Getting Back into Blues or Confessions of a Serial Overeater

Started by Майор Хаткевич, March 09, 2014, 06:51:41 AM

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Майор Хаткевич

I've struggled with my weight, since at least the age of eight. The last time anyone could call me "skinny" was around summer 1998, when I was still living in Europe and was living with my mom. That August she left to go to the US, for work and perhaps a better life, while I stayed in Europe with my grandparents. By December of that year I was chubby. I've been told many reasons for it, from medical (stemming from some childhood illness), to stress (based on not having my mother close), to overeating (implying my grandmother was stuffing me like a pig for a feast).

None of those reasons put the blame squarely where it sits: me.

When I moved to the US, I was chubby and almost 12 years old. I was the fattest kid in school in Latvia. When I came to the US, I was somewhere in the upper third, but nowhere near the biggest. Puberty started to hit, and I began to grow taller, and my weight wasn't keeping up. I didn't look skinny, but I wouldn't call myself at 13 chubby either. By Freshman year I was 180lbs. Still an ok weight, but certainly at about my maximum "ok" range (around 5' 9" height). Sophomore year I had hit 200. 212-220 by Junior year. At the middle point of summer that year, before a trip to Europe I was 237 - my heaviest at that point.

I came back from Europe down to 210lbs after 1 month. I won't mention what I did as a 17 year old in Eastern Europe to loose the weight, but needless to say there was ONE major difference - food intake.

Skip a year, and I'm 18, out of school, not in college, and working a dead end job as a server at a country club. I'm at 220, and start dieting. I got down to 212, before I quit on the diet. I started dating my (now) wife. We started to look for a place to move in together at the end of summer for college. By the time we did, I was at 225.


Here I'll skip the interim period of 2009-2013, but needless to say I've tried all sorts of diets, and even had some success, getting down from 240lbs to 215lbs in 2009. After that it was a loss of 8-12 lbs within a week, leading to the end of the diet, and the return to the same eating habits (and weight gain as well).

Since probably 2011 I've been a steady 250lbs +/- 3 lbs.

A few weeks ago I hit 260lbs. I made up excuses as to why my weight spiked, but I knew all too well. Over the course of the next few weeks, I was able to maintain that weight (something I've noticed is necessary for people like me, as once the gains start, they are hard to stop).

Last Sunday, my wife and I began to do a partial juicing diet. We've done this before, and it had great effect, but we quit within a week or so, after rushing into a nasty veggie mix that ruined the success we were having. Juicing along with the "caveman" diet was a great combo for us. Over the course of the past week, we would each have 20oz of Juice made from fruits/veggies and a light meal in the evening. I've lost 7lbs, but that is still above the 250lbs I've been at for years.

We once again re-watched the documentary "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead", because our new Juicer had a sticker for it. Turns out Netflix saved our spot...we only watched half of it back in 2010/2011. We started from the beginning. We finished, and we promised each other that we'll stick with a full 100% juice diet, at least as long as 60 days.

Starting tomorrow, we will be drinking only juiced veggies and fruits. This will continue for at least 60 days, and after that we will continue to juice, but slowly reintroduce solid veggies and fruits, maybe even some meat.

"Giving up" meat will probably be the hardest. After a week or two of fasting without it, I know that I begin to go a little stir crazy for a steak. My wife, while not as extreme, certainly enjoys the "finer" things as well. But I have my reasons, and so does she - we're having a marriage ceremony in June. She wants to look like she did in high school (and she's much closer than I am). I need to loose at least 70 lbs - for any and all of the reasons.

But why am I writing my life weight story on CAPTalk?

Because by putting it out here, it achieves two goals: I'm going on record, making it harder to simply "give up" as I had in the past. I would really love to get back into blues.

I know people on this forum. People on this forum know me. This isn't a shadow blog that won't get updated after its initial entry. This isn't a private excel log with weight charts (though those help too!). On here, it is as if I'm doing this in public, and in a way I am. The hardest part of this whole ordeal will be social interactions. So much of our culture is based around "breaking bread" with your fellow man, that "not eating" food is sure to get some strange looks. Heck, even writing about it, even after a week of success and general happiness about the juicing so far, the thought of "giving up food" scares me a bit. I've had some killer headaches. I've had an odd rash. All signs of a detox I'm told by (unverified) online accounts. But you know what? I feel fine. I actually feel great.

I went out to BWW for an encampment staff meeting, and I barely ate six wings. I stuffed eight into myself out of habit. Seven went back home as leftovers. In the past? Yea I'd knock those 15 out like they were pushups (and those are near impossible to do in my state currently). I also paid the price. The wings made me feel sick for most of the night after the meeting. I regretted eating them.

Today I was 253.6lbs in the morning. I'm not going to set a goal weight for the end of 60 days, but I will re-evaluate where I'm at with the juicing on May 8th.

Here starts my journey to a healthier (most important!) me, and hopefully a trimmer me that fits into some blues and BDUs (maybe even my cadet sets!).





Eclipse

I'm not a Dr., and rarely watch them on TV, but the only way to maintain a healthy weight is eating less then you burn.

Juicing, "detox'ing" (whatever that is), and other fads may help you in the short term achieve a number,
but it isn't sustainable in the long term.  If it took 5+ years to gain it, you can't take it off safely much quicker then that.

Portion control of "normal" foods and exercise (or other "real" activities), is the only thing anyone needs to do.

Good luck with your goals and good on 'ye for trying.


"That Others May Zoom"

Майор Хаткевич

Quote from: Eclipse on March 09, 2014, 06:59:13 AM
I'm not a Dr., and rarely watch them on TV, but the only way to maintain a healthy weight is eating less then you burn.

Juicing, "detox'ing" (whatever that is), and other fads may help you in the short term achieve a number,
but it isn't sustainable in the long term.  If it took 5+ years to gain it, you can't take it off safely much quicker then that.

Portion control of "normal" foods and exercise (or other "real" activities), is the only thing anyone needs to do.

Good luck with your goals and good on 'ye for trying.

I hear ya:
Quote from: usafaux2004 on March 09, 2014, 06:51:41 AM
Starting tomorrow, we will be drinking only juiced veggies and fruits. This will continue for at least 60 days, and after that we will continue to juice, but slowly reintroduce solid veggies and fruits, maybe even some meat.

This isn't a lifestyle, and it certainly isn't sustainable in the long term. Even Joe Cross recommends people do a 10-30 day juicing cycle once in a while, with a full 60 day being rare for most people. It's all about will power. Am I sick of being big more than I am of this juicing thing. Quite honestly? Nothing makes a better breakfast/lunch for someone who usually didn't eat either or stuffed himself for lunch/dinner.

My other hope is that, 60 days out, the idea of fast/fatty food will simply be so unpalatable to us, that we create a fundamental shift in how and what we consume in order to keep the weight we achieve, and prevent it from going back up again. It won't be easy, but juicing really isn't any mystery/voodoo/magic - it's taking the nutrients/liquids from a huge spacial volume of food, and turning it into a cup or two of liquid. Everything else is filler.



Spaceman3750

The guy in that documentary was getting weekly blood tests and was medically monitored by his dr. Not saying you shouldn't do it, but don't hurt yourself in the process. Good luck! If I could afford the $400+ a month in groceries plus doctor bills, if probably consider it myself.

Майор Хаткевич

Were an  upper middle class income earning couple out of college. They didn't teach us to cook, so takeout/restaurants/fast food was a big chunk of our diet...that stuff adds up. Fresh fruits and veggies? I spent $120 last weekend. We have a little left over before the next trip tomorrow.

Stonewall

I've posted many times before in other threads, even starting my own, about fitness and nutrition.  I always start off by saying I AM NOT AN EXPERT, NUTRITIONIST OR PERSONAL TRAINER, but I do have personal experience in this exact thing, weight loss and exercise.

As usual, I attached a guide of sorts that tells you how I did things, based on research from places like NIH, Johns Hopkins, and a personal friend who makes lots and lots of money in a field relevant to this stuff.  We've been friends since 1979 and he has never failed me when it comes to health and fitness.

BLUF:

I peeked somewhere around 235 lbs +/- and through an adjustment in diet and nutrition, lost more than 40 lbs and have kept it off for just over 4 years now. I started in January 2010 and it is now March 2014. It was not a fad, nor was it a name brand diet. No special equipment or need to follow some online/TV infomercial.

Name brand diets are fads...they are TEMPORARY, and most suck. You want to drink your meals? Screw that and I'll be the mean guy and say this, "YOU WILL FAIL!"

1. Cut carbs (Don't do the Atkins diet, I mean, simply cut your carbs. Americans devour far too many carbs and it shows).

2. Change out bad snacks for good snacks (Doritos for mixed nuts, apples for candy, oranges for chocolate)

3. Switch from regular to diet sodas. Aspartame causes cancer? Well, high fructose corn syrup causes obesity.

4. Move your ass! Average American takes fewer than 5,000 steps per day, roughly 3 miles. I set a goal for myself to take no less than 10,000 and often reach more than 20,000 steps per day. (I use the UP band by Jawbone).

5. Freakin' exercise! Trying to lose weight? Workout to burn calories (sweat), not to build muscle. Hop on the elliptical with an audiobook for 30, 45 or 60 minutes.

That is all. If your diet has a name, you will fail!
Serving since 1987.

UH60guy

As someone who lost 48 pounds in 2012, I figure I'd drop in to add to the cacophony. Two things, and only two things, worked for me: diet and exercise.

By diet, I mean the lowercase "d" of general eating habits, not the uppercase "D" of a specific diet. If I had to name mine anything, I'd call it the "quit eating so dang much diet." Portion control wins the day, not some fad only this or that, none of those diet. Depriving yourself of anything (all carbs, solid foods, ice cream etc) only leads to binge eating later on and doesn't make it a habit to eat well. I ate ice cream and cookies- just not that often, so when I did have them, they weren't some forbidden food to gorge myself upon. So, after I hit my weight loss goals, I didn't bounce back as I had established a healthy eating habit.

By exercise, I had to work my but off (literally in this case). I set a mark on the calendar six months away and registered for a half marathon, having never run more than four miles in my life. I put some actual money on the line in the form of registration fees. This could be accomplished with a significant bet to a friend who will hold you to it as well. That gave me a goal, and through the internet, I found a training plan- this week and this day I had to run for 30 minutes at any pace. Do something that works, and put it on the schedule. The best exercise program out there is the one you actually do!

your thoughts of putting it all out there are great too. There's no substitute for accountability from your friends!
Maj Ken Ward
VAWG Internal AEO

NIN

Stonewall speaks volumes of the truth above.

Couple things, however, prefaced by "I am not a doctor!"

Since my kids were born, I've fluctuated up and down in weight. From around 200 lbs to a max gross of 237 in November of 2011 (I'm just a shade under 6 feet tall)

Besides health and uniform wear, this has been absolute hell on my abilities as a skydiving instructor, where your ability to match fall rates with a student are key. From 2009 until 2012, I struggled mightily with this, and 90+% of the issues I had in freefall as an instructor can be directly attributed to fall rate control.  When I wind up with a light student (or, worse, a student who looks like they'll fall fast, but wind up floaty) I end up stretched out straight to "keep up" and consequently my ability to fly smoothly suffers.  I had a TON of problems with this, to the point where one of our instructor/examiners wanted me to take the instructor course over again.

Plus, I had tweaked my right knee around Christmas 2010 and really goofed myself up for exercising.  As Susie Powter, the crazy short-haired exercise lady used to say "People say to me all the time 'I can't exercise, I got this knee..' and I said "Of course you got this knee. You've got 300 POUNDS on that knee!'."  So I got a recumbent bike and started riding that as much as possible.

One thing that comes to mind: What works for me (and Stonewall, and others) may not precisely work for you due to your body type, chemistry, etc.  Plus, I hate exercising. Really. I do.   My theory is "I'm always going to have to eat. I'm not always going to be able to work out."

In the spring of 2012, my girlfriend went back to doing a low carb/high protein diet for a number of reasons (she had some medical issues that were actually improved by laying off the carbs), and while I didn't go hardcore Atkins with her, I followed a number of the same concepts so that I could keep carbs out of the house for her.

So, initially, I shifted my carb/protein balance from "Carb Heavy" to "Protein heavy" (ie. instead of getting two hamburgers, I'd have a double.  2 patties on one bun.  Thats a weird example, but its an example of making a "better carb choice.")  and the weight came off. After 2 or 3 months, in July 2012 I was down to about 220, and when I went to Annual Training, I was 212.

Enroute to USAC annual training in July 2012, I drank my last soda.  I gave it up. Cold turkey.  Thats it. Not regular, not diet.  None. Zero.  I was drinking 4-5 20oz Coke Zeros a day. 

I brought my water bottles and my camelbak to AT. And drank water constantly.  I was moving, I was eating, etc.  At the end of AT I was still 212 lbs, but my ACUs were fitting me like a tent.  I was losing weight in all the right places and adding some muscle here and there. My body was definitely reshaping itself.

I came home from AT, and immediately lost 200 lbs of useless fat when my girlfriend dumped me. Yay, thats weightloss plan I can get behind. :)  Oh, wait a minute.

I lost another 25 lbs in 60 days, and finally hit a stasis around January of 2013 at 185-ish lbs.   Since then, I've slimmed down a little bit more to 180lbs and I'm holding there fairly consistently, varying between 180 and 185, but holding more around 180.

How did I do it besides soda and with no exercise?

Some rules:

1) No soda. I just had a Diet Pepsi with lunch yesterday.  It was like syrup.  Yikes.  Not doing that again.   But seriously: no soda. Even diet.  I drink some of that sugar-free flavored carbonated water occasionally when I get a taste for carbonation.

2) More water. Lots more water. Get a Camelbak bottle and carry that thing around like a talisman.  I have two of them. I also got a Brita pitcher and put it in the fridge for nice cold filtered water.   If you think you're drinking enough, drink more.  You should drink enough until you're like "Crikey, I'm peeing 3 times an hour.." Back off a little from that. :)

3) STOP EATING OUT. My ex-girlfriend and I ate out probably 4 nights a week.   Not only was that a budget buster, but it was horrible for my waistline. US food portions at restaurants are probably 50% bigger than they need to be. If you do eat out, take at least half of it home for another day.  But seriously: Stop eating out.  Restaurant food, especially the chains like Applebees and such, is not really good for you.  The proportions are wrong, the portions are too big, there is a tendency to overeat.

4) More protein, less carbs.  No need to go all crazy Atkins diet, but lay off the bread, etc.  Add some cheeses and other proteins.

5) Sugar. Cut it out. I drink coffee like a fiend. I drink it with cream only, no sugar.  I avoid adding sugar to things. Natural sugars, OK, but watch the high fructose corn syrup (that is in EVERYTHING you buy... just look. Its in @#$% bread!). Read labels more.  Knock off the sugar.

6) Lay off the snacks (pretzels, I love 'em. Leave 'em) as much, or substitute fruit/veggie snacks. Instead of  pretzels, try carrots.  How about some edamame instead of french fries?  I'll do some pita chips and hummus before I'll do chips now.

7) Get out and move.  You don't need to run, but go for a walk. Maybe its a half mile right now. But it will be 3/4 of a mile later. Hike in the woods.  (you're in Chicagoland area, no mountains for you like I have here..) do something like skating or cross country skiing in the winter if you can.  Snowshoe instead of watching the boob tube.  Do something. Your body may rebel initially, but it will thank you.

I've said this to Ned (who is quite the runner): "I'm inherently lazy. If you go out and run for an hour and burn 600 calories, how about if I just don't eat that 600 calorie Big Mac and save myself an hour of sweating and pounding my knees?"  (there is a certain amount of logic here, however, its still important to move your body)

If you think you're going to lose 70 lbs between now and June, you're sadly mistaken and someone has sold you a bill of goods. You will not do it in a healthy way, and will simply rebound.

Good friend of mine, former cadet buddy, is a letter carrier for the USPS. He's a big old ski-jump nose Polack with really horrible genetic predispositions toward heart disease and being "big boned." (aka "a little fat")  15-16 years ago he did a medically supervised diet that turned him into Skeletor. He's about my height and he looked like he'd just been liberated from Dachau. He was somewhere down around 150-160lbs. Holy smokes. It scared me. What doctor supervises that?   In the interim, he's gained all that weight back and then some. Him and his wife just posted a pic on FB from two days ago and he looks like his dad (remember, genetics?) and he's pushing 300lbs.   

You cannot lose that much weight that quickly without deleterious side effects.  Ain't happening. It took me over 2 years to drop 60lbs off, but it 60 lbs that  is gone and staying gone because I didn't "do a diet," I changed my habits and ingrained them.

YMMV, but if you want to really not die from heart disease or diabetes before you're 50, you'll get on the ball now. Trust me.
Darin Ninness, Col, CAP
I have no responsibilities whatsoever
I like to have Difficult Adult Conversations™
The contents of this post are Copyright © 2007-2024 by NIN. All rights are reserved. Specific permission is given to quote this post here on CAP-Talk only.

Stonewall

Serving since 1987.

Майор Хаткевич

#10
I'm certainly in agreement on loosing all that weight in a 60 day period (Though that's exactly what happened to Joe Cross during his documentary). Having done this for a short time, and a in conjunction with a bit longer period of "caveman", I know it works, at least for me. I love bread, but I've gone months without in college, because it simply wasn't a priority. I love butter, but without bread I have no use for it. Nuts? Love 'em, don't get enough of 'em. Veggies? Never was a picky eater, but we could all eat more. Fruits? Probably need to eat less than I used to...they do contain sugar.

I'm going to do this 60 day thing, and slowly phase in solid fruits and veggies. Once in a while (ok, realistically a few times a week) we'll have meat. The ultimate goal is to make sushi, mid.eastern, burgers, etc a rare treat as opposed to "we did sushi two days ago, so that's out, what else is on the list".

I've been reading Stonewall's progress for years now (both here and CS). Is this a fad diet? Perhaps. A lot of people certainly treat it that way. But a week out, and I'm 8lbs lighter, I'm not craving food, and I feel better if not great. A lot of big people claim not to feel when they gain a few pounds. For me? I didn't need a scale to tell me something shifted when I went from 250 to 260.  The first few pounds I felt. I certainly felt the 10. I guess I have a family disposition to be overweight. But I don't have to live with it.

I'll do this for 60 days. Even if I loose 20 lbs, it will be my lowest weight in years, and I'm sure I'll feel better than I have in years. Eventually I'd like to get down to 180, and reevaluate from there, but one step at a time.


P.S. On a more CAP related note, I'm very confident that I could have been at least an Eaker cadet, or had a decent shot at Spaatz if it wasn't for my struggles with weight. By the time I hit 17, and shifted into Phase IV, I was done. No way could I do the mile, and the shuttle was out of reach. It sucked. Probably will be one of my biggest regrets in life, for at least a long while, knowing that I had the willingness and understanding of the academics, but not of the physical fitness aspect of it.

Майор Хаткевич

Another thing on the Jawbone Up. Until mine disintegrated (work hazard), I was easily doing 9-10k steps per day, but closer to 13-15k. At work, I find myself often moving relatively heavy inventory, and at times, especially when new stuff comes in, I've come close to muscle failure due to exertion (some of these milk crates have close to 200lbs of steel parts.) Basically, a lot of times my work provides a workout straight out of the weight room. But I'm convinced weight loss is mostly diet and excersize is "nice to have".

Walkman

Lots of really good advice given here so far, so I don't need to add anything.

It's a rough journey getting back to a healthy weight. All my best to you!

RiverAux

At one point I lost 50 pounds using the Atkins diet and 5x a week exercising for 30 minutes.  Because I was doing both at the same time I can't really say which made the biggest contribution.  However, at one point I slacked off on the exercise (and the diet) and eventually gained back about 20 pounds and have stayed around that final weight for about 4 years on a mostly "normal" diet and irregular exercise. 

Realistically, I think it made more difference that I cut out eating all the candy, pizza, and other junk food while on the diet than it did that I was on an extreme low carb diet.  I suspect that I would have done just as well by cutting out the junk and exercising.

So, thats actually what I started doing three weeks ago.  I am using myfitnesspal.com to keep track of calories and exercise and am basically eating around 2100 calories a day hoping to lose about a pound a week.  I like the program as it has plenty of charts and makes counting the calories really easy as they have a database of all sorts of foods that you just need to select from. So, I don't need to manually keep track of the calories of each food and input it -- Just have to remember what it was and select it from the list and it populates my records with what it has.  It also tracks a bunch of other nutrition goals that you can use (carbs, sodium, etc.).  I have ramped back up the exercise as well.

The links above about calories counting are interesting and I am sure that these are only rough approximations of reality, but thats probably good enough for this sort of purpose. 

I have a relative who lost 50+ on a juice diet and while it may work there is no way in the world that it could be healthy for you even over the relative short term. 

HGjunkie

On a side note, I don't know if anyone's been keeping up with this new thing called Soylent (basically a purely liquid diet), but it would be interesting to see how it would work to manage weight loss/gain and keep people at healthy weight and nutrition levels.
••• retired
2d Lt USAF

Mitchell 1969

#15
I'll add a bit.

I consulted a bariatrician, who did blood, hormone and metabolic testing. Rather than using standard charts, he actually discovered MY metabolic rate. And it was far less than the standard charts, which are averaged.

I am not "on a diet," in the sense of Atkins or juicing. I can eat anything. But I can't exceed the daily allowance of total calories. Also, I had to increase my protein intake - I wasn't taking in enough. I weigh, measure or count everything (it's actually easy after about two weeks). Everything gets logged (I use "My Fitness Pal"). I have to do at least 30 minutes exercise daily. But it all counts. Five minutes times six times is ok.

I've lost 40 pounds so far.

In summary: See a doctor who knows what s/he is doing.  Get your ACTUAL metabolic rate, as opposed to AVERAGED metabolic rate. Stay under your actual weight loss intake. Log everything. Move more. Eliminate fast food. Do not do anything faddish - if it isn't what you would be able to do forever, don't try to do it temporarily.
_________________
Bernard J. Wilson, Major, CAP

Mitchell 1969; Earhart 1971; Eaker 1973. Cadet Flying Encampment, License, 1970. IACE New Zealand 1971; IACE Korea 1973.

CAP has been bery, bery good to me.

Devil Doc

"My Fitness Pal" Works wonders man, I lost 30 PLus pounds with that app. I also use "Sports Tracker" it tells you how many calories you burned for an Certain Activity. Its Fricken Awesome
Captain Brandon P. Smith CAP
Former HM3, U.S NAVY
Too many Awards, Achievments and Qualifications to list.


Private Investigator

We are all Supermen, but you have to know what your kryptonite is. I avoid all soda, chips and french fries and I get into shape. 30 minutes of walking is great.

Progress not perfection   8)

Papabird

Quote from: Devil Doc on March 10, 2014, 01:24:13 PM
"My Fitness Pal" Works wonders man, I lost 30 PLus pounds with that app. I also use "Sports Tracker" it tells you how many calories you burned for an Certain Activity. Its Fricken Awesome

I have used MFP for over a year (January 2013, I changed my food lifestyle, not "went on a diet").  I started walking every night with the wife and then started just going on a bike ride every morning.  I took my food down to about 1760 cal per day, in November I upped that to 2080.

January 2013 I weighed 289 lbs.
This morning I weighed 207 lbs.

Went from looking bad in Greys to wearing my AF blues again.  I even felt good enough to buy a Mess Dress set and wear it for a CAP Dining Out where I was the Keynote Speaker.

It can be done, and your mileage may vary.  Just stick with it.
Michael Willis, Lt. Col CAP
Georgia Wing

Storm Chaser

#19
Aside from any medical condition, the equation is very simple. If your calorie intake if higher than your burning output, then you will gain weight. If you're burning more calories than your intake, then you'll lose weight.

The best way to lose weight and keep the weight off is to eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly. But that's easier said than done. The reason for this is that this is not just about changing what and how much you eat or what and how much exercise you do. It's about changing your lifestyle.

Changing your lifestyle overnight will most likely result in failure. It's easier to change your lifestyle if you do it gradually. That includes diet and exercise. If you try a fast and drastic diet, it will be harder to sustain. Also, the faster you lose weight, the faster you gain it back. The same goes for exercise. You try to do too much too quickly and you'll end up giving up.

So what to do? First, make the decision to change and start by making small changes. Don't starve yourself, but eliminate empty calories and try to eat healthier. Try to reduce your portions, but do it gradually. Drink plenty of water and eat fruit when you need to snack. Snack frequently, but don't eat junk food. Again, if you're hungry all the time, that will increase the chances of giving up on your diet.

Start exercising frequently, but start easy and do activities that you enjoy. It's best if you can enjoy this with someone else, in order to keep you motivated. Also, get plenty of rest. And finally, come up with a plan and stick to it.

Losing weight is tough. Keeping it off is even harder. You know this already. But if you gradually change your lifestyle to a healthier one, you will eventually notice the difference and feel better. Don't rush it. It's better to do it at your own pace. It may take time, but the change is more likely to be permanent. Good luck!