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"Tid bits "O" Humor"

Started by Rob Sherlin, November 22, 2008, 10:42:32 AM

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Luis R. Ramos

#40
The new CAP song (use the tune We Got Donuts posted by Johnny)

We got missions! We got missions, got missions!! GOT MISSIONS!!!
  For the city the state and THE NATION!!

We got planes. We got planes got planes GOT PLANES!
  To take cadets help the nation fo'ever FO'EVER!

We got cadets. We got cadets got cadets GOT CADETS!
  To learn to serve to help TO HELP!

If you like it, give me credit. If ya don't, well, blame it on a rainy day in Brooklyn, NY...

Flyer
Squadron Safety Officer
Squadron Communication Officer
Squadron Emergency Services Officer

Black Knight

Heres one I read about a guy in the Air Force:
"One day, there were animals. on the end of the runway. My 1st Sergeant came over and told me to fix the problem. So I ran out to the runway. The animals wouldn't go away, so I started to flap my arms. Next thing I know a voice comes over the loudspeaker: 'Attention to  the airman at the end of the runway, you are cleared for take off' "
C/CMSgt Millson
First Sergeant
Rome City School District Cadet Squadron
NER-NY-801

Garibaldi

Quote from: Black Knight on April 12, 2013, 03:50:57 PM
Heres one I read about a guy in the Air Force:
"One day, there were animals. on the end of the runway. My 1st Sergeant came over and told me to fix the problem. So I ran out to the runway. The animals wouldn't go away, so I started to flap my arms. Next thing I know a voice comes over the loudspeaker: 'Attention to  the airman at the end of the runway, you are cleared for take off' "

Saw that in Reader's Digest...still funny.
Still a major after all these years.
ES dude, leadership ossifer, publik affaires
Opinionated and wrong 99% of the time about all things

Black Knight

Quote from: Garibaldi on April 12, 2013, 10:03:28 PM
Quote from: Black Knight on April 12, 2013, 03:50:57 PM
Heres one I read about a guy in the Air Force:
"One day, there were animals. on the end of the runway. My 1st Sergeant came over and told me to fix the problem. So I ran out to the runway. The animals wouldn't go away, so I started to flap my arms. Next thing I know a voice comes over the loudspeaker: 'Attention to  the airman at the end of the runway, you are cleared for take off' "

Saw that in Reader's Digest...still funny.
Oh thats where I found it. I couldn't remember earlier...
C/CMSgt Millson
First Sergeant
Rome City School District Cadet Squadron
NER-NY-801

a2capt

I can so see this happening ...

Webster

It was graduation day of my basic Encampment and it was very cold (in my opinion). We had just gotten done with pass and review when we headed back to get ready for graduation. Well, being as cold as I was, I chose to add an additional layer of warmth by putting on another pair long underwear. Twas a clever idea, but in the process of adding the additional layer I had to remove my dress blues pants. Naturally, I didn't want my pants to be filthy so I place them neatly on the nearby HVAC unit (Heating, Ventilation, Air-Conditioning). To my dismay, that evil monster sucked my pants out of sight, and towards rapidly turning blades. 10 minutes till graduation. So I took advantage of my opportunity to run around outside without pants and went and fetched an active duty civil-engineer who, in the most awkward circumstance, stopped the hungry blades from devouring my pants. I was then instructed to poke my head into to the dark, dusty, home of spiders to retrieve my pants, and I did. No surprise, they were coated in grime just as I. At this point graduation is 5 minutes away. And my wingman had left and gone to the auditorium. Never run in blues they say. Well I did and it felt good.

HGjunkie

Wait, were you in Golf flight or are you the other brother?
••• retired
2d Lt USAF

Webster

#47
GFLT! Haha Yep! That was me!

Webster


HGjunkie

 >:D Hey Webster, I remember this incident a lot better now. Haha, live and learn. That was quite the story afterwards...
••• retired
2d Lt USAF

Webster

Haha at the time i was scared to death!

AlphaSigOU

Quote from: johnnyb47 on February 27, 2013, 05:36:35 PM
Theme song candidate?
The Donut Song
>:D

Kill me now... but bury me with a couple of dozen Krispy Kremes! :D
Lt Col Charles E. (Chuck) Corway, CAP
Gill Robb Wilson Award (#2901 - 2011)
Amelia Earhart Award (#1257 - 1982) - C/Major (retired)
Billy Mitchell Award (#2375 - 1981)
Administrative/Personnel/Professional Development Officer
Nellis Composite Squadron (PCR-NV-069)
KJ6GHO - NAR 45040

Merkava

#52
Lol, here's something funny that happened to me this past Sunday.
There was a baseball game at the Tropicana Field in Tampa, FL. The Tampa Bay Rays were playing against the Baltimore Orioles, the latter won btw with 7 - 6 on the scoreboard. It was a sad game.[/size][/font][/color]

Anyway, the Ray's mascot comes out onto the field during a switch out and saunters over to one of the security guards standing there with his back facing the mascot. After a couple wiggles and awkward moves, the "animal like" mascot walks right up to the guard and flashes his shirt to show his big round belly. Then he saunters back to the benches. Everyone next to me were choking in laughter, and I noticed that one guard had his head in his hands, shaking it.

Not 15 min later, the "animal" walks into the special ticket row that had a buffet to go with the deal. He stared at the table, looking from end to end. Then out of the blue, he walks up to a grill with hot dogs, picks one up and aims at the crowd, scanning it with his free furry finger. Before either of my friends or I realized, that thing was flying toward us like a dog out of the furnace. It smacked into the cadet right next to me, bounced off, hit me, bounced off again, hit the guy next to me, bounced off and hit our Squadron's Cadet Commander square on the left cheek. Of course he reacted by smacking it off and initiating the "hot potato" game. It eventually landed in the aisle in front of us. That was the most craziest thing I had ever seen, and we just couldn't stop laughing.

Of course someone had to make a joke about the fact that I was there: "He threw that pork sausage at us because he knew you were Jewish." Of course I found that hilarious.
But that wasn't the end of it. 20 min later, he picked up a brick like package of 10 hot dogs and aimed at the crowd again. If a lady hadn't showed up and halted the scene, we would have a had an army of hot dogs flying toward us lol!

I have never, in my life, experienced something like this at a baseball game!  ;D :o
C/CMSgt. Joshua M.A. Buck
Squadron First Sergeant
Color Guard: State Flag + Backup Commander

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."  - Albert Einstein

Merkava

#53
Oh, btw. Does anyone know exactly what the Ray's mascot is? Here is an excerpt from their website on this bizarre "animal":

In early 1998, Rays scouts on a fishing trip in the Gulf of Mexico spotted a strange looking animal. The creature, apparently drawn to the boat by the smell of hot dogs on the hibachi, climbed aboard and soon won the scouts over with his silly antics. During the excitement, a scout had a brilliant idea: make this fun loving fuzz ball the mascot for the new baseball team. "Raymond" as the scouts dubbed him, immediately accepted their contract offer of all the hot dogs he could eat, all the high fives he could handle, and the ability to shake his groove thing to countless Tampa Bay fans.
Raymond's animal-like appearance causes confusion among fans of all ages. His fuzzy face is similar to a walrus and his bulbous blue belly likens him to a mutant manatee. So what exactly is he?
In 2005 marine biologists and zoologists made a startling discovery; Raymond is actually a previously undiscovered species of dog known as "Canus Manta Whatthefluffalus" or in layman's terms, a Seadog. Seadogs have all the traits of normal dogs. They enjoy going for walks, playing with kids, and fetching. Unlike other dogs they are five to six feet tall, walk upright, are blue in color, and chase catfish. While other dogs live on land, Seadogs usually live in or around the water. Seadogs are well known for their fun-loving nature, passion for baseball, and general good looks.
C/CMSgt. Joshua M.A. Buck
Squadron First Sergeant
Color Guard: State Flag + Backup Commander

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."  - Albert Einstein

Simplex

Great stuff....always good for a laugh! Thanks.

Merkava

Yeah. I just thought I would enter that as a beginner since I'm relatively new to this community thing for CAP. Never new it existed in all my time spent in CAP. But hey, I may have more to tell if I can rack my brain and remember.
C/CMSgt. Joshua M.A. Buck
Squadron First Sergeant
Color Guard: State Flag + Backup Commander

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."  - Albert Einstein

AirmanAwesome

Me and a  female Basic talking about japanese food at Olympic Airshow.

C/AB: I've never eaten tentacles before.
Me: Really?
C/Msgt: Thought you said something else..
Me: What could you mistake "tentacles" for?
C/Msgt: I thought she said she had never eaten testicles before..
Me: *quietly* oooohhhhh
C/AB: Oh my god..

:clap:  8)  gg C/Msgt!!
C/Amn, Civil Air Patrol
SSCS
8)

Airplane girl

That reminds me of something that happened at my school in 4th grade...

One day in gym, the teacher was explaining a game we were about to play. Since it was gym, it involved balls. A couple of boys for some reason thought the word balls was hilarious. So they started giggling. They got in big trouble with the teacher and had to go to the lower school office. When they came back, my gym teacher (who has a Scottish accent, by the way) asked one of the boys to explain what balls were to the class. So he got up in front of everyone. He looked at us. We looked at him. And then in a very serious voice, he declared TENTACLES!

I go to a K-12 school, and 4 years later we still all remember this. And yes, we were in 4th grade.

C/Cool

This thread is starting to get a little bit inappropriate...   :)
I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Garibaldi

Just as I thought...cadets CAN police themselves...  :o
Still a major after all these years.
ES dude, leadership ossifer, publik affaires
Opinionated and wrong 99% of the time about all things