A problem with a cadet

[Extremepredjudice]

Heh, smell that smell? That is the smell of a mind blowing a fuse.

Mind>=blown

[titanII]

Or, you could take the high road and just disregard anything I say!

Sounds easy enough! 

[Jerry Jacobs]

Or, you could take the high road and just disregard anything I say!

Major Lord

But what would we do without all of your valuable input?

[Abby.L]

*Back on topic*
I do concur with much of the above. Whatever this cadet's problem is obviously puts him out of line. While this isn't my mentality, what if he's just jealous of your new rank? Maybe, in his mind, you were his friend and you should have waited for him to catch up? So maybe the symptoms can be dealt with in CAP... But the cause may have to be fixed outside.

Just something to think about. If you're interested in fixing the problem, but remaining friends, talk to him.

[Dracosbane]

You've given the problem and it's been addressed quite well.  I have to agree with titanII and state that this issue is not just because you are a new NCO and a staff member with an unruly cadet.

You know this member outside of the organization and have a prior history.  They know you before the rules and regulations, before the customs and courtesies, before the leader-follower dynamic was introduced.  This is the detriment of leadership in this situation.  They are still trying to use that relationship to their advantage, and will cause problems if they do not get corrected now.

Politely, quietly and privately tell them that you are friends and you want to keep it that way.  However, those uniforms are a signal that your friendship takes a more serious turn and that leader-follower dynamic must be followed.  You can remain friends as leader-follower.  You can talk, laugh, and have fun together in the program, as it's designed to be.  But only at the appropriate time.

If he attempts to breed familiarity with you in front of the other cadets, undermining your (limited, of course) authority, it will begin to affect those around the both of you, and can begin to breed the same among the other cadets.  And when he becomes that leader (as we hope he eventually does) he will have the same issue, on a wider scale.  "Hey, Cadet Snuffy always acted like this towards Cadet Bagodonuts, we can act the same way towards Cadet Snuffy."  Now, he has to try harder to correct the problem and can feel some contempt for his unruly cadets (sound familiar?). 

Guide him towards where you're at from your experience towards where he wants to be.  Begin with friendship and understanding and reminders that there is a line that should not be crossed.  Make sure the message is received loud and clear that should it continue, the dynamic will change and it will become a stern warning and escalate from there.  Not because you don't want to be friends with him, but because you want him to be a better cadet and lead by example.

Good luck.

[Extremepredjudice]

I may have missed it, but where did he say he was friends with the cadet?

He said the cadet was saying bad things about a MSgt., too. Sounds like someone has a problem with authority, not just the OP.

[spacecommand]

I may have missed it, but where did he say he was friends with the cadet?

Page 1, reply # 10

""I think this might be part of the problem because before we went to CAP we were friends  and I introduced him to CAP.""

[Nearly Dark Side]

the homeschooling defense was mostly a  joking over reaction.  Really public school kids don't  have a problem if they come from good households.

[CivilAirPatrol123]

 :clap:

[bflynn]

although we teach Cadets to respect the Grade, ultimately, its your competence, confidence, and strength of personality that will determine whether your people will follow you, or just sneak up behind you and stab you in the back. Take a good hard look at your leadership style and see if you are the problem,

+∞

There are many dimensions to leadership and the position you hold in an organization is just one...and probably the least important.  This authority is false, the more you use it, the less you have.

Leadership from someone who is physically fit, morally sound, professionally competent and who achieves mission results will far outweight any influence from a title.

[jeders]

:clap:

Not that I want to derail this thread, but what is being applauded here?

[Extremepredjudice]

:clap:

Not that I want to derail this thread, but what is being applauded here?

She posted that in like 2 or 3 other threads.

[manfredvonrichthofen]

Whatever you do, don't let it get under your skin. I doubt that it is anything personal that they have against you, it's just something they have to get around.