Christmas Carol - Airborne Style

[Trung Si Ma]

T'was the jump before Christmas
And all through the plane,
The Jumpmaster's crazy
The Safety's insane.

The static lines were hung
On the cables with care,
In hopes that a green light
Soon would be there.


At the one minute warning,
Not a word would be said,
While malfunctions and entanglements Danced through their heads.

With the door bundles rigged,
I hooked up my pack,
Let's pull this jump off,
Without a racetrack!


When out on the wing,
There rose such a clatter,
I opened the door,
To see what was the matter,


And what to my night visioned eyes
Should appear,
But a towed parachutist
And eight reindeer.


I leaned out the door
And grabbed hold of his sleigh.
He gave a four thousand count
When I cut him away.


He fell through the night,
'Til I saw him no more,
Then came back inside
And yelled "Stand in the door."


Some jumpers are happy
And some full of fright,
But when the green light came on,
They all jumped that night.


On bundle, on jumpers,
The Jumpmaster exit the door,
One thousand, two thousand,
Tree thousand, four!


With my ass in the blast
And my knees in the breeze,
St. Michael protect me,
From all of these trees!


Dark skies full of chutes
And strong winds did blow,
Then heard a faint distant laughter,
From the DZSO.


One riser slip,
Hand over hand to my right,
But my hands were so cold,
I could not hold on tight.


Now lower your ruck
And slip hard as you can,
Put your feet and knees together
And get ready to land.


Ball of the feet, calf, thigh
And push-up muscle,
Roll up your chute
And move out with a hustle.


To the chute turn-in point,
The red light and a vest,
Be sure your name is scratched
From the jump manifest.


I saw the assembly point,
A stobe light so bright,
I knew even "cherries"
Would find it that night.


No matter where or when,
Be it Desert or Snow,
the Airborne Troopers
Are ready to go.


For it was that jolly towed parachutist
Holding that light,
Saying happy jumping to all,
And to all a good night.

[AC]

That was good! Merry Christmas to all,

"Airborne"!