Airport Security

[Flying Pig]

So......

I come in last night for a landing, at a "secure" airport.  0100hrs, so its dark!!   I land on the pad, do my 3 minute engine cool down (MD500E Helicopter)   As Im spooling down, my partner is walking over to our fuel truck and getting it started.  We dont waste any time on fueling.  As soon as the blades stop, the nozzle is in the spout!

As he is getting the truck ready, I am climbing out and walking to the hangar.  I still have my helmet on and my CEP ear plugs in, so I cant hear anything.  The helicopter is now behind me.  I unlock the door and walk in to the office.....  I hadda peeeeee!

I am in the bathroom and I hear a woman screaming and crying in the office   I walk out and my partner is calming a woman in our office who is crying shaking and bloody, hands and wrists cut up.   Needless to say, I was a little surprised.    My partner tells me, as soon as you climbed out of the helicopter, I see this figure in black running across the runway.  You were walking away from the helicopter and she was at the co pilot door screaming and banging on the doors.  My partner jumped out of the fuel truck and was running to the helicopter.  She then ran around to the pilot side and started trying to open the pilot side door.   During this time, I am unlocking the door and going in to the office as he is dealing with the bloody chick about 25yards behind me.

He finally gets her away from the helicopter because she was pounding on the sides of it with her fists.  He gets her calmed down and in to the office which is when I walk in.  Paranoid Schizophrenic, didnt know where she was at. Her bloody hands were clearly from her climbing the barbed wire fence.  She showed us where she climbed over.  To get to where we are, she crossed two major active runways..... airline size runways!!!  She had a history of doing this at other airports 4 times prior.   

So needless to say.........  You never know when the boogy woman may show up!  CHP had an incident a couple of years ago in So Cal where the pilot was spooling down, engine still running.  The observer got out and was getting his gear together, looks up and sees the pilot still strapped in to the seat, in fist fight with a guy punching him.  A guy ran up to the helicopter, at the airport, opens the door and attacks the pilot while hes still sitting in the helicopter.

So anyway......   take from it what you will. 

[cantthinkof1]

That's one crazy story.

[wuzafuzz]

Airports are like magnets for weirdo's, at least in my experience.

That reminds me of a few "highlights" my airport ops/security days:

• Naked woman doing somersaults on the x-ray machine belt, while wearing a used diaper.
• The UFO hunter staked out at the ultralight airpark at 0100 hrs.  I explained the UFO's were kept on the east side of the airport and the best viewing point was on the other side of the highway from the airport.     He camped there for a week.
• Woman complaining that Conway Twitty had been chasing her in his spotlight equipped airplane.  Apparently he wanted her turquoise jewelry.
• The guy who was convinced glider trailers were actually covert ICBM transports.
• I was also informed my airport was an alien invader base used to implant tracking devices in our foreheads.

Fun times.

[Al Sayre]

Airports have nothing on Greyhound.  Want to see some weird folks, spend some time parked at the bus station.  I used to drive a cab at night, and the bus station beats tv for entertainment hands down.

[bosshawk]

Reminds me of "we don't need all kinds, we just have them".  And they reproduce and vote!!!!!