Question on Senior Member "Alertness and Functioning Protocols"

[Krapenhoeffer]

Well, the Fire Department just banned electrical coffee brewing devices in apartments.

And I absolutely despise the taste of Starbucks. Is there a way I can still brew good coffee in my dwelling?

I have the ability and power to boil water in my apartment, but my coffee machine just went the way of my George Foreman grill.

[Pylon]

Absolutely!

French press all the way.   

Get a french press, which is basically just a pot with a filter.  I like the double-walled metal ones because they retain heat longer than the fancy glass or clear-plastic ones you can see through.

Get your favorite coffee beans of any variety ground specifically for a french press, and scoop the appropriate amount of grounds into your press.  Boil water by whatever means you can -- tea pot, hot pot, etc.   Pour the hot water onto the grounds and let it steep for about 4 minutes, then press down on the filter to extract the grounds from the coffee.

It will take about the same amount of time as your drip brewer probably did, but you will get MUCH more flavor from pressing your coffee.  And all you'll need is a stove or a hot pot to boil water with, and your press.  I use a Bodum 32 oz. stainless steel press.

[Eclipse]

Well, the Fire Department just banned electrical coffee brewing devices in apartments.

Where?  Under what possible authority could they ban a legal, common device like a coffee machine?

A press is the way to go, otherwise, but be aware what you get will actually be coffee, including the oils usually filtered out by auto-drips, the result is more robust and pure, but can be somewhat of a shock to people used to warm brown water.

[Major Lord]

The Fire Department passes laws where you live? How is the weather in Cuba?

Major Lord

[Al Sayre]

1.  On what authority?
2.  Do they have a warrant to come in your home to see if you have one.
3.  What can they do, charge you with illegal possession of a coffee maker?
4.  What is the penalty for possession?
5.  If true, you should be down at city hall screaming at the top of your lungs not writing about it here. 

Are you being a troll or what?

[NIN]

My bet its college campus.   Happens all the time. Especially when some ham-handed chowderhead attempts to use a coffee machine to burn down the place.

When I was in Korea, the post fire dept had a rule that electrically operated coffee pots in office work areas had to be enclosed in a metal housing.  So our aircraft sheet metal shop made an absolute killing building these things for units all over post.  About 2 1/2 ft of sheet aluminum, a couple dozen rivets, 20 minutes on the press brake, 15 minutes on the work table and 15 minutes of prep & paint and *pow* you had a pretty nice looking enclosure for a drip coffee maker.  And it gave the guys in the sheet metal shop something to do.

[JC004]

1.  On what authority?

Arbitrary?

2.  Do they have a warrant to come in your home to see if you have one.

Pfft.  Rights.  Whatever.  No self-respecting citizen would object to even being strip searched for the possession of a coffee machine or accessories. 

4.  What is the penalty for possession?

Death by hanging?

[BillB]

Death by hanging is better than CAP's method, Death by Power Point

[JC004]

That was the old way.  The new way is that they stab you with the metal Triangle Thingy from Vanguard.  An ICL is to come. 

[Krapenhoeffer]

@Al Sayre, et al.

1: After a pretty bad apartment fire 20 years ago, the City Council voted the authority to the Fire Department.

2: There are a few firefighters who are also sworn Law Enforcement officers in the local FD. Even though they most likely wouldn't, obedience to the law, especially one made with my supposed safety in mind, is a good thing.

3: They can fine me for violating the Fire Code.

4: A fine, and having it confiscated.

5: Voted on, and was upheld by the Council.

Please, I'm not a troll. If I were a troll, I would start a thread on uniforms.

Typically, CAP SMs happen to be good with the wonderful Caffeine liquid, and everyone else in my unit either a) lives in a house (law doesn't apply to them) or b) live outside the city (not in jurisdiction).

And everyone else in my apartment actually likes Starbucks.

@Pylon and Eclipse: Never heard of that, I will look into it.

[raivo]

Is there a way I can still brew good coffee in my dwelling?

Yes. Ignore your Orwellian city council.

[Eclipse]

I can't imagine that law would remotely stand a constitutional challenge, but whatever...

French press:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_press

Some cool ones:  http://www.planetarydesign.us/

http://www.amazon.com/Bodum-16-Ounce-Insulated-Travel-Coffee/dp/B00023KJME/


You can get a press add-on for the jet boil:  http://shop.jetboil.com/index.php/coffee-press.html


And the Aeropress was apparently the #1 single-cup coffee maker last year:
http://aerobie.com/products/aeropress.htm


I have one and am not a big fan.  They are simple with easy clean up, but I think the filter is trapping too much of the oils
which is the point of a press, so the taste isn't as robust - on the other hand if SB's coffee isn't to your liking, this might be the way to go.

You might also consider a 1-cup cone filter coffee maker:  http://www.coffeedetective.com/one-cup-coffee-maker.html

http://www.idealtruevalue.com/servlet/the-137970/Detail

And this site always has good, interesting info on the 1-cup coffee world:  http://www.singleservecoffee.com/

Or you could always go old-school and get a stove-top percolator:

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=stove+top+percolator&hl=en&cid=11098942468283478580&ei=-JBXTJbtLpa0MfLopYwE&sa=title&ved=0CFgQ8wIwCDgA#p

[tsrup]

Next on the list of dangerous household items:

Lamps
power strips
Christmas Trees
Stoves
Scissors
Knives
Bleach
Plastic Wrap
5 gal. buckets
Soap...

Please whatever you do, make sure you protect me from myself!

Of course it is a point to bring up that the ban only applies to apartments... where your idiocy can kill everyone else in the building. 

It's still stupid though...

[Capt_Redfox30]

@Al Sayre, et al.

1: After a pretty bad apartment fire 20 years ago, the City Council voted the authority to the Fire Department.

2: There are a few firefighters who are also sworn Law Enforcement officers in the local FD. Even though they most likely wouldn't, obedience to the law, especially one made with my supposed safety in mind, is a good thing.

3: They can fine me for violating the Fire Code.

4: A fine, and having it confiscated.

5: Voted on, and was upheld by the Council.

Please, I'm not a troll. If I were a troll, I would start a thread on uniforms.

Typically, CAP SMs happen to be good with the wonderful Caffeine liquid, and everyone else in my unit either a) lives in a house (law doesn't apply to them) or b) live outside the city (not in jurisdiction).

And everyone else in my apartment actually likes Starbucks.

@Pylon and Eclipse: Never heard of that, I will look into it.

I know a lot of firefighters and EMS personal in my area and thats all they ever drink, you better go check the fire houses and call centers you know every person in there has there own coffee maker!

[JC004]

I've GOT to see this in writing.  There simply cannot be any way the written code is not hilarious. 

ALL CRAP LAWS ARE MADE WITH AN EXCUSE RELATED TO YOUR WELL-BEING.  Just so you know. 

It often doesn't matter whether you have a law or not.  It's legal to own a machine gun in Pennsylvania.  I've shot them.  They're fun.  Great for squirrel hunting (I made that up - that's illegal).  Do you know what our machine gun shooting death rates are?  Yeah...zip.  Do you know what the rate would be if they banned them?  Probably still zip, or maybe higher, but not likely less than zip.

Are hairdryers illegal?  Those sound dangerous.  Imagine leaving one of those babies on.  Toasters!  FREAKING CRAP.  TOASTERS! 

What sort of utopia has coffee makers as its deepest concern?  I must move there.

I'd probably make a banner to hang from my window: clipart of a coffee maker and the words "You can have my coffee maker...When you pry it from my cold, dead coffee-stained hands."

Plus, when the Coffee Maker Gestapo showed up, the video of them writing you up and walking out with your coffee maker would be precious on YouTube...and CNN, MSNBC, FOX...You can't say that wouldn't just go totally viral and be all over the news.

[DakRadz]

They are especially fond of French press coffee, and have a special deal with the local coffee bean and French press merchants. Therefore, apartment dwellers (they can all buy the coffee bean sacks in bulk, and share) are being targeted to line pockets.

I feel I must warn everyone that Eclipse and Pylon are agents of this corrupt coffee-ring, and their references to French presses are slightly biased.



Tell me that didn't make you spit your French pressed coffee all over the keyboard.

[tsrup]

Hey Dak.. your tinfoil hat is showing. 

[JC004]

...
I feel I must warn everyone that Eclipse and Pylon are agents of this corrupt coffee-ring, and their references to French presses are slightly biased.
...

I have written evidence that Pylon is heavily connected to Starbucks - a GOLD CARD holder, in fact.  It is possible that he is being bribed with Stars to promote this idea.

Other people heavily involved with this group of corrupt Starbucks people have tried promoting their French Press to me.

*hides my Gold Card under the couch*

[DakRadz]

Hey Dak.. your tinfoil hat is showing. 

Actually sir, it's made of the contents of this: http://tinyurl.com/rank-metal-extreme
Much more effective at blocking NHQ mind probes, carried out by Special Black Van Teams, led by the secretly reinstated TP (Lt Gen).

I now leave this thread to the capable hands of this program's Senior Membership.

:clap:

[Krapenhoeffer]

Oh, I wont doubt the existence of the newly created sub-Department of Coffee Enforcement.

One of the other SMs in my squadron is a LEO, and he said that he greatly looks forward to getting a search and seizure warrant for my morning Colombian dark half blend.

But, I'm not going to go against the FD. I have to work with them enough that I know that they don't ban things unless they've gotten calls before about them. Not to mention that I'll soon understand, once I start cross training as a Firefighter next summer.

'Tis a long and lonely road to PhD. I don't even have my B.S. yet...