Something you should never ask......

[cap235629]

WOW. I experienced THE most ignorant question I have ever been asked today. During new employee orientation we were asked if any of us had served in the military. Myself and another coworker told the group about our service. A few minutes later another coworker turned to me and said "So you were in the Military Police" when I replied yes, she then asked me "so did you kill a lot of people?"

I couldn't believe she would ask such an inappropriate question. I replied "I am going to pretend you didn't ask such an ignorant question".

I really wanted to say "no, but the day is still young".

Attention world, it is NEVER appropriate to ask a veteran if they killed anyone or how many people they have killed.

I am NOT a combat veteran so this question did not cause me any anguish but I hate to think how the other former soldier would have felt if he had been asked the same question. He is a 26 year old former Army Ranger who is very quiet and reserved. I am just glad he was in the bathroom when this stupid "lady" showed the world how ignorant she is.....

With many young men and women returning who might show an interest in CAP, please remember this post and frame your questions accordingly

[Eclipse]

Probably more immature then ignorant, that's the kind of thing an 8-year old asks.

Sad either way.

[AngelWings]

Heh, what an A-hole thing to say. Why open the emotional flood gates for someone like that?

[cap235629]

This woman was 35 years old and the mother of 3......

[bosshawk]

I have a favorite saying that covers this: "  We don't need all kinds, we just have them."  After VN and service in Korea, I have been asked this question.  I normally ignore them.

[wuzafuzz]

Such ignorance is easily solved with some gentle education.  As a former cop I've been asked similar questions many times.  Most of the time it was people who were genuinely curious and assume cops are somehow immune to feelings.  They probably make the same assumption, perhaps even more so, for military veterans.

[manfredvonrichthofen]

http://m.youtube.com/index?&desktop_uri=%2F

There is one in the video about the very same question. My daughter asks me a lot.... So do her friends.

I have only been asked a couple of times by adults... Just dumb...

[Garibaldi]

WOW. I experienced THE most ignorant question I have ever been asked today. During new employee orientation we were asked if any of us had served in the military. Myself and another coworker told the group about our service. A few minutes later another coworker turned to me and said "So you were in the Military Police" when I replied yes, she then asked me "so did you kill a lot of people?"

I couldn't believe she would ask such an inappropriate question. I replied "I am going to pretend you didn't ask such an ignorant question".

I really wanted to say "no, but the day is still young".

Attention world, it is NEVER appropriate to ask a veteran if they killed anyone or how many people they have killed.

I am NOT a combat veteran so this question did not cause me any anguish but I hate to think how the other former soldier would have felt if he had been asked the same question. He is a 26 year old former Army Ranger who is very quiet and reserved. I am just glad he was in the bathroom when this stupid "lady" showed the world how ignorant she is.....

With many young men and women returning who might show an interest in CAP, please remember this post and frame your questions accordingly

Not that it really matters, but was it asked with scorn or curiosity? Either way is really really insensitive.

[Bobble]

I really wanted to say "no, but the day is still young".

Good paraphrase of the Billy Crystal - Jack Palance dialogue exchange in "City Slickers" -

Mitch Robbins: Hi Curly. Killed anyone today?

Curly: The day ain't over yet...

I used to get asked that question ("Ever kill anyone?", or something in a similar vein) when I taught HS.  My response was usually (dependent on whether or not I felt the student was able to 'get' sarcasm, it was mostly the wise guys/gals asking the question), "No, but that could change before this period ends."

[Cliff_Chambliss]

Response: 
  "None when I am on my meds".

Then pull pill bottle from pocket, remove lid and pour into palm  oops empty

look at questioner and say "[darn]".

[Pylon]

Probably more immature then ignorant, that's the kind of thing an 8-year old asks.

Sad either way.

I don't think it's limited to 8-year-olds and their intellectual colleagues.  I get asked that question more often than I'd ever have expected.  Perhaps it's some sort of morbid curiosity on part of modern society.  Whatever the reason, it's worse than annoying.

[lgbob]

Most of the time I just ignore the question.  If they are really a pain I tell them I was so far back in the action that I had to read about it in the Stars and Stripes.
Called in a lot of artillary and occasional Sandy drop while in in Nam and Laos so haven't got a clue and really don't care to know if it whacked somebody or not.  Always felt that if someone got whacked, they probably deserved it.  Patton said it best when he said the name of the game wasn't to die for your country, it was for the other dumb bastard to die for his. Even us lifers really wanted to get the year over with and get the hell out of there.

[Stonewall]

Probably more immature then ignorant, that's the kind of thing an 8-year old asks.

Sad either way.

I don't think it's limited to 8-year-olds and their intellectual colleagues.  I get asked that question more often than I'd ever have expected.  Perhaps it's some sort of morbid curiosity on part of modern society.  Whatever the reason, it's worse than annoying.

When I got back from Afghanistan in 2011 and returned to my civilian job, people were either scared to talk to me or they asked those stupid questions.  One guy flat out asked "did you kill anyone".  I answered him just like I answered everyone, "well, it certainly wasn't a vacation".

When I realize people are being genuine, but are reluctant to ask questions, I'll help them along and give them enough information to satisfy their own curiosity.  "It's pretty bad over there and while we came back with everyone, not everyone has all their fingers and toes, or legs.  I'm glad I had the opportunity to experience the war, and I'd go back if the opportunity was afforded to me, but for now I'll just use the experience and knowledge I gained to help prepare the next guys for when it's their turn."

[Flying Pig]

As a poster reads that I have seen a number of times.  "America is not at war, the Marine Corps is at war.  America is at the mall."   (Obiously you can insert any service into that sentence)

[blackrain]

Well.......I had a couple times I thought I might have to in Iraq.....very fortunately I didn't have to. 

Hopefully I can finish out my military career with that record intact.

As for the guy's who have....It DOES affect them. Sometimes not right away but it will eventually in some form.

Definitely an off limits question for all but MAYBE a fellow vet who was in the same wartime environment and as part of helping him or her deal with the after affects of wartime service.

[AngelWings]

The only time I would ask a servicemember if they killed anyone is if they were telling me a bar story... which I've heard one or two before 

[RRLE]

As a never served, I'm surprised that veterans are surprised when they get asked the question. The OP states that he and another fellow discussed their service in front of a group. In war time, the most natural question a civilian will ask is "did you kill or shoot anyone?". That question will probably be followed by "were you shot or wounded?", unless the answer is obvious.

[Garibaldi]

As a never served, I'm surprised that veterans are surprised when they get asked the question. The OP states that he and another fellow discussed their service in front of a group. In war time, the most natural question a civilian will ask is "did you kill or shoot anyone?". That question will probably be followed by "were you shot or wounded?", unless the answer is obvious.

I don't think you quite get it. Taking a life, whether in war or not, is an intensely personal thing. Also as a never-served, I can't speak for anyone who has ever been in the heat of combat, but I'll be da**ed if I ever ask someone if they've taken a life. There is no equivalent. You can't equate that question with anything.

I'd bet that the following are more common questions:

"Did you see any action?"
"Where were you?"
"What did you do?"
"What was it like?"
"What service were you in?"

The only time I've ever come across the question "Did you kill anyone?" was in interviews with Vietnam Vets, who were treated to screams and shouts by protesters when they came home:"How many women and children did you kill?" All I can infer from the post was that the woman may or may not have been anti-war and was asking as a means of scorn for those in uniform. I doubt it was in innocence. You just...don't ask that kind of question unless you're a complete jackass. It shows a level of immaturity, scorn, and just outright lack of common sense to ask that kind of thing in front of a bunch of people.

Sorry if this offends anyone or if I'm off base here. I'm just sensitive to this sort of thing.

[RogueLeader]

The one time I did ask, was in basic training as to how to deal with it. I remember that it was a Sunday when we were at the rifle range when I was looking down the sights at a target when I thought "Seng, what in the Hell do you think you are doing?" It hadn't come up before, and I was confused about how to deal with it.

There's more, but I'll keep that to myself for now.

[MercFE]

Never been in combat myself.  However, did serve in Iraq by flying overhead and providing communications support for troops on the ground.  Having been that close and hearing some of the calls for med evac or fire support...

We've also had personnel from my command go on IA assignments and not return.

There are much better questions to ask a vet about than their kill record.