A public apology

[Duke Dillio]

It is time for me to be a man.

I am a loser, poser wannabe and a jacka** to boot.  This is the first
and only time that I have ever done anything like this.

When I wrote my post, I worded it very carefully.  I didn't think that
it would cause this type of a firestorm.  About 90% of the stuff I put
on there is real.  I did have 3 ARCOM's, 4 AAM's, and the other
ribbons.  I was in ROTC for a short while, and I did receive my Eaker award
when I got to Colorado Springs Cadet Squadron, about a year after I left
CAP as a cadet.  I did earn my Ranger Challenge tab and was also
awarded a Marauder tab in college (University of Oregon).  I told my Bn SGM,
a former Ranger Batt. 1SG, that I wanted to be a Ranger.  He gave me a
tab and told me to go and earn it.

I left college to be a Ranger.  I got an enlistment contract with the
RGV4 code and took the 13F MOS to get it.  I didn't make it to RIP.  I was
then stationed at Fort Carson from Dec. 1996 to June 1998 with 3/29 FA.
  I also made a pit stop in Kuwait from Sept. 97-Dec. 97.  I got my
orders for Korea while I was there.  I was with the 1/506 (AA) IN in Korea
stationed at Camp Greaves and Camp Giant.  I reenlisted to come back to
Ft. Carson because of my ex-wife (another stupid move).  During the
reenlistment ceremony, I was given a pair of Korean jump wings with a hat
and my rank on it from a KATUSA.  Upon returning to Carson, I had one
more chance at Ranger School.  I didn't get a slot.  My Army career and
my marriage were quickly going down the tubes and I attempted suicide
three times before I was put out of the Army for a "personality
disorder."  I was fully intent on waiting out the two years before I could
reenlist with the sole goal of getting to Ranger School.  Then, I got
Lautenburged.

I honestly feel that I have let everyone down.  I grew up wanting to be
like my dad, Gordon McIntosh, Terry Clark, and some of the other guys
that I knew and greatly respected.  I remember seeing my dreams crash
as the RIP instructors picked up the other guys in front of 1/507th.
  From there, my life went downhill.  I have never been a true Army Ranger,
and never deserved to be.  I wanted the brotherhood and the chance to
feel that I was part of something special.  I now realize that I am
simply a sack of cow poo festering below a field latrine.

To every Ranger who has ever served, I give you my deepest apology.  To
those who have died, on the battlefield and elsewhere, my deepest
respect.   To anyone who tries to fake the tab, realize that you will
eventually be hunted and your true colors will show.  For anyone trying to
deceive now, come straight.  You know who you are and you know that you
didn't do what you say you did.  A true Ranger knows a brother and can
sniff the BS you lay down.  To everyone I have let down, I don't know
what to say.  I am simply a moron for thinking that I was something I am
not.

With the deepest respect I add:

Rangers Will Always Lead the Way

Personal note to "Bubba:"  You are a true inspiration to all of your
students.  Teach them to be the best.  Lord knows I could have learned a
lot from you.

[Stonewall]

I wanted so much to believe you dude.  I truly did.  It was just too far fetched to comprehend.  At one point, I felt the fool, but only after a few drinks that evening.  I have actually put my life and that of my wife at risk by busting a full fledged phony SEAL.  After I took pictures of his uniform and passed them on to a friend, a retired Command Master Chief (SEAL), who confronted him, he sought revenge.  This guy left the navy as an IT/IS type with a TS SCI clearance and went to work for an OGA.  He lost his clearance and way of life.  Not because of me, but because of him.  But he couldn't blame himself.

Regardless of what has happened and how much persuasion it took, you did the right thing by publicly admitting to your wrong doing.

I still think some sort of reprimand is in order, but to what extent, I don't know.  Do I feel like you should be kicked out of CAP?  No.  But perhaps a probation of sorts. 

Know this.  You have grown from this and hopefully someone else on this forum has learned a lesson.  Moral Leadership lesson?  Dern right.  Life lesson?  Absolutely.

Thank you for your apology.  I just wish it wasn't necessary.

Kirt

RIP Class 3-92 (Bolo via injury during jump into final FTX)

PS:  For those who may question:  I was in the same RIP class as folks like John Collett.  RIP instructors were folks like SSG Gibson (one of the twins/purple heart from Panama), SGT Tow, SSG Bergman.  RIP Holdover NCOIC was SSG Boyden.  Spent from 10/91 to 4/92 at 75th RGR RGT in RIP or RIP Holdover.  Also tried out in class 5/92 and 6/92.  Failed PT test due to injury from 3/92.

[SDF_Specialist]

I admire your actions for being a man, and coming clean. Although I have no clue what this is about, it must have been important for you to apologize publicly for it. You did the right thing, and I admire that.

[Duke Dillio]

I will be talking to my squadron commander about this when I can get a minute off of work.  I would voluntarily terminate my membership if that is what is asked of me.  I still owe you like a keg of beverage there Kirt.  Sorry for letting you down.

[Uranogo]

in the apology when he refers to Bubba he is talking about me.
The real question is have your worn any awards such as the Ranger Tab, Bubble or Halo/Airborne wings. Did you even complete ABN Tng?

[mikeylikey]

^  Kirt, you said some things I would have said.  However, there should never be any praise for doing what this man has done.  Sure he came out with the truth, but only after we all pretty much bashed him.  After reading some of the posts (like the one about stolen honor) he decides to come clean.  Why......because he knows he did something wrong, but only would admit it after seeing what the negative consequences could be.  

He states "he worded the post very carefully......didn't think it would cause a firestorm".  Well, it did.  It will be what people here remember him for.  It will be what causes him to lose respect from every member of his CAP unit.  I feel bad for him now.

First, to everyone, just because you are given a badge DOES NOT MEAN you earned it.  IT also does not mean......put it on your uniform.

Second, I feel slighted that this man only saw being an Army Ranger as doing true service in the Army.  Every single on of our men and women in uniform is a hero.  

Third, please EVERYONE don't post your tried to kill yourself.  I don't want to read that, nor does anyone else (in fact, I am wondering if we should call for professional help for this man after what he has done).

I hope this is a turning point in this mans life.  He needs to move on from here and reevaluate what his life is about.  Does he accept himself as himself or some make-believe liar.  

Now I will say my apologies.  I have been an ass in the past to many people here, I am working on it.  However, I can not stand liars.  Liars have no honor, and will always be a liar.  I am glad this man came forward, it only goes to show that liars are easily identifiable and transparent.

I wonder if his latest post is in some way or part a LIE.  I can not trust what is written there.


I am a major [censored], I don't care if you call me out on it.  But I would rather be an [censored] than a liar.  I will happily back up everything I have ever written here by PM, email or a friendly in person meeting.  (Colgan can attest to the meeting part, as he was the first person I confronted face to face based on what he had written on CAPTALK).  

OK boys and girls, what did we learn tonight?  Quick answer.....don't lie.  It only brings crap to your front door.

[mikeylikey]

I admire your actions for being a man, and coming clean. Although I have no clue what this is about, it must have been important for you to apologize publicly for it. You did the right thing, and I admire that.

Doing the right thing after doing a HUGE wrong thing does not make anything right!

[mikeylikey]

I will be talking to my squadron commander about this when I can get a minute off of work.  I would voluntarily terminate my membership if that is what is asked of me.  I still owe you like a keg of beverage there Kirt.  Sorry for letting you down.

You need to decide what is best to do.  Not the other way around.  If you are sincere enough you will resign your membership.  Don't bring it up if you are not serious dude!

[SDF_Specialist]

I admire your actions for being a man, and coming clean. Although I have no clue what this is about, it must have been important for you to apologize publicly for it. You did the right thing, and I admire that.

Doing the right thing after doing a HUGE wrong thing does not make anything right!

As I stated, I have no clue what this was about, but I admired that he did apologize about it. I agree with you, but there were far worse roads to take such as the "let's continue with it" road.

[Stonewall]

Second, I feel slighted that this man only saw being an Army Ranger as doing true service in the Army.  Every single on of our men and women in uniform is a hero.  

So important and so true.  

I have a friend.  A guy who was a former cadet with me 20 years ago.  He is a police instructor now.  He went into the Army and was Chapter 11'd under 6 months.  That means he failed to adapt to a military environment.

3 or 4 years later, he tried out for National Guard SF.  Whatever happened, he didn't even go to SFAS.

Today, the entire department both of us now work for thinks he was some special operations guru/Ranger.  Everyone from a retired Ranger Instructor E-8 to a newly hired retired Army Sgt Maj believes this man was something he is not.  The problem is, I've know him for 20 years an it is hard to confront.  I've done so in my own way, by talking about things like what sargrunt pulled and the phony SEAL I busted.  I speak of how soldiers like mechanics and cooks are just as necessary and honored as those with a tower of power on their arms.  I'm not sure he's getting it, but he knows that I'm about to unleash on him.  I'll lose a friend over this and I'm worried about how he'll react.  Not sure he's too stable and capable of handling this.

Anyway, I digress.  I hope what mikeylikey said is understood by everyone here.  I have only mentioned my "RIP affiliation" one other time, about 6 years ago on another forum; only as a basis for knowledge.  It's nothing, just a short 5 or 6 month period in my life that happened 16 years ago.  Things I have done and many others such as server honorably are far more important than certificates, tabs, badges or ribbons.  

Ribbons and badges like we illustrated on this site, for some, may be a small hobby or form of entertainment.  In some ways, it's a way to brag about your accomplishments.  But no one need to make up something to impress another.

[PaulR]

I am with everyone else.  Is this apology a result of sincere feeling of guilt or is it a result of a bunch of us pissed off vets giving ya a bit of heat!! 

There is nothing more despicable than a person who would readily claim laurels that he/she did not earn.  What did you think you would get as a result?     A free cookie?

I am further perplexed as you should have been proud of the things you claimed to have accomplished.  Being awarded 3 ARCOMS and 4 AAMs is nothing to sneeze at in today's military.  Why did you feel the need to embellish all of these "extras"?  But because of these "little fibs", how do we know if you really have citations for even  these medals?  How do we even know that you were even in the Army?  You see, a ruined credibility is a bad thing!!  This reminds me of the Navy Admiral whose career(and stupidly, his life by his own hands) ended because of the fraudulent addition of a simple "V"  to a ribbon.

The old saying that, "today is the first day of the rest of your life" holds true.  The past cannot be changed.  My advice to you is to go forward and take this as a lesson learned.  This too will pass.

Paul

[mikeylikey]

I admire your actions for being a man, and coming clean. Although I have no clue what this is about, it must have been important for you to apologize publicly for it. You did the right thing, and I admire that.

Doing the right thing after doing a HUGE wrong thing does not make anything right!

As I stated, I have no clue what this was about, but I admired that he did apologize about it. I agree with you, but there were far worse roads to take such as the "let's continue with it" road.

Why don't you take the two seconds to go find his postings on here.  Then you will understand. 

Here is a good link to MOAA and an article about FAKE heroes and people claiming awards they did not receive.  http://www.moaa.org/todaysofficer/military/fake_heroes.asp

Also go here for some ways to report fake veterans and liars, as well as look up some of your past buddies who have lied.  (note, not everyones buddy or friend will be listed, it is only those that may be questionable individuals)  http://www.pownetwork.org/phonies/phonies.htm

[SDF_Specialist]

I admire your actions for being a man, and coming clean. Although I have no clue what this is about, it must have been important for you to apologize publicly for it. You did the right thing, and I admire that.

Doing the right thing after doing a HUGE wrong thing does not make anything right!

As I stated, I have no clue what this was about, but I admired that he did apologize about it. I agree with you, but there were far worse roads to take such as the "let's continue with it" road.

Why don't you take the two seconds to go find his postings on here.  Then you will understand. 

Here is a good link to MOAA and an article about FAKE heroes and people claiming awards they did not receive.  http://www.moaa.org/todaysofficer/military/fake_heroes.asp

Also go here for some ways to report fake veterans and liars, as well as look up some of your past buddies who have lied.  (note, not everyones buddy or friend will be listed, it is only those that may be questionable individuals)  http://www.pownetwork.org/phonies/phonies.htm

Mikey, after reading the response posts on here, I did go and check out his posts, and I understand what the deal is about now. I still admire his coming out and apologizing for his wrong doing, but I am mortified by what I read.

Sargrunt, my suggestion is to not leave your fate in the hands of your commander. You honestly do need to make the right choice yourself, and honestly take this as a learning experience.

[mikeylikey]

I admire your actions for being a man, and coming clean. Although I have no clue what this is about, it must have been important for you to apologize publicly for it. You did the right thing, and I admire that.

Doing the right thing after doing a HUGE wrong thing does not make anything right!

As I stated, I have no clue what this was about, but I admired that he did apologize about it. I agree with you, but there were far worse roads to take such as the "let's continue with it" road.

Why don't you take the two seconds to go find his postings on here.  Then you will understand. 

Here is a good link to MOAA and an article about FAKE heroes and people claiming awards they did not receive.  http://www.moaa.org/todaysofficer/military/fake_heroes.asp

Also go here for some ways to report fake veterans and liars, as well as look up some of your past buddies who have lied.  (note, not everyones buddy or friend will be listed, it is only those that may be questionable individuals)  http://www.pownetwork.org/phonies/phonies.htm

Mikey, after reading the response posts on here, I did go and check out his posts, and I understand what the deal is about now. I still admire his coming out and apologizing for his wrong doing, but I am mortified by what I read.

Sargrunt, my suggestion is to not leave your fate in the hands of your commander. You honestly do need to make the right choice yourself, and honestly take this as a learning experience.

Sorry.....I probably came off just a tad bit harsh.  Nothing related to you or your post I assure you!

[Eclipse]

This over-emphasis on the need to be in a >specific< service, holding as failure a military career, no matter how honored, as a failure because of a missing tab or MOS, needs to be tempered in our young people.

Yes, Rangers, Seals, Green Berets, and Airborne are all elite in their mission, attitude, and training, but to set yourself up at a young age to be a "Ranger or bust" is foolish and dangerous.

With the resurgence of the military's status in US society, I also noticed, within CAP (which is my mil-spec exposure) too many young men with high-n-tights, wearing berets as if the "earned" them, marching to
Ranger cadences, and in general acting as if they have already completed BMT and jump school.

When these same young men are corrected for making 15-year-old mistakes, they react as if their military career, and thus life, is over.  Rather than building on lessons learned, to the point of being ready to begin that experience, they hold themselves to a standard they aren't remotely ready, or trained, for.
No wonder many are wound tight enough to contemplate hurting themselves when things don't go right.

We, as leaders and mentors in CAP, need to recognize these behaviors early on, discourage it within the organization, and work with parents to insure they are not feeding the machine.

[SDF_Specialist]

I admire your actions for being a man, and coming clean. Although I have no clue what this is about, it must have been important for you to apologize publicly for it. You did the right thing, and I admire that.

Doing the right thing after doing a HUGE wrong thing does not make anything right!

As I stated, I have no clue what this was about, but I admired that he did apologize about it. I agree with you, but there were far worse roads to take such as the "let's continue with it" road.

Why don't you take the two seconds to go find his postings on here.  Then you will understand. 

Here is a good link to MOAA and an article about FAKE heroes and people claiming awards they did not receive.  http://www.moaa.org/todaysofficer/military/fake_heroes.asp

Also go here for some ways to report fake veterans and liars, as well as look up some of your past buddies who have lied.  (note, not everyones buddy or friend will be listed, it is only those that may be questionable individuals)  http://www.pownetwork.org/phonies/phonies.htm

Mikey, after reading the response posts on here, I did go and check out his posts, and I understand what the deal is about now. I still admire his coming out and apologizing for his wrong doing, but I am mortified by what I read.

Sargrunt, my suggestion is to not leave your fate in the hands of your commander. You honestly do need to make the right choice yourself, and honestly take this as a learning experience.

Sorry.....I probably came off just a tad bit harsh.  Nothing related to you or your post I assure you!

No offense taken. I just wanted to assure you that I was not taking you, or this situation with a grain of salt.

[Duke Dillio]

There was no excuse for my actions.  I feel that I have discredited the CAP.  I also know that I have learned a valuable life lesson which should be passed on to others.  It has really gotten to a point where I need to sit down for a while and try to figure out what is real and what is not because I have lived so long in this "lying haze."  I can't explain why I did what I did.  I can truly tell you that this has been on my mind for the last week or so.  I haven't eaten anything and I haven't been able to sleep.  I came forward on my own admonition because I knew that it was the right thing to do.  I made up my mind to come clean and sent this apology to "Uranogo" and "Stonewall."  I sent a copy of this apology to the administrators for airborneranger.com and armyranger.com and asked them to put it in their Poser Patrol forums.  I also posted this same notice on military.com and here at the request of "Uranogo."  Noone forced me to make this apology, and it still doesn't make my actions right by any means.

The only tab that I have ever worn was my "Marauder" tab from ROTC on my ROTC uniform.  I've worn two black berets in my life, one with the ROTC (Marauder tab with U of O insignia) and a newly issued black beret from the Army with the blue flash and stars and my unit crest just before I got out.  I have never worn the air assault wings, an EIB, a Ranger tab, the SCUBA bubbles, or any other device that I was not authorized in writing that I can remember.  I do not own any of these devices.

I will never again wear any military award or device lest I rejoin the service somehow and am required to do so.  I have been with my fiancee for about two years or so and had told her some of my stories.  Needless to say, I told her this morning what I had done and how I had lied to her.  While it was hard enough to tell you guys, I don't think any of you would imagine having to tell this to someone you love.

I leave you with a quick quote from despair.com:

Humiliation - the harder I try, the dumber I look

   

[Eagle400]

I still think some sort of reprimand is in order, but to what extent, I don't know.  Do I feel like you should be kicked out of CAP?  No.  But perhaps a probation of sorts.

Not trying to start an argument, but if sargrunt was non prior-service, would you recommend the same disciplinary action?

Reason I ask is because some people think that a civilian lying about military achievements not earned is worse than a military or prior-service civilian lying about military achievements not earned.  My opinion is that it doesn't matter whether the person has military experience or not. 

Please note: I have great respect for Lt Col Bowden and I do not question his integrity.  I'm just curious as to whether he has the same view on this as I do. 

[Grumpy]

This is crazy, am I the only one that doesn't have a life, or does everyone sit and read these postings?

[Uranogo]

PS:  For those who may question:  I was in the same RIP class as folks like John Collett.  SSG Gibson (one of the twins/purple heart from Panama),
SGT Tow,
SSG Bergman. 

Collette, gained fame from BHD

Gibson is a CSM, In Iraq, had his mess SGT open the chow hall and feed my 12 man team at 0100 even though we were not in the unit. did it just because we were Ranger buddies

Tow is a shooter

Bergman, AKA Birdog is a Great Ranger Buddy


Sargrunt, DID YOU GRADUATE AIRBORNE?

BTW, you didn't come forth, I drove you out into the spotlight. I called it from my first post. It was only a matter of time before my checks of your record came back with the truth, leaving you no options.