Non locking thread- hopefully.

[Duke Dillio]

So, this horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

[♠SARKID♠]

Pilot's Ten Commandments

   1. Thou shalt abstain from the intersection takeoff for verily the runway behind thee, as the altitude above thee, cometh not to thine aid when thou needest them.

   2. Thou shalt not linger on active runways lest thou become like unto ground sirloin.

   3. Ignorest thou not thy checklists for many are the switches, handles, gauges and other demons awaiting to take cruel vengeance upon thee.

   4. Thou shalt cast thine eyes to thy right and also to thy left as thou passeth through the firmament lest thy fellow pilots bring flowers to thy widow and comfort her in other ways.

   5. Buzzeth not, for this shall surely incur the wrath of thy neighbors and the fury of the FAA shall be called down upon thy head.

   6. Thou shalt be ever mindful of thy fuel lest there be nothing in thy tank to sustain thee upon the air and thy days be made short.

   7. Trust not thine eyes to lead thee through the cloud lest the Archangel Gabriel await thee therein.

   8. Thou shalt not trespass into the thunderstorm lest the tempest rend the wings from thy chariot and cast thee naked into the firmament.

   9. Put not thy trust in weather prophets, for when the truth is not in, then they shall not accompany thee among thy ancestors.

  10. Often shalt thou confirm thine airspeed on final lest the earth rise up and smite thee.


Flying Clichés:

No matter what else happens, fly the airplane.
Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity;
an airplane flies because of money.

It's better to be down here wishing you were up there,
than up there wishing you were down here.

If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night,
turn on the landing lights to see the landing area.
If you don't like what you see, turn' em back off.

A check ride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting
but still be long enough to cover everything.

Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.
No one has ever collided with the sky.

Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.

Never let an airplane take you somewhere
your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone.
An airplane flies because of a principle discovered by
Bernoulli, not Marconi.

"Unskilled" pilots are always found in the wreckage
with their hand around the microphone.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger;
if you pull the stick back they get smaller.
(Unless you keep pulling the stick back-then they get bigger again.)

Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first!

Everyone already knows the definition of a 'good' landing
is one from which you can walk away.
But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.
It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

IFR: I Follow Roads.

You know you've landed with the wheels up
when it takes full power to taxi.

Those who hoot with the owls by night,
should not fly with the eagles by day.

A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round
and reciprocating parts going up and down -
all of them trying to become random in motion.

Helicopters can't really fly -
they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.

Pilots believe in clean living.
They never drink whiskey from a dirty glass.

Things which do you no good in aviation:
Altitude above you.
Runways behind you.
Fuel in the truck.
Half a second ago.
Approach plates in the car.
The airspeed you don't have.

If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.

What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA
is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.

Trust your captain but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.

Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast
can be sold the Brooklyn Bridge.
If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.

The friendliest flight attendants are those on the trip home.

Good judgment comes from experience
and experience comes from bad judgment.

Being an airline pilot would be great
if you didn't have to go on all those trips.

Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.

Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot
is a copilot who once was a captain.

It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway
that caused an accident,
the NTSB would find a way to blame it on pilot error.

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.

It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation.
You start with a large fortune.

A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying,
and about flying when he's with a woman.

A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft
after making a gear up landing
is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.

Try to keep the number of your landings equal
to the number of your takeoffs.

Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.


CAP Quotes:

"Pull stick back plane go up, pull stick all the way back plane go down." -Andy Stockhousen, CAP

"Someday they are going to make an airplane were the cockpit isn't an afterthought." -Lt Col Dan Donovan, CFII

"Procedure, procedure, procedure. Do that and you'll never go wrong." -Lt Col Dan Donovan, CFII

"When the paperwork equals the weight of the airplane, it's time to fly." -Lt Col Dan Donovan, CFII


MY QUOTE!

Some people are like slinkys. They arent really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

[Cecil DP]

Off topic question sparked by hte flags in the colgan shot...

I know AF has blue for Officer Flags and the Army Red. But what about the others?

Second question: Is it just General Officers/Admirals or do Bird Colonels/Captains get a flag too?

I know this is a late response But

Holders of the Medal of Honor also have a flag of 13 stars on a blue flag in the formation as shown on the medal itself.  Also Secretarys and Assistant Secretaries of Defense and the Services

[RogueLeader]

Pilot's Ten Commandments
. . .

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
. . .

It's supposed to be
"The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.  Large angle of arrival, small chance of survival, and vice versa."

But very good.  Got me laugh today.

[Skyray]

I had an LSO (Landing Signals Officer) whose comment was: "the object of this exercise is to land it on the runway, Johnson, not stick it up in the end."

[♠SARKID♠]

It's supposed to be
"The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.  Large angle of arrival, small chance of survival, and vice versa."

Duly noted and modified

[MIKE]

I so want to lock this thread.

[JC004]

I so want to lock this thread.

[RogueLeader]

^^ and rip my heart out? Why?

[MIKE]

Because I can... Locking threads makes me happy... Plus, I do not particularly care for junk posting and junk threads where the only real purpose is to increase ones post count.  It's borderline spam.  Oh.. and juvenile too.

[RogueLeader]

Because I can... Locking threads makes me happy... Plus, I do not particularly care for junk posting and junk threads where the only real purpose is to increase ones post count.  It's borderline spam.  Oh.. and juvenile too.

As for the jokes, they have made me laugh, and that in turn has lifted my morale.  Is that a problem?

Locking threads make you happy, laughing makes me happy. . . . I don't want to know who'd win here. . .

[CadetProgramGuy]

Because I can... Locking threads makes me happy... Plus, I do not particularly care for junk posting and junk threads where the only real purpose is to increase ones post count.  It's borderline spam.  Oh.. and juvenile too.

As for the jokes, they have made me laugh, and that in turn has lifted my morale.  Is that a problem?

Locking threads make you happy, laughing makes me happy. . . . I don't want to know who'd win here. . .

Lets see.....Moderator or Blogger.......

In the words of isuhawkeye......"THUNDERDOME!!!"

[Duke Dillio]

Because I can... Locking threads makes me happy... Plus, I do not particularly care for junk posting and junk threads where the only real purpose is to increase ones post count.  It's borderline spam.  Oh.. and juvenile too.

As for the jokes, they have made me laugh, and that in turn has lifted my morale.  Is that a problem?

Locking threads make you happy, laughing makes me happy. . . . I don't want to know who'd win here. . .

Lets see.....Moderator or Blogger.......

In the words of isuhawkeye......"THUNDERDOME!!!"

Hmmmm, hard one there.  I'm gonna have to go with the Moderator on this one.

[MIKE]

Super Moderator for the win!