Belittling the USAF

[SamFranklin]

Regardless of what someone's personal opinion is about the Air Force being not gung-ho enough or whatever, the fact remains that the U.S. Air Force is the only organization that can strike any target, anywhere on earth, at any time. Airpower can accomplish more than the surface forces, and that's something the Air Force should be proud of.

[Bobble]

When you think about though, there is some basis for the ragging between service members, both former and current.  The Air Force and Navy are both more technically oriented (a sweeping generalization perhaps, but at least IMHO and experience [USN and ARNG]) and for the most part guarantee three hots and a cot during time served.  OTOH, the Army and Marine Corps are out there to put boots on the ground and point the muzzles of small arms at the enemy.  Nothing wrong (and everything right) with that of course, but the perception exists that the Army and Marine Corps as a result are viewed as the 'tougher' sevices physically speaking (speaking in general , again), while the Air Force ('Chair Force'?) and Navy less so.  Again, there are certainly exceptions such as the SEAL and PJ programs. And the distinction between the services is probably less so as a result of the the "Sand Sailor" programs and such that have been instituted by DoD in the last ten years.

But think about it, if you were to enlist, which branch of service would you pick (and pick you can, since we haven't had a draft for 35 odd years)?  What are the chances that you'll be able to acquire a skill or skills that are transferable and valuable to the civilian job market should you decide that 20 years is not for you?  You would probably, after giving it a bit of thought, pick the service that is more technical in nature (see any job listings for Bradley or Stryker drivers lately?).  And maybe, just maybe, you'd want a higher probability that you'll be spending your nights sleeping on a coffin locker rack with a foam mattress instead of a hole in the ground.  Unless of course you have your heart set on wearing a CIB/CAB in your local Veteran's Day parade 25 years down the road.  So a lot of the inter-service rivalry/ribbing is about 1) the perceived level of intelligence (or lack thereof) and 2) the physical hardships required of its' members (or former members) for choosing and serving in their branch of service.

YMMV.

[PHall]

I know the Marines were very, very happy to see us when we landed at Mogadishu.
And it wasn't for the pallets of MRE's we brought either.
It was for the two air conditioned, flush toilets in the comfort pallet on the airplane!

[Flying Pig]

Its pretty simple how this works.

If you never served in the US military, its not your place and you are out of line.  (having relatives who served does not put you in this category by default)

If you served, you will acknowledge that we all enjoy a little humorous inter-service rivalry here and there.

Regardless of what category you fall in to, if you take it a serious or make any of it serious, you are an immature child who needs to grow up.   

[Dad2-4]

Out of 5 boys in my family, oldest to youngest:
1. Army MP during Vietnam, served in SHAPE, Belgium. One son currently in Army Intelligence.
2. No military service.
3. ANG medic during Cold War.
4. No Military service. Houston PD 20+ years. (*the one with the attitude) 2 sons prior service.
5. Me. USAF SP during Cold War.

Added into the family mix:
Dad in the USMC in WW II.
Brother in Law in the Army during Vietnam, but not in SE Asia.
Niece's husband currently in Army Intelligence.
Nephew former USMC just prior to current Iraq/Afghanistan engagements.

So being around a rich military history in our family, I'm the only one who was in the AF. My brother won't change, I'm sure, unless one of his grandchildren eventually grow up to join the AF. Whenever anyone challenges his lack of military service he throws up his PD service as being almost the same and uses his sons' service as if it gives him extra gravitas. I try to avoid military topics with him if at all possible.

[Flying Pig]

I get a kick out of listening to cops who never served in the military compare the two.  It can be quite interesting to hear the logic. I find most of those discussions, if you read between the lines, end up sounding like they are trying to justify why they didnt serve in the military by grasping on to a few similarities.  Guns and rank structure are about the only two things I can find similar. And even that is a far stretch.  I draw that from my 7 years in the infantry and my 15 years as a cop.

[Texas Raiders]

Every branch of the military has roles and specialties that are unique to them and everyone in the military knows that.  Inter-service rivalry has existed for centuries and really doesn't mean anything.  It can be viewed as a demonstration of one's pride in his or her branch.  It's really just ball-busting and can be fun.  Believe me when I say that I'm very familiar with it too.  Hell, I served in the Coast Guard, the red headed step-child of the military services!

[Flying Pig]

Every branch of the military has roles and specialties that are unique to them and everyone in the military knows that.  Inter-service rivalry has existed for centuries and really doesn't mean anything.  It can be viewed as a demonstration of one's pride in his or her branch.  It's really just ball-busting and can be fun.  Believe me when I say that I'm very familiar with it too.  Hell, I served in the Coast Guard, the red headed step-child of the military services!

Red headed step child?  I think I shoved past you guys in the chow hall line a few times just for fun   (That was inter service rivalry for those not familiar with how it works)

[Devil Doc]

Puddle Pirates 

[cap235629]

I get a kick out of listening to cops who never served in the military compare the two.  It can be quite interesting to hear the logic. I find most of those discussions, if you read between the lines, end up sounding like they are trying to justify why they didnt serve in the military by grasping on to a few similarities.  Guns and rank structure are about the only two things I can find similar. And even that is a far stretch.  I draw that from my 7 years in the infantry and my 15 years as a cop.

And isn't it usually the ones who didn't serve who really get into the whole "tacti-kewl robocop" crap.  This from my Army and 12 years as a Cop

[Flying Pig]

Not really that Ive noticed. I think it comes from both sides.

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

Hell, I served in the Coast Guard, the red headed step-child of the military services!

No, that's CAP!  We're the red-headed step-child of the Air Force!

I was a CG Auxiliarist and one term I heard good-naturedly thrown around was "knee-deep Navy."

[Texas Raiders]

Red headed step child?  I think I shoved past you guys in the chow hall line a few times just for fun   (That was inter service rivalry for those not familiar with how it works)

Exactly!

Puddle Pirates 

Argh!

I was a CG Auxiliarist and one term I heard good-naturedly thrown around was "knee-deep Navy."

That's us! 

Every service has nicknames and jokes for the other services.  The important point to remember is that it's just gool ole fashioned ball-busting fun.  You have to be able to laugh.  I will add something though.  If you didn't serve, you don't get bust any service's stones. 

I can tell you that when my Port Security Unit was deployed to Kuwait during OIF, we sure happy to see the Air Force come to town.  They brought their DFAC with them!  Until then, we had been eating out of DFACs run by the Navy and the Army, which literally sent us looking to MREs for sustenance!  Thanks for the good chow, Air Force! 

Here is a stab at the oathes of enlistment jokingly made by a Marine.  I can only speak for the USCG but, they are pretty accurate, for the most part.  Have fun with it and don't forget to laugh. 


US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT:

"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep if I were to join the Navy or the Coast Guard. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.

I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, doughnut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"

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US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT:

"I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date.

I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY."

I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!"

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US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT:

"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet."

I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"

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U.S. COAST GUARD OATH OF ENLISTMENT:

"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that at least twice a day, someone will refer to me as a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small yachts and that are decorated with a huge orange stripe across the bow of them, during the worst of natures storms, and receive no thanks or notice from the public. I will rarely, if never, EVER, have the opportunity to travel overseas. I will fly in helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber than rocks, and then be heckled by the same people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later.!

I will come in contact with so many pollutants during my tenure, that I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to myself as "salty" because of it.

I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD. I will prevent thousands of gallons of pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won't allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean. I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless.

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US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT:

"I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....

fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....

blowup....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....

sailors wives.....air strikes....

SIR yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....

Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH!

So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"

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[Devil Doc]

That is Hill ARR IOUS. Some of the points are right on.

[The CyBorg is destroyed]

Oh, for cryin' out loud...my achin' sides!  I haven't had a laugh like this since...

I wouldn't have thought of the one about the Navy winter dress being confused with the Waffen-SS (after all, the SS kit was single-breasted ).

More like along the lines of the local Yacht Club Commodore, maybe...

[lordmonar]

I win......click on the attachment. 

[SarDragon]

Oh, for cryin' out loud...my achin' sides!  I haven't had a laugh like this since...

I wouldn't have thought of the one about the Navy winter dress being confused with the Waffen-SS (after all, the SS kit was single-breasted ).

More like along the lines of the local Yacht Club Commodore, maybe...

Well, some of the Navy uniforms that were mentioned are now in the realm of ancient lore, so the younger folks might not recognize them.

[PHall]

I win......click on the attachment. 

Lordmonar for the win!   

[MisterCD]

I got that beat.

America's Air Force. No One Comes Close.

[SarDragon]

And?

I did all of the same stuff in the Navy.