Please Help? I don't know what to do about this cadet issue.

maurer172 · February 12, 2011, 02:27:50 AM

In June or July, an 8Th grader at the time, also a Civil Air Patrol cadet, (I was in 6Th grade at the time and also a Civil Air Patrol cadet [which I still am]) text me using my friends phone and pretending to be my friend and cussed me out, put me down, and so much more. I was and I believe still am a higher rank.She didn't text me that until I moved to TX, well I moved back 5 months ago. I recently found out she broke 3 regulations, just on the first page. What is your feedback? What should I do?

davidsinn · February 12, 2011, 02:40:29 AM

Quote from: maurer172 on February 12, 2011, 02:27:50 AM
In June or July, an 8Th grader at the time, also a Civil Air Patrol cadet, (I was in 6Th grade at the time and also a Civil Air Patrol cadet [which I still am]) text me using my friends phone and pretending to be my friend and cussed me out, put me down, and so much more. I was and I believe still am a higher rank.She didn't text me that until I moved to TX, well I moved back 5 months ago. I recently found out she broke 3 regulations, just on the first page. What is your feedback? What should I do?

Talk to your chain of command.

maurer172 · February 12, 2011, 03:08:54 AM

My only problem with that is, I'm afraid she might start a fight if I do. How can I go through my chain of command without getting her to start a fight.

Pylon · February 12, 2011, 03:14:58 AM

That's what your chain of command is there to prevent. They can help you. Your flight commander, cadet commander, and most importantly the senior members will always do what they can to help.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to them and if your squadron has a chaplain, you can always request to speak to the chaplain confidentially.

coudano · February 12, 2011, 03:16:50 AM

first of all, this is not a rank issue
nor is it a regulations issue

this is an interpersonal issue.
she did a jerk move, on you.
that's all there REALLY is to it. Respond to the situation on those terms and those terms alone.

The CyBorg is destroyed · February 12, 2011, 10:05:33 AM

This is one thing the chain of command is there for.

I'm going to echo what the others have said on that.

She was way out of line, regardless of rank.

If you have access to a CAP Chaplain - if your unit doesn't have one your wing probably will - they can intervene. A Character Development Instructor can help too but I would still recommend a Chaplain.

As for "starting a fight"...CAP is supposed to be a SAFE PLACE. Anyone who wants to "start a fight" has no business in that SAFE PLACE.

When I first joined CAP back in '93 I attended a Wing Communications Course and there was one (older) cadet about ready to leave for the Marines in the class. There was also a younger cadet who stuttered. The older cadet openly made fun of the younger one and the more I heard it the angrier I got.

I went to the officer in charge of the course and told her.

Within the hour I saw the cadet commander disciplining the bad actor...and the officer in charge directed said bad actor to sit with me for the remainder of the class!

Bullying is too prevalent in society as it is. It has no place in CAP.

IceNine · February 12, 2011, 11:02:17 AM

Your chain of command will be able to evaluate the situation, but you will need to tell them the WHOLE story and determine the best course of action.

Capination · March 14, 2011, 03:25:08 AM

Do you have evidence that she did it? At the end, it will come down to a hearsay thing. I'll advise you to learn from this experience: did this situation affect your performance as a Cadet? don't think so. Move on and continue your advancement, continue your development and use this exprerience as a character development exercise. The best way to tell her that she was wrong is to get your Spaatz Award...yeap, that award that she would most probably never see on her uniform. Character involves focusing on the mission....thus, focus on your mission. Your mission is to continue your development and making no unnecessary stops to handle minor incidents like this one. With regards to getting this to the Chain of Command, if you've been harassed again by the same individual or you believe that the same individual can get violent...your safety is first....take it then to the Chain of Command and the Chaplain for immediate attention.

Patterson · March 14, 2011, 01:32:33 PM

Seriously............

Stop txtN. muv on w yor Lyf alredi.

SII-117 · March 29, 2011, 09:12:56 PM

Quote from: Patterson on March 14, 2011, 01:32:33 PM
Seriously............

Stop txtN. muv on w yor Lyf alredi.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
It was a one time deal. Seriously.
For all you know, he/she, was having a really bad day, and you were open to attack.
Or this particular cadet was ticked off by something you did, and overreacted.
ITS NOT BULLYING UNLESS YOU ARE BEING BULLIED!!!

Eclipse · March 30, 2011, 01:09:06 AM

Quote from: SII-117 on March 29, 2011, 09:12:56 PM
ITS NOT BULLYING UNLESS YOU ARE BEING BULLIED!!!

Perhaps you should use that sentence above as the basis of a CDI discussion at your next unit meeting.

I would also suggest you review CAP's Cadet Protection training, and perhaps spend a little time with the first part of the
curriculum from Encampment RST.

The CyBorg is destroyed · March 31, 2011, 07:23:01 PM

^^^What Eclipse said.

Those who try to minimise the impact of bullying do so at their own peril.

I was one of those who was bullied as a child...and the Official Response Handed Down From Heaven Above By The Ever-Wise School Administration Was: just ignore it and it will stop. It did not, and at 45 years old I still feel the effects of it.

It's multiplied now by the cyber-bullying aspect.

One of my "crusades," for want of a better term, is to, as much as I can, minimise the effects of bullying on kids today. That's a big reason why I do what I do in CAP...because there are so precious few "safe places" for kids nowadays, I want CAP to be one of those.

That means zero tolerance for bullying. If I witness it, I turn the issue and perpetrator over to the Sqn CC, with recommendations:

First offence: Verbal reprimand/talk to parents
Second offence: Written reprimand in file/talk to parents again
Third offence: Take a stripe and suspend from CAP activities for 60 days
Fourth offence: 2B

Thankfully, I haven't had to do so yet. I hope I don't.

davidsinn · March 31, 2011, 08:18:13 PM

Quote from: CyBorg on March 31, 2011, 07:23:01 PM
I was one of those who was bullied as a child...and the Official Response Handed Down From Heaven Above By The Ever-Wise School Administration Was: just ignore it and it will stop. It did not, and at 45 years old I still feel the effects of it.

Got one better for you. My mother was told: "I'm not going to do anything about it because he's leaving the other kids alone when he bullies your son."

Eclipse · March 31, 2011, 08:37:09 PM

From personal experience I can tell you that the only thing more dangerous than a bully is the kid who decides
he's had enough. Which I literally did one day early in high school after having a fairly rough time in grammar school.
I was usually the biggest kid in my class but I just couldn't be bothered to push back.

Until one day when a young man found my last nerve, and was shocked to be thrown down a flight of stairs with me on
his back.

Luckily no one was hurt, we could have literally both been killed or disabled.

The result was just a fair amount of detention, and the typical becoming if not "friends", at least respectful acquaintances.

This was before all the "zero tolerance" nonsense, and when there was still an expectation people would fight relatively fair,
especially at a catholic boys high school. Today those frazzled kids either hurt themselves or come to school with guns.

SARDOC · March 31, 2011, 08:51:30 PM

I was getting harassed in junior high for a couple of weeks...until I broke his nose. He wasn't expecting it...the harassment stopped.

HGjunkie · March 31, 2011, 08:57:14 PM

I was bullied in middle school... I found out that if you fight back here in Florida, it's "Mutual Combat." Either way, I don't have that problem anymore after getting into High School.... after I had to threaten a kid to get him to back down. No problems with anyone since.

Woodsy · March 31, 2011, 10:35:27 PM

I had this one kid bully me all through middle and high school. I was a big guy (think defensive lineman) and he was about 5'2 100lbs soaking wet. It really didn't bother me too much, I just laughed it off and thought he was an idiot. One day my junior year, he took it a little too far on a particularly sensitive subject (I had just recovered from some pretty serious medical issues) and was giving me hell in the hallway. Well I dropped my bookbag, towered over him and told him to bring it. He was shocked to say the least and ran away with his tail between his legs like the coward he was. In a mater of a few weeks, he had gone from mr. popular to the sissy loser, his girlfriend (hottest girl in school, cheerleader captain, prom queen, etc...) dumped him for me, and pretty much had a very different life. He got what he deserved if you ask me, and no one got hurt.

peter rabbit · April 01, 2011, 04:57:32 PM

QuoteThat means zero tolerance for bullying. If I witness it, I turn the issue and perpetrator over to the Sqn CC, with recommendations:
First offence: Verbal reprimand/talk to parents
Second offence: Written reprimand in file/talk to parents again
Third offence: Take a stripe and suspend from CAP activities for 60 days
Fourth offence: 2B

from CAPR 52-10 para 1: Hazing. Hazing is defined as any conduct whereby someone causes another to suffer or to be exposed to any activity that is cruel, abusive, humiliating, oppressive, demeaning, or harmful. Actual or implied consent to acts of hazing does not eliminate the culpability of the perpetrator.

1. Reporting Requirements. Senior members, cadets, and parents/guardians should immediately report incidents of observed or suspected abuse to the unit commander or commander at the next higher level of command. Whenever a commander has received a report of abuse, suspects that abuse has occurred or may occur, or believes there is an appearance of impropriety in the nature of cadet abuse by a member of CAP, the commander will immediately suspend the member from CAP and will report the abuse ...........

AngelWings · April 01, 2011, 06:40:30 PM

Has others have said, report the person, and has I say, if you feel the need. Ignore it until it becomes something serious enough where it happens everyday/often.
And to contribute to the stories of self defense. This one kid irrated me so much. He called me "gay","fat", and "dumb". He got me so mad that I snapped and kneed him in the face. Was suspended for 3 days, and went to a WWE event. Best time of my life.

peter rabbit · April 01, 2011, 09:27:18 PM

QuoteHas others have said, report the person, and has I say, if you feel the need. Ignore it until it becomes something serious enough where it happens everyday/often.

This is part of the problem - it is ignored until it becomes something serious. Why not "nip it in the bud", immediately let the person know that type of conduct will not be permitted in CAP?