Vanguard Has a Sense of Humor

[SeattleSarge]

I thought I would share this message I sent to the Chief Operating Officer of Vanguard Industries today.

This message marks the end of a six month ordeal trying to work with them to produce and eventually deliver TSgt epaulets for the new corporate uniform. 

Message Start:


Mr. Harrison,

I just wanted to thank you for that funny package your company sent today.

UPS just surprised me with a Two-Day Air delivery.  I was surprised since (as I pledged) I didn't order anything from Vanguard.  After the UPS guy handed it to me, I made some comment about it probably being epaulets for the Bolivian Navy or something.  He smiled and walked away without turning his back to me.

Anyway, I opened the package and was surprised by yet another set of NCO epaulets.  I checked the packing slip and was surprised again to learn that it was the replacement for the original Technical Flight Officer epaulets I returned so many weeks ago.  Apparently, your returns department didn't know you already shipped the proper epaulets to me earlier.

What really made me laugh out loud, was when I inspected the package, I found one Tech Sergeant epaulet and one Staff Sergeant epaulet.  I laughed so hard, tears came to my eyes, and I thought, of course, its Vanguard after all.

I'm returning these items to your Norfolk facility since I didn't pay for them.  The price for USPS priority mail is well worth the good time I had receiving this surprise.

Thanks again for the good laugh.  You knuckleheads really crack me up.

-Ron Kruml

Ronald G. Kruml, TSgt, CAP
Public Affairs - Mission Aircrewman
Seattle Composite Squadron PCR-WA-018
http://www.capseattlesquadron.org


Postscript:

Mr. Harrison did get involved and provided the items free of charge after many messages and unreturned phone calls from his staff.  Yes, National Headquarters was copied on all correspondence including the above message.

[RogueLeader]

Hilarious, absolutely hilarious.

[Eclipse]

You had me until "knuckleheads".

Being direct gets results, being insulting just hacks people off...

[SeattleSarge]

You had me until "knuckleheads".

Being direct gets results, being insulting just hacks people off...

It was written in a playful context.

After being jerked around for six months with complaints filed with the Washington State Attorney General's Office and the Postal Inspection Service, I think I've earned the right to a little literary license...

[mikeylikey]

ummm........Vanguard has been a joke to ACTIVE DUTY/ RESERVE/ NATIONAL GUARD/ UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT for years.  Too bad the federal contracts they have are for 15 years! 

[Hawk200]

You had me until "knuckleheads".

Being direct gets results, being insulting just hacks people off...

I had an aunt that called me that for years. I never took it as a heinous insult. Most of the time someone gets called that when they do something brainless (as in didn't think about it), and it kind of sticks.

Does "knucklehead" really have that bad a connotation? Not challenging, just legitimately curious.

[NIN]

You had me until "knuckleheads".

Being direct gets results, being insulting just hacks people off...

Unless you're a knucklehead. Then it just sails over your noggin.

[Hawk200]

You had me until "knuckleheads".

Being direct gets results, being insulting just hacks people off...

Unless you're a knucklehead. Then it just sails over your noggin.

Gee, thanks...

[acarlson]

You had me until "knuckleheads".

Being direct gets results, being insulting just hacks people off...

me thinks Bob Williams has never attempted to order ANYthing from Vanguard!

Vanguard really hacks me off!

[RogueLeader]

Why don't we ALL just keep it cool, and take it as a poke at Vanguard in jest, not real.


P.S. If it was real, it is a taste of what they put US through.

[Eclipse]

I agree they have issues, I have ordered stuff from there, though ONLY what I absolutely needed, but again, your letter was spot on until the insult.

knuck·le·head  (nkl-hd)
n. Informal
A stupid person; a blockhead.

[Mustang]

Staff Sergeant epaulet??

[Pylon]

Staff Sergeant epaulet??

The grey, embroidered CAP NCO epaulet sleeves that can be worn on the blues and aviator/greys uniforms in lieu of chevrons on the sleeve.  Vanguard also makes them in blue for the "TPU."  Unlike the Air Force, which only has epaulets for SNCOs (since, as I understand, they can still be worn with the sweater?), all CAP NCOs may wear the epaulets instead of sleeve chevrons, if they choose to do so.

[1LtNurseOfficer]

The grey, embroidered CAP NCO epaulet sleeves that can be worn on the blues and aviator/greys uniforms in lieu of chevrons on the sleeve.  Vanguard also makes them in blue for the "TPU."  Unlike the Air Force, which only has epaulets for SNCOs (since, as I understand, they can still be worn with the sweater?), all CAP NCOs may wear the epaulets instead of sleeve chevrons, if they choose to do so.

Reg citation, please.

[jimmydeanno]

Figure 6-4. Senior Member NCO and Airmen Grades
(May wear cloth chevrons or embroidered gray epaulet.)

[Hawk200]

Figure 6-4. Senior Member NCO and Airmen Grades
(May wear cloth chevrons or embroidered gray epaulet.)

Ya know, I remember that from the reg, but I didn't think Vanguard actually made those epaulets. May have to order a few sets to add the uncommon insignia collection.