTL, had a role in the wing level ES training activities and encampment, and was also a varsity athlete and lieutenant in his local EMS squad. We found ways to use him and encourage his "outside" activities. It made him a better cadet and took the uncertainty out of the mix when he had to miss meetings while he was competing or saving lives.
Strup-"Belligerent....at times...."
AFRCC SMC 10-97
NSS ISC 05-00
USAF SOS 2000
USAF ACSC 2011
US NWC 2016
USMC CSCDEP 2023

Eclipse

Quote from: AirAux on March 24, 2017, 01:58:28 PM
IIRC, the regulations state that a school activity will be an acceptable absence.  Some cadets miss months due to sports or band, but then are active the rest of the time.  It is what it is..

They also state that cadets are both required to participate, to notify in the event of absence, and that
those same school activities do not absolve other promotion requirements, a major one of which is
"active participation".

CAPR 52-16, Page 14.
http://www.capmembers.com/media/cms/R052_016_2011_02_BFAB729553AB1.pdf
"a. Expectations of Cadets. Cadets are required to participate actively in their local unit if they are
to progress in the Cadet Program. Excessive, unexcused absences may be cause for termination from CAP
(see CAPR 35-3, Membership Termination). Any school-related activity is considered an excused absence.
Cadets are responsible for informing their leaders in advance."


No participation, no progression. No progression & no participation equals "on the bubble".

Yet some parents and cadets think it's perfectly acceptable to show up once a quarter to promote, and
that they should be appointed to important staff roles, even at major activities, simply based on
their check-box participation, and mainly because they are resume-building.

They can't march in a straight line, have no idea what leadership (or even followership) is, and
everyone else picks up their slack.

You want to really break a kid?  Punch his ticket through a diamond and then put him into a position of
authority over other cadets who actually did the work. Cadets are not dumb, they understand these lessons
better then anyone because they are in the middle of it. BTDT, it's not pretty for anyone involved.

CAP opportunities come with expectations.

"That Others May Zoom"

chuckmilam

Quote from: Eclipse on March 24, 2017, 02:30:49 PMYou want to really break a kid?  Punch his ticket through a diamond and then put him into a position of authority over other cadets who actually did the work.
On the other hand, this is a great life lesson about the harsh realities of adult life.

FW

Quote from: Eclipse on March 24, 2017, 02:30:49 PM
CAP opportunities come with expectations.

They sure do, and a cadet who is not communicative with their squadron proactively is looking for problems.  There is an old saying; "If your interested, you make time".  Any member who just disappears for weeks at a time is not really interested in the program.  I'm not buying excuses.  CAP is a commitment, and there are expectations.  Help in achieving them should always be available, however we can't force it.  I have no problem with removing a cadet's membership if all "motivation" attempts fail...

TheSkyHornet

I lean greatly to what Eclipse said, as well as FW, on the point regarding how those school activities and motivations interlink with their CAP participation requirements.

My issue with: "Any school-related activity is considered an excused absence." Okay, how long does that last for?

If you're in the school play this month, and next month you have band every week on our meeting night, and the three months after that sports, and the follow three months the sports of the next season, and then come and tell me during June that you have a family trip out of town.....at some point in here, you're no longer an active member of CAP. There needs to be a line drawn. 

If someone attends for 2 months and is absent for 10 months, are they still a CAP member? So long as they communicate their anticipated absence and keep their membership renewed. That seems to be very subjective. "Hey, I won't be here for the next 6 months." "Okay, no problem. Let us know when you return." After 6 months: "Hey, I won't be here for the next 4 months." Why are you still in CAP at that point? If you don't show up at the meeting for months at a time, and you don't participate in weekend activities (whether squadron-hosted, Wing-hosted, or National-level), and you don't communicate attendance, and then randomly one day say "I plan to come back; I've just been busy," where in there do you cut the loss and just bump them out?


To give another example here, we have a C/CMSgt on our roster who told us well in advance that he wanted to go on hiatus during the early 2017 months due to athletics. He was very active, and wanted to know what his role would be outside of the meeting. "I can participate online." We're not an online program; come on. We keep him in the loop on everything via email, and now and then he still communicates. We had an event one Monday evening; he showed up. We had an event one Saturday evening; he showed up. He can't make Thursdays; fair enough. Depending on how the team does through Spring, he may come back in May, he may come back in June. It is what it is. But when he comes back, I don't see why he can't return to an available duty position. I've had some of the senior cadets say, "He shouldn't get a duty position; he doesn't show up to meeting." I disagree. When he comes back, that's not an issue. He has no record of not participating. 

I have another C/CMSgt who doesn't communicate attendance. Every week, it's "he didn't respond to my email or return my call" from his Element Leader and Flight Sergeant. I know mom from when she was in CAP. We sort of became friends when she was in, but have more or less lost touch since she dropped her membership. Anyway, she straight up told me that her other sons have sports the same night. I asked her, "Is CAP not as important?" "That's right. I have to be there for their games." Fine. It's not my kid. "Is there any way to get him a ride? Dad? Grandma?" No, no, and no, of course. Yet her answer is still "He plans to come back eventually." And that's where this topic comes back into play. He's not the only one in a similar position, but that's a perfect example for this case.

A statement from our Wing memorandum on inactive members:
"Unit Commanders will make a list of members which have been inactive for a period of ninety (90) continuous days....." It goes on to talk about how they will be transferred to an inactive roster and out of the unit.

But that comes with a consequence:
"How dare you kick my son out!"

That statement is much easier responded to on a message board than it is when mom brings her son to the meeting and we have an awkward moment.

So on one end, I get pinged with "Our performance percentages are low because of inactive members," whether safety education, physical fitness, or what have you. On the other end, "We plan on coming back."

At this point, I've basically been told, "We'll do whatever you think we should do." Personally, I vote Gilligan off the island. But there's always that thought in the back of my head of "What if they start showing up again?" It's never happened before. We've 2B'd two cadets in the past for inactivity. Only one of them actually ended up falling off our roster (which was odd), before we realized that there was a Wing instruction specifically not to do that. One of those cadets, we actually ran into before her membership expired, and dad was all excited to start showing back up (they never did of course---it's been 6 months since we last saw them outside of CAP).

Our Group Commander is visiting soon; I'm essentially planning on putting it in his hands (he'll probably read this anyway). But for when we have those periods when he isn't visiting and this discussion isn't as convenient as that, it's a paradox. What to do, what to do.... I'm fine with ditching the cargo, until I get the phone call three days later, "Why did you kick my kid out?!"

Spam


Then your answer could be to play the Vicomte de Valmont: just cite policy. It is, after all, beyond your control.  :)


"But, my son was... but, but butbutbut..." - "Ma'am, CAP and Wing policy clearly direct us to remove nonparticipants to focus our scant volunteer time and effort on cadets who actually are regular, who are participating, and who make CAP their priority". Couple that with "We'd love to have your delightful child back with us, and would consider their application to transfer back into the unit after they demonstrate some consistent attendance for _______ weeks as a visitor, in order to show their commitment to the 'attend unit meetings regularly' element of the Cadet Oath which they swore upon joining".


The world is filled with people who nod and smile, say "Inshallah!" "some day soon!", or such, but who may have little to no intent to actually do as requested (or as they say). In many such cases, "Inshallah", or "I plan on coming back" are equivocal statements which allow the individual to put polite but potentially meaningless noises out of their mouth at you to gain a momentary advantage while persuading themselves that they're in the right. If you've ever dealt with manipulators (hey, go audit any 12 step program!!!) you can see real masters at this. You must preserve the program against the dilettantes, and the manipulators who are raising them, by being firm, and setting the limits that so many American citizens are not being raised to deal with.


So, just nod and smile right back, and tell them that you will be happy to reinstate/request a transfer back from the 000 unit for their dear little child when they've built a record of 90 days (or whatever) of consistent attendance as a visitor.


V/r
Spam




kcebnaes

Quote from: TheSkyHornet on March 24, 2017, 11:14:45 PM
A statement from our Wing memorandum on inactive members:
"Unit Commanders will make a list of members which have been inactive for a period of ninety (90) continuous days....." It goes on to talk about how they will be transferred to an inactive roster and out of the unit.


I don't think I'm your Group CC, but I know I'm in your Wing. If you want to be technical, with the new regulations last year, that Memo is null and void. We currently don't have a supplement regarding that, only about awards and aircraft maintenance. What I suggest is to flat out call the cadet's parents and say if he doesn't start showing up, he'll get the 2b. That way, it doesn't come as a surprise. I'd also advise your Group CC just to be safe.

Sean Beck, Maj, CAP
Great Lakes Region sUAS Officer
Various Other Things™

kwe1009

I know a lot of people are for 2b for cadets who are inactive but what does that really serve?  You now have a young person who will never come back.  I know some will talk about safety currency percentages but I'm more concerned about helping to make cadets better young adults than worrying about a number.  I understand that a cadet can reapply but how many do you think actually go through the trouble of reinstatement?  I think NHQ is dropping the ball here.  Even if the member isn't active, they are giving money to CAP.  If you kick them out then you have less money coming in.  Why would we want to reduce our limited revenue?

Майор Хаткевич

Quote from: kwe1009 on March 25, 2017, 05:15:46 PM
I know a lot of people are for 2b for cadets who are inactive but what does that really serve?  You now have a young person who will never come back.  I know some will talk about safety currency percentages but I'm more concerned about helping to make cadets better young adults than worrying about a number.  I understand that a cadet can reapply but how many do you think actually go through the trouble of reinstatement?  I think NHQ is dropping the ball here.  Even if the member isn't active, they are giving money to CAP.  If you kick them out then you have less money coming in.  Why would we want to reduce our limited revenue?


These cadets hurt metrics. O-flights within 180 days of joining? O-Flight percentages? WBA percentages? Encampment percentages? Have 30 on the roster, but only 15 show up?

EMT-83

It's not about the money. It's about expectations.

If a member, cadet or senior, contributes​ nothing to the organization and there are no consiquenses, what is motivation for the members who are there every week working their butts off?

FW

How many cadets retain membership after 1 year and are inactive?  Do inactive cadets reduce morale in a squadron?  Do active members in a squadron pay "extra" when there are inactive cadets remaining on the roles?  The answers vary from squadron to squadron, and it is the commander's responsibility to determine when, and if a non participating cadet should go.  As had been said, there are no easy answers.  The cadet program develops individuals from followers to leaders.  Participation is mandatory.  Letting someone go because they won't or can't participate is part of that development.  Learning about the consequences of one's actions are all part of life.  Let's not worry about the few dollars lost. I would rather worry about developing a more active cadet corps and future adult leaders of our nation.

kwe1009

Quote from: Майор Хаткевич on March 25, 2017, 05:36:14 PM
Quote from: kwe1009 on March 25, 2017, 05:15:46 PM
I know a lot of people are for 2b for cadets who are inactive but what does that really serve?  You now have a young person who will never come back.  I know some will talk about safety currency percentages but I'm more concerned about helping to make cadets better young adults than worrying about a number.  I understand that a cadet can reapply but how many do you think actually go through the trouble of reinstatement?  I think NHQ is dropping the ball here.  Even if the member isn't active, they are giving money to CAP.  If you kick them out then you have less money coming in.  Why would we want to reduce our limited revenue?


These cadets hurt metrics. O-flights within 180 days of joining? O-Flight percentages? WBA percentages? Encampment percentages? Have 30 on the roster, but only 15 show up?

So what is more important, numbers or developing leaders?  Teenagers go through all sorts of changes and if we kick one out who is going through a time where they won't or can't participate we lose that person forever.  What is the gain to the overall program?  Having some percentages look good?  I'm more concerned about developing good young adults.  That is the metric that should matter.  I have had cadets stop showing up for one reason or another and then magically reappear after a year or more.  Some have went on to be very successful cadets and mentors to other.  If I would have simply 2b'd them then they wouldn't come back.