ABUs

[LSThiker]

Having worn both suede and leather boots, I think they are both fine.  The USAF and CAP have spoken and black boots it is.  They both have pros and cons each.  Personally, I like the suede boots as it eliminates the unnecessary time polishing them.  Sure they can stain if oil or other harsh chemicals are on them.  Nevertheless, the world has not ended yet because a pair of stained suede boots. 

But then again:

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

[stillamarine]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

[THRAWN]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

I've had a pair of boots that I've worn most days for the past 20+ years. It doesn't take that long to put a coat of polish on them.

[NIN]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

I've lived in my current place for 2 years. When I moved in, my shoe shine kit went into the gaping maw that is the basement. I haven't seen it since. Neither have my jump boots. They still look awesome. 

[kwe1009]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

I've lived in my current place for 2 years. When I moved in, my shoe shine kit went into the gaping maw that is the basement. I haven't seen it since. Neither have my jump boots. They still look awesome. 

When I joined CAP a few years ago, I pulled my boots out of my duffle bag, wiped off the dust and buffed them with a stocking and they looked great.  They had been in storage for probably 4 years at that point.  I don't think I ever spent more than 10-15 minutes on my boots, even when I was doing Honor Guard in the Air Force.

[Eclipse]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

You're clearly doing it wrong.  Shining boots properly requires water from the highest mountain spring, a dragon's breath to heat the
polish, and a cloth made from the Veil of the Bride of Grabthar.

[Holding Pattern]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

You're clearly doing it wrong.  Shining boots properly requires water from the highest mountain spring, a dragon's breath to heat the
polish, and a cloth made from the Veil of the Bride of Grabthar.

I also chant "Never give up, Never surrender" while preparing the shoes to be polished.

Transition to "I will not fear, fear is the mindkiller" when actually polishing.

[SarDragon]

"Buffin' it out, buffin'  it out,
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
Buffin' it ou-u-u-ut"

With the BeeGees singing in the background.

[Luis R. Ramos]

Hey!

That "Buffin it out" chant fits right in with the count for the CPR compresions just like the Stayin' Alive and Another One Beats the Bush by Queen!

[SarDragon]

Hey!

That "Buffin it out" chant fits right in with the count for the CPR compresions just like the Stayin' Alive and Another One Beats the Bush by Queen!

"Buffin it out" = Stayin' Alive

Your music foo is weak. 

[Spam]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

You're clearly doing it wrong.  Shining boots properly requires water from the highest mountain spring, a dragon's breath to heat the
polish, and a cloth made from the Veil of the Bride of Grabthar.

I also chant "Never give up, Never surrender" while preparing the shoes to be polished.

Transition to "I will not fear, fear is the mindkiller" when actually polishing.

Fear is the little stain, that brings total shine obliteration. I will face my fear, and will permit the polish to pass over my boot leather, and when it has gone past I will turn my inner eye to see the path of the cloth over the boot, and where the cloth and brush have gone there will be nothing.

Only the shine will remain!

V/R
Spam

("Kull Wahad! From his mouth, he gives water to the shine!")

("FATHER!  The SHINE MUST AWAKEN"!)

[THRAWN]

https://youtu.be/R0sw2CgysWY

https://youtu.be/uR131fc2pZY   

[KASSRCrashResearch]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

Someone else has probably pointed this out but- at the risk of sounding like I should be shaking my fist at people trespassing on my grass- the idea of spending even a few minutes accomplishing something like that is foreign to many people especially those of a generation that gripes if a website takes more than five seconds to load.  LOL

[NIN]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

You're clearly doing it wrong.  Shining boots properly requires water from the highest mountain spring, a dragon's breath to heat the
polish, and a cloth made from the Veil of the Bride of Grabthar.

I also chant "Never give up, Never surrender" while preparing the shoes to be polished.

Transition to "I will not fear, fear is the mindkiller" when actually polishing.

When I shine my boots, I obtain only the highest quality wax meticulously collected from the Himalayan Cliff Bee, darkened with vegan grown enzymes and pigments, lightly whipped into a fondue and garnished with a emulsion of Andean Bear urine and organic cellulose residue.   I then use yak tears harvested from the high steppes of Kazakhstan, held in a artisan blown glass dish atop a portable dewar of liquid oxygen distilled by SpaceX to wet my 1000 year old cotton polishing cloth before I dab the polish on and begin a 4-7 hour loving Buhddist chant cycle while making 1-2 nanometer diameter circles in the polish...

What, doesn't everybody else do that?

[lordmonar]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

You're clearly doing it wrong.  Shining boots properly requires water from the highest mountain spring, a dragon's breath to heat the
polish, and a cloth made from the Veil of the Bride of Grabthar.

I also chant "Never give up, Never surrender" while preparing the shoes to be polished.

Transition to "I will not fear, fear is the mindkiller" when actually polishing.

When I shine my boots, I obtain only the highest quality wax meticulously collected from the Himalayan Cliff Bee, darkened with vegan grown enzymes and pigments, lightly whipped into a fondue and garnished with a emulsion of Andean Bear urine and organic cellulose residue.   I then use yak tears harvested from the high steppes of Kazakhstan, held in a artisan blown glass dish atop a portable dewar of liquid oxygen distilled by SpaceX to wet my 1000 year old cotton polishing cloth before I dab the polish on and begin a 4-7 hour loving Buhddist chant cycle while making 1-2 nanometer diameter circles in the polish...

What, doesn't everybody else do that?

And garnished with Lark's Vomit.

[wacapgh]

Lark's Vomit? It doesn't say anything about that on the package!

[NIN]

Lark's Vomit? It doesn't say anything about that on the package!

Yes it does, right under "monosodium gluetimate."

[JoeTomasone]

I'm just going to get black suede boots.  Problem solved!

[MacGruff]

I'm trying to figure out what takes everybody so long to shine a pair of boots. Once you get a good base on them it takes minutes to make them shiny again. I wear black boots everyday and they have to be shined. Yesterday my boots got all sorts of scuffed up. Took me less than 5 minutes to make them shiny. My CAP boots I didn't even have to shine this week because they were still shined from two weeks ago.

You're clearly doing it wrong.  Shining boots properly requires water from the highest mountain spring, a dragon's breath to heat the
polish, and a cloth made from the Veil of the Bride of Grabthar.

I also chant "Never give up, Never surrender" while preparing the shoes to be polished.

Transition to "I will not fear, fear is the mindkiller" when actually polishing.

When I shine my boots, I obtain only the highest quality wax meticulously collected from the Himalayan Cliff Bee, darkened with vegan grown enzymes and pigments, lightly whipped into a fondue and garnished with a emulsion of Andean Bear urine and organic cellulose residue.   I then use yak tears harvested from the high steppes of Kazakhstan, held in a artisan blown glass dish atop a portable dewar of liquid oxygen distilled by SpaceX to wet my 1000 year old cotton polishing cloth before I dab the polish on and begin a 4-7 hour loving Buhddist chant cycle while making 1-2 nanometer diameter circles in the polish...

What, doesn't everybody else do that?

Hey Nin,

cellulose residue would make the wax very grainy.

LOX would cause the yak tears to freeze solid, which makes it very hard to use.

Cotton wasn't popular in Europe until well into the Medieval period, which would put the origin of that cloth outside of Europe, and thus quite unlikely. Also, it probably would have rotted, or fallen apart well before this point.

1-2 nm diameter circles are well below the wavelength of visible light, thus would be completely imperceptible. In fact, given the wavelength of 1-2 nm, that puts us squarely in the X-ray band, which may cause issues.

Overall Score: Need to work on your polishing technique. It does not meet CAP standards, and will leave your boots both destroyed, and worse yet, matte.

[Sketch]

Having already worn ABUs previously, I'm planning to stick with the BBDUs as well simply because they are far more comfortable and functional in the field. ABUs were never really designed to function outside of an office/CONUS environment which is why the vast majority of Air Force line personnel overseas wear Multicam (there are exceptions obviously). Again, I didn't wear them in the field which I'm greatful for because they are heavy and don't breathe. This was a few years ago so maybe a lighter version has come out, but my overall impression was no thanks.

I'm sure I'll get plenty of opposition for this too, but I never really saw the purpose to switch to ABUs specifically other than just to say "hey air force, look, over here, we're part of the club too!" even though some would argue against that. Sure we are technically members of "total force", but at the end of the day having ABUs doesn't really serve a purpose to us beyond just being the USAF Aux. Do we need a new working uniform? Yes; however I feel ABUs will end up being disliked by CAP members over time.